Monday, July 12, 2010

Memoir Monday: The Time I Took Weed To School

I am hooking up with Travis for a Memoir post. Haven't done one in awhile and I just remembered this. After reading mine, head over and check out the others.

I used to try to do the right thing, but it wouldn’t have me.

Case in point,

(sometime in Elementary school, maybe 1st or 3rd grade, the details are fuzzy)

We must have had the DARE cops come in and give us the drug talk.

“Just say NO!” and “Be cool, stay in school” or whatever…

I just remember them saying “dime bags aren’t a bag full of dimes” and “It will cost you most than a hundred dimes depending on how it’s cut”.

Maybe that was the guy on the corner.

Regardless, I just knew after that point that drugs were bad and I should rid the world of them.

Fast forward to a couple days later.

I’m out playing across the street by the “rich” neighbors house.

There was a white wood fence that outlined their property.

Imagine my surprise when I found them cultivating their own stash of weed along the fence row.

Sure enough, tiny plants with 5 pointy leaves, just growing like crazy.

Being the vigilant would-be-do-gooder I aspired to be, I gathered up as much of it as I could and raced home.

I placed them in a ziplock baggie and did the only sensible thing.

That’s right…

I took it to school the next day to show my teacher.

After a trip to the office and the police being called, I was asked about where I had acquired such illicit contraband.

I sung like a canary, thinking I was doing my best to rid the world of this THC-filled devil weed, and potentially saving some teenager a life of living in his mom's basement with nothing but a permanent case of Chinese eyes and uncontrollable giggles.

Just thinking that I had single-handedly saved the snack food industry from being molested by dopers with the munchies was reward enough.

Turned out the weed was just….weed.

Supposedly the police had it tested.

But I think really, the principal just tried smoking some.

He did always have Visine on his desk.


Unknown said...

Principals are always doing crap like that. Confiscating weed and smoking it under the bleachers. I'm just saying, that's what I would do.

Just A Normal Mom said...

LOL!! So funny. And you were probably so excited to be doing the "right" thing! Ya gotta watch those principals...

Visiting from Travis'.


kate sweeten said...

That's how I test all of the weeds in my yard to make sure that they're legit :)

Matty said...

I love it. It was ACTUAL weed. LMAOOOOOO

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I read "vaseline" instead of "visine".....I was going a whole other place with that one.....

Anonymous said...

Aw, what a little do gooder you were! I think its cute.

Moooooog35 said...

Funny that you call me your 'rich neighbor.'

Really... just 'middle class' suffices.

MrsBlogAlot said...

HA! You have saved us all!

Ducky said...

Snitches get stitches

Or so the tshirt's read in the hood....justsayin

Momma Fargo said...

Who would have thunk all this time you worked undercover at such a young age? And here, I thought to myself...I bet it was that lady's prized Japanese maples. Good thing it was just weeds. LOL.

Pat said...

Ha! You saw the rich people "cultivating" their weed. Read: picking weeds in their backyard.

Aahh, kids are sooo stupid!

I mean, geez if you hung out in my neighborhood, somebody might have beaten you up and taught you a lessoN!

carissajade said...

Bahaha I love this! I can totally imagine myself doing the same thing. I was always looking for pills with stickers on them because that's what they told us to look for.. never found any. Though I may have "made" some with advil and those little lisa frank stickers and left them in the bathroom.

Kim of Mo Betta said...

you are freakin' hilarious, glad to have 'discovered' your blog...I can always use a good laugh!

Corianda said...

Haha. Oops. When I was a kid my parents tried to make saying no to drugs "fun" by purchasing the board game, aptly titled, "Just Say No". I believe one of the scenarios players were encouraged to make the right decision in was:
"if you suspect someone you know is selling drugs what would you do?"
Well, I know what you would do !!

Great post mate.


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