Dr. Dragonlady and How I Got FIRED.

Dear Dr. Dragonlady,

I must say, when you first got me FIRED, I actually planned your death and destruction. See, I was so shocked when it happened. Not that I didn’t expect it, nor that I didn’t deserve it. I was shocked that every other physician in the practice caved to your demands. Seems I was the ONLY one willing to put you in your place. That’s what shocked me the most. How everybody else could be so terrified of you, is beyond me, but just proves what a nasty bitch you were. I really thought someone would have taken my side.

Let’s see:
*Cherub (Office Manager)= Nope……even though two days prior to carrying out the firing, she put down on my 90-day review, that I was the best, most knowledgeable, and friendliest Medical Assistant that the practice ever had.

*Dr. Russianjew (Practice owner/Head Dermatologist) = Nope…..even though he always requested that I work with him on your off days.

*Dr. Airheadhotness (Outpost Dermatologist) = Nope….even though she always made a point of telling me how pleased she was with my work.

*Dr. NoBalls (aka Mr. Dragonlady) = Not a chance…..Even though I was probably the closest thing to a friend your husband’s ever had. At least since he’s been married to you and therefore you’ve kept his balls in your purse, that is.

*The four Female Medical Assistants that were also part of our “team” = Not a one (bitches)…..even though they would talk everyday at lunch about how much they hated you and wanted to quit and wished you were dead and how many times that day you had made them cry.

In fact, when Cherub broke the news, she apologized profusely to me. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to feed my family. But I’m thankful NOW.
See, I had never been let go from anywhere before this. In fact, when I would leave a place, they would usually beg me to stay. Cause I’m AWESOME!
I know you were a newer physician, but that gives you NO excuse to treat your staff like shit. I think you actually got off on seeing how mean you could be, and how many times you could make the girls cry in a day. I came closer to punching you than I ever have to a woman in my life. Even your patients noticed you being a bitch, and would often ask your staff if they were “Alright?” after you left the room.
Not only that, but you sucked. Your hands were too damn shaky to be doing all those Derm surgeries. That’s why we had to use so much numbing on every patient. You cut all over the damn place. Good thing your Plastic Surgery trained husband was there to cover your ass and clean up your messes. That’s probably why you married him. That, and his lack of a spine. What a team you made. You’d cut, he’d close . Good thing too, cause your sutures looked like shit. I’ve seen better needle work in a Home Ec class. Is that how they taught you at Duke. Probably, cause Duke sucks.
I am interested to know exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.
Was it cause I told you that, we didn’t like being force to listen to your David Sedaris books on tape while riding for hours in your car on the way to clinics? Sorry, not everybody wants to hear about his homosexual exploits.
Was it because I asked your husband, Dr. NoBalls, if he was a Sadist? I was just trying to figure out why he put up with so much of your abuse.
Was it because I told you that I didn’t want to work with you, and put in for that other job in the office? That must have been it, because that’s what Cherub mentioned. She said when you made your case to the other docs, you said that I shouldn’t be the stationary office medical assistant if I was willing to work with ALL the physicians, since all the physicians had days working in the office.

Whatever. They all got theirs in the end.

Two days after I was fired, you announced you were leaving to take an internship in San Diego. The practice lost all that money they invested in the equipment for “your” special procedure, not to mention having to pick up all yours and Dr. NoBalls’ patients. All of the two-faces bitches of medical assistants that worked for you were let go, since they were no longer needed.

I should actually thank you. If I would have been there until you left, I would have totally missed the posting deadline for my VA job. You actually did me a solid. I went from working a suckass job making $9.25 an hour, to getting a sweet government job for about $38,000 a year, plus kicking benefits.

So, thanks, Dr. Dragonlady.

Love,
Ed

P.S. You totally wanted me too. Don’t think I didn’t catch you checking out my ass. Plus, you were always “accidentally” rubbing up against me.

*names have been changed to protect the guilty, and to avoid potential lawsuit*