Monday, March 29, 2010

Memoir Monday: We 3 Little Kings

Memoir Monday

Remember my buddy J.T.? He’s the one in Afghanistan fighting for our freedom right now! If not, go back and read this post. Or this one.

Well, J.T.’s parents used to go out of town occasionally.

And when teenager’s parents go out of town and leave them on their own, everybody knows that said teenager will immediately call some of his buddies to come over and have many adult beverages.

I’m not totally sure that was J.T.’s original intent this time. If memory serves me, he was much more interested in using this time to pursue that forbidden fruit that his girlfriend of the time had been hiding under her clothing
However, his buddies still showed up, with Little Kings in tow, and promising not to disturb the fruit sampling.

These “buddies” were Me, Carl, and Rosie.

Now, before you say anything, YES, Rosie sounds like a girl’s name. BUT not in this case.

Nope, Rosie was a friend of ours from another town that would occasionally stay the weekend at Carl’s house. Carl used to go to Rosie’s school, before moving to ours, and they were best friends. Rosie was a really cool dude.

A side note: You know how people joke about being the “mailman’s kid”. Well, Rosie WAS the UPS man’s kid. True story. His parents were white as white can be. Rosie was born needing a green card and nursing on salsa…….It didn’t take his dad long to realize that mom had been getting too many special deliveries from the Mexican UPS man……..Guess he found out What Brown Can Do For You……….It will screw your wife while you’re at work……Anyway, dad split.

Back to the party.

So, the “buddies” originally honored their promise to respect the young couple’s privacy and just be content with their Little Kings.

After polishing off several packs of Little Kings, that promise was a little harder to remember.

The boys became a little more unruly with each empty bottle.

After J.T. threatened to put an end to their festivities, the boys moved on.

J.T.’s mom had a really nice tanning bed in their house, which the boys decided to use.

Carl, being the most light-skinned of the 3, went first……Rosie would be going last, of course.

About 10 mins into his session, Carl fell asleep/passed out.

Ed and Rosie decided to turn the timer back all the way.

It is unclear how many times this occurred until Carl finally awoke, resembling the signature item on Red Lobster’s menu.

The boys took great pleasure in smacking Carl on the chest and back the next day.

Good times.


Travis said...

That story would be different today.

"Carl was charged a 10% tax for tanning, then was diagnosed with skin cancer, so we had to pay the 10%."

Isn't Obama wonderful?

Tony said...

Wow...I guess teen aged guys never change...doesn't matter what decade they're from, because my buddies and I used to do the same thing! Minus the tanning bed...

Cassie said...

Let that be a lesson to you, never drink and tan.

Captain Dumbass said...

That reminds me of a friend spitting burning sambuca across my parents dining room table one high school evening. Ah, those were the days.

Meg said...

And I thought you were going to say you shaved his eyebrows. Clearly I have no idea what teen boys can get up to!

Coffeypot said...

why is it that teen boys, when left to their own wilds, migrate to booze and sex? Oh yea! Because it's there.

June said...

I love Travy's comment!!

Ducky said...

Nursing on Salsa? Did his cries sound like Ole?

Anonymous said...

..Guess he found out What Brown Can Do For You……….It will screw your wife while you’re at work - HAHAHAHAHA! Best line ever!

ScoMan said...

"Mailman's kid".. never heard it, but using it from now on.

That is an awesome prank. I give it four stars.

Anonymous said...

Boys will be boys. Luckily you didn't fry the poor little bugger

carissa said...

That's great, and just one more reason I wish I had been a teenage boy. I mean not literally.. but yall just seem to have so much more fun. Meanwhile we were freezing each other's underwear.. I never got the evilness in that...

JennyMac said...

Guess he found out What Brown Can Do For You

HAHAHA...not exactly what UPS Marketing Department had in mind. HAHAHAHAHA.

Tamara Dawn said...

Oh man!! That is messed up! I hope he didn't look like a leather belt a week later!! Meanies

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

You are going to feel really bad when he's diagnosed with skin cancer...

Well, maybe not you, but a normal person would.

Matty said...

Aah yes, the good ole days. Parents away spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E.


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