I know I'm late.....I almost didn't post today.....Weather is messing with me bad, and there ain't nothing funny about back pain......unless it's someone elses.....Then it's hilarious.
So I'm thinking.....Why is it that the only people who see alien spaceships are inbred trailer people or some desert hermit?......Do Alien beings intentional seek out such fine examples of the human race?.......Are these societal outcasts the most trustworthy individuals that the news crews can find to interview?
This all brings me to another thought.....If you know you live in an area of the country where they have a large occurrence of Tornadoes, and you know that said Tornadoes are attracted to Aluminum, cheap particle board, and shag carpet; then why would you choose to splurge on that nice new/used mobile home?......Maybe you just aren't aware.......Let me help with an SAT type question....Tornadoes are to Trailers, as Flies are to_____? (Hint: 4-letter word beginning with S and rhyming with spit).......Seriously, your chances of survival would be better if you were standing in the middle of a field and wearing an open parachute.
Which leads me to another idea.....Since I feel it is my duty to help those less intellectually fortunate than myself, I will therefore, one day travel the country to the Tornado ravaging areas and look for any trailers that have been placed in said areas....... Then, if the wheels have been left on the trailers I find, I will promptly hook my truck up to these Tornado magnets and tow them to a safer location.....Say, somewhere in the desert.....so they'll still see their alien friends occasionally...............................................................I'm always here to help.
P.S Look for me tomorrow on Cheesecake Mom's site. Turns out I'm the featured friend over there. Also, I probably won't be posting the Tuesday Quickies because of my Pop's eye surgery. If I do, it'll be up late.
9 comments:
Dude, did some trailer queen piss ya off? I will have to say that I too have oft wondered about the whole Tornado Alley Doublewide thing... maybe they grew up watching Wizard of Oz and just really want to meet the flying monkeys...ya think?
Ed, only those poor uneducated redneck folks call 'em alien spaceships, the conspiracy theorist edumacated folks call them UFOs.
P.S. Green with envy on the Cheesecake spot! :P
P.S.S. Hope you feel better soon! :D
I grew up in Tennessee...tornadoes and trailers abound!
Hey Ed - email me you doofus! LOL
I'm sending your ?'s in a few minutes!
Hope you are feeling better soon! Ain't nothing more depressing than a funny man in pain.
I will stand outside and throw rocks at tornadoes. That's real. As someone who has lived in a trailer for the better part of his life, I can safely say that I have never seen an alien. Thought I did one time, turns out, it was a turkey.
Oh I forgot to mention I put some lingerie on my post today. Yeah even a garter! Tell your wife there are some great cheap lacy things on sale right now!
Am I wearing the lacy things? No. I would like to keep my readers...not send them screaming for the nearest hot poker and gouging their eyes out with it...but Adriana Lima is up there :)
Daffy: No, I never had my heartbroken by a trailer queen, but I did date a girl whose ass was as big as a double-wide......No, I didn't.
adrienzgirl: Thanks for clarifying the terminology for me. You obviously have lots of experience. As for the spot....eat your heart out.
Shine: I actually lived in Tennessee for awhile, and was caught in a Tornado. Blew my mind.
Tamara: Thanks for addressing me by my formal title...Doofus. And thanks to some good meds, my back is feeling much better.
Travis: Be careful with the rocks. As Ron White says, "It's not THAT the wind is blowing, it's WHAT the wind is blowing." And I stressed "inbred" trailer people. We both know you grew up in a fine southern Baptist family where incest was a no-no. As in, that's the part they were touching. lol
Tamara(again!): Told the wife about the lingerie. As for not modeling them your self.....dream killer.
i was going to say flies are to HONEY!
not shit. haha.
I think the rednecks are able to relay their stories in the majority because they're the only ones aliens throw back.
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