I totally murdered a fly last night.
It was giving me the evil eyes.
Gandhi would have been pissed.
He loved cows.
They have big eyes.
What?
Would You Rather Wednesday----brought to you by the fine folks at Maxie Pad. (no, that's not an endorsement)
Would You Rather...
Moon a crowded train full of people, only to have the doors close on your pants as the train pulled away from the platform, thereby taking you for a wild half-naked ride down the tracks?
OR
Be on the train being mooned, which is so crowded, your face is pressed against the door glass right next to train dudes naked ass? And to make matters worse, everyone on board is trying to get their phones out to take a picture of train dude stuck, but you know that means that your face pressed next to his ass will be all over the news and Internet, thereby making it look like you wanted to do that.
(It happened. Read the odd news on Yahoo, people!)
Funniest thing I read yesterday, then had to pray for forgiveness about, and then reread again and again and thought seriously about stealing but decided to link it was this
Make sure you read the comments by "Anonymous" and our good friend CK's Lunchbox.
I don't know who you are, "Anonymous" (and don't think I didn't Google Anonymous, cause I did and you don't want to know what I found but it wasn't you, I don't think), but that was some funny stuff.
My dog keeps chasing and biting her tail.
Have you ever tried that?
I have.
She doesn't like it.
She refuses to hold still.
Stupid dog.
The Bees have been trying to get in to the house like dead people to a cemetery.
They sense the cold coming.
NEWS FLASH BEES!
Slow cold death outside, or quick squish death inside.
The end result is the same.
Cause everybody knows, you can't let them inside.
If you do, they eat all the honey and leave their stingers lying around everywhere and hog the remote.
And there goes the neighborhive.
The holidays are approaching, and that means one thing.
HIDE the old peoples dentures!
Then sit back and enjoy watching them gum the peanut brittle.
Old people can't resist that stuff, even without their teeth.
It's like hard crack for toothless babies.
11 comments:
In all seriousness, the bees are out. They're just leaving. Apparently cell phone waves and stuff are messing with them.
That M Night Shamalamalmayhemalama movie was about that. Shit went down, and it got all crazy.
I will cut a tree down.
Oh yeah. And I'd totally rather have my face in the ass pic. It would get me a wicked amount of people reading my blog.
Who are the people in your neighborhive, in your neighborhive, in your neighbooorhiiiiive...
I'll take being the mooner, as opposed to the moonies on the train.
Oh, and you didn't ask but, I would rather have Mickey Mouse waffles, out of a MM Waffle maker than Jesus toast out of the Jesus toast maker.
Cause really, that toast was just creepy!
You're awful and I'm becoming a fan.
I'll be the mooner.
Wasn't so bad the first time.
Face in the glass next to the ass for sure! I would make fun of it and ham it up for the cameras and then show everyone the crazy sh*t that happens to me!
Are you saying you bite your dogs tail? I'm lost...
Bees are clinging to my brick outside trying to suck up that last warmth from the stone. I hate those effers. I am that person...you know, the idiot flapping her arms and screaming as I bee innocently passes by. I can't control myself. Those creepy bastards scare me!
I will join you on your quest to find the true anonymous - that was hilarious. Do we need a glass slipper or something?
Totally the mooner! I think that happened to me once -I didn't check the link...it wasn't me was it?
Bee's - who has bee's??? I have ladybugs. They creap in through the tiniest openings and they divebomb you while you sit and watch the boobtube...so NOT sexy
I'd rather be the moon-ee. The world does not need to see my spank bank.
I've always been fond of the expression "Jesus tits". I bet there's a tanning bed for the Lord that could make that a reality.
Be mooned is my choice.
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