Funday part doux........<-----that's French

If I wasn't such a lazy _______________(starts with Ba and kinda rhymes with mustard), I might try cutting the grass tonight.....I don't mean "MOW", I mean "CUT"....With scissors......just to see how long it would take....And because I saw an old guy doing it once, and his yard looked AWESOME!......I've cut mine with a weedeater before, but who hasn't done that?......However, I have never had the knee stamina to try it with scissors.................Better yet, maybe I could get that old guy to cut my grass.....I could bribe him with Metamucil and Geritol.....Then, I would be allowing him to provide an useful important public service, and he wouldn't feel like such a drain on society.......Yeah! Just think, if we could get all the lazy old people to start working again, we could put all the Mexicans out of work, and then they'd have to go back to selling Tacos.........Wait! What? Too stereotypical?.......................I keeed, I keeed.

Nah, I HEART old people...........And Mexicans............................................just not old Mexicans.


I love America! That's random, but true.

I'm thinking about having an "End of Summer" cookout.......probably sometime this Fall or Winter....I think I'll invite some friends, since that's usually what normal people do at such things, and I like to pretend I'm normal........But just my cool friends.....cause otherwise, that would suck.....Who wants to eat burgers and dogs with a bunch of LAME-O's......So, if you're cool and you're my friend, expect to get an invite.......If not, do I really need to spell it out?

FUNDAY..............

Here goes another joyously climatic exuberance-filled Monday............(really it sucks, but at least it's going fast).

I almost had a wreck today as I swerved to miss a dog that walked out in front of me. Poor thing. I'm pretty sure it was being pushed out into the street by this guy with glasses and a cane who was holding onto it's little back-harness thingy....I hate when people are mean to animals like that.....I pulled over, hoped out, and said, "Hey, Michael Vick! You think pushing that dog in front of me was funny?!"....Then I grabbed his wimpy cane thingy and beat that blank stare off his face.....PETA would have been so proud of me.

Stay tuned.............Funday ain't over yet..............(yeah, that's right! I said, "ain't". How you like me English now?!)

*as an aside* That reminds me of an old joke. This college English professor was giving a lecture on the proper use of Grammar. He said, "Although it is not always proper, a double negative can make a positive statement. However, a double positive will never equal a negative statement." Just then, from the back of the lecture hall someone shouted, "Yeah, right!"

Hey, I didn't say it was a good joke, only that it was old.

Stupid Things I've Done........and Censorship is from the Devil.....

I am starting a new feature on my blog called Stupid Things I've Done. I have to give credit to my homey, Travis over at I Like To Fish, for the idea. Not that he actually gave me the idea, cause that would have required him to actually READ my blog.....Ahem!*clears throat*.....You might say his blog inspired me to share some of my own less than stellar achievements. Like the TMI thing, regrettably I have done plenty of stupid stuff. (Does waking up this morning count?) What better way to keep my ego in check than to share these stories with you. Anyway, go check out Travis and I'll work on getting some stories up soon.


If you noticed some of my blog posts missing, you are not imagining things. If you didn't noticed, forget I said anything, Mr. or Mrs. Unobservant.


Also, if you have any suggestions or comments about the Funny Pages, regarding layout/appearance/content, I would like to hear it...........Complaints can be kept to yourself, thank you.