Monday, October 19, 2009

Memoir Funday: My dreams of being Scott Hamilton (minus the nut cancer)

Travis wants another story, so here goes:

I grew up in Indiana, home of the cold. Yes, we get some warm summers, but we also get an extra helping of the cold and snow to make up for the nice weather those bastards in the southern states enjoy most of the year.

Even though we get all this snow and cold weather, there aren't too many bodies of water around here to try Ice Skating. We have a few creeks and a river, but nothing good enough to perfect my triple axle back-somersault with a triple sow-cow layout.

One cold winter morn, while playing in the snow with my neighbor, this deficiency was lamented.

See, we weren't happy just building snow forts and snowmen and having snowball fights and pushing littler kids faces in the snow. No, we had bigger dreams. Olympic size dreams.

My neighbor, being all of 14 to my 10, came up with a brilliant idea.

My parents had bought us one of those 24' circular x 4' deep above ground pools a few years prior. And since it cost a fortune to have the firetruck come out and fill it up, they left it mostly full in the winter.


Above Ground Ice Rink.

We quickly agreed that this was the most AWESOME idea ever, and headed for the ladder.

There was some sadness at the fact that we were without the proper footwear, but we decided that our boots would have to suffice.

As is turns out, above ground pools don't make great ice rinks.

Seems that when you add the weight of the water and ice, along with the weight of 2 Pre-teen boys jumping and sliding and spinning, that the flimsy vinyl walls will buckle like the knees of an intern on the Late Show.

Our glorious ice rink instantly turned into a giant backyard slip-n-slide.

We became two popsicles.

My mom almost became Dick Cheney when she found out.

Good Times.


adrienzgirl said...

You wanted to be a short, bald, GAY ice princess when you grew up?

Anonymous said...

That's a kick ass pool story.

I once drove my friend's brother's Spree full bore into their swimming pool because I am made of mistake. That's the only pool story I have, though.

carissajaded said...

oh hahahah how fun! Even if it didn't end well... I'm pretty sure I would have tried it too!

Unknown said...

luckily i live in a part of indiana that we have plenty of lake access.

Aleta said...

Ain't no bastard and any time you want the hot humid, muggy, heat index up to 110, you just give me a hollar and I'll shoot some of that air your way! Lol.

LMAO about the story. "We became two popsicles" with a red behind after that I imagine!

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny!

Travis said...

Thanks for the participation!

You should have rode that shit out, Bond style.

Ducky said...

I hear Disney on Ice is hiring

Sebastian Anthony said...

Another great tale from your trailer park...!

Phillipia said...

Awesome fun story:)

Ed said...

adrienzgirl: Don't act like you didn't too.

Imnotbenny: Kick ass is what happened to me when my mom found out. Thee Spree sounds like a wild ride.

carissajaded: It seemed like fun at the time, until the water ran out.

Stacie's Madness: Oh, sure! Just rub it in, you lakeliver.

Aleta: I'll see your hot humid muggy heat index, and raise you one blizzard with frozen water pipes.

Secretia: Unfortunately, not everybody thought

Travis: I don't know about Bond, but I did do a little Kelly Slater before transitioning into Michael Phelps.

Daffy: And how did you hear that? We both know you have no ears.

Sebastian: I don't live in a trailer park, but here's an interesting fact: Even our trailer parks have fluoride in the water to promote good dental hygiene. Jealous?

Phillipia: Thanks.;)

Jeff said...

i always wanted to do that on my parents pool too, but i was more worried about going over the edge and dropping the 6 feet to the frozen concrete. either way, epic fail

Sebastian Anthony said...

Totally jealous!

I have to buy frickin' toothpaste to get MY dose of fluoride.

Tracie said...

Too funny! Your poor mother.


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