Thursday, June 7, 2012

My Family: I Can't Take These People ANYWHERE!

A relative of my daughter's preschool teacher recently opened a restaurant in our area, and we had been meaning to stop in and try it.

And since we hate to cook and were out by there, we stopped in.

What the HELL is a "bistro"?

Sounds like some kind of commie French place where stuffed shirts sit around drinking fancy coffee and eating croissants and discussing their hatred of Western Capitalism.

Definitely not the usual type of place for this area.

See, my family is more of the McDonald's, Arby's, Bob Evans, Cracker Barrel, Steak-n-Shake, Long John's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Chinese Buffet-type of connoiseurs.

Once in a blue moon, we'll go "fancy" and hit the Applebee's.

That's high-falutin' for our area.

So needless to say, as soon as we hit the door, we had some reservations.

Actually, we wondered if we should have made some reservations first.

My lovely wife, the tightwad, said "This looks expensive."

My kids asked, "Is this a museum?"

I wondered if kids were even allowed in a place like this. 

I saw this and thought, "Oh shit! Square plates! I hope I brought enough cash."

Within seconds of being seated, my daughter had thrown her silverware on the floor.

My oldest son spilled pepper all over the table. He was confused by the combo salt and pepper-grinder\shaker they had on the table. I showed him how the salt shakes out of the top, and by turning the top (like he had just done) it will cause freshly ground pepper to pour out the bottom.

My youngest son practically spilled his water looking to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him because, "It looks like the hole goes all the way through the bottom of the glass."

It's funny how being in a nice place instantly causes you to be concerned with stuff like table manners.


That last one was my wife to the 8yr old, who kept covering up with his napkin.

It went like this:
Wife: "Place your napkin in your lap."
8 yr/old: "Where is my napkin?"
Wife: "You're covering up with it."
8 yr/old: "THAT'S NOT A NAPKIN! It's CLOTHE! It's soft like a blanket!"

Seems the lack of paper napkins confused him.

I felt like I was with the Beverly Hillbillies.

I half expected one of them to ask the waitress, "Ya'll have a concrete pond out back?"

Then came time to order. Unable to find exactly what the prices were on the menus, my wife ordered a salad, and I ordered a burger. The kids got something from the "kids menu" the waitress brought.

My wife's salad came and looked something like this:

She said it was excellent.

I couldn't find a picture of my burger, but it was similar to this. Just imagine it on a bun with fresh condiments.

It was wonderful.

We were really impressed with the fancy presentation of everything, and the kids even loved their food.

Evidently the guy running the place is a classically trained chef.

"No kids, the white coat does not mean he's a doctor."

I held my breathe as the check came.....

The total was $33 and some change.

Unbelievable for the quality!

Not to mention, for feeding a family of FIVE!

Hell, we spend almost that much at McDonald's!

I told my wife, "It's big city food, at a small town price."

Still, I think we'll leave the kids at home next time.

Monday, June 4, 2012

What's Up, World?!

Hey you! Yeah, I'm talking to you!

What's up? How you been?

Man, seems like we haven't seen each other in FOREVER.

Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue blogging.

I mean, yes, I have been crazy busy at work and at home and with firefighting.

I had planned to make a return to Standup, and I had kind of gotten bored with blogging.

Plus, they changed my job description at work, and now I get to work from home more.

This is a very good thing on many levels, except for blogging.

See, I get too distracted at home to blog. I used to blog on my breaks at work during downtime.

At home, when I have downtime from work, I have a million other things to do....when my wife gives them to me.

Firefighting has been way busier than I expected it to be. Between fire calls, fundraisers, meeting, and training classes (Just got my Haz Mat Certification), it's almost like a full-time job. That you don't get paid for!

Now that it's camping season, I have been spending a lot of time with the family as well.

And even though I get to work from home more, work is still crazy busy. They still haven't replaced my retired co-worker, so I am doing both of our jobs. PLUS, the are sending me to a week long training class 5 hrs away in Saganaw, Michigan! Wherever the Fuck THAT is!

I see I lost a follower while I was gone. I am surprised more didn't jump ship. Oh well, I really don't care anymore.

Oh, and I have still been watching lots of TV and Movies online when I get a chance. SEE? More distractions!

I finally broke down and watched all FIVE seasons of Madmen. I'm hooked! It's awesome.

Guess that's all my ramblings for today. Just thought I would pop in and say Hi.

I might be back.


Humor & Funny Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory