Demotivational Posters!!!---The Why-Not Edition

OR

I Am The World's Best Co-worker!

A friend at work told me they have an addiction.

I won’t mention any names (Amy), but let me say that it is definitely NOT Amy.

And it’s as bad as crack.

Being the good friend I am, I tried to have an intervention.

First, I listened attentively as Amy she confessed the addiction.

Then, I asked Amy her questions about the addiction, to help myself better understand it.

Like…

“Are you effing serious?”

“Please tell me you’re effing kidding me?!”

“How long has thing been going on?”

“Why?”

“What happens if you don’t do it for awhile?”

“What do you get out of it?”

“Do you sit around in your underwear, eating a bag of Cheetos while doing it?”

Because I’m compassionate to others struggles.


I also tried pointing out the seriousness of the matter.

“You know that’s seriously sad, right?”

“How do you think this effects your family?”

“You NEED HELP!”

“You’re pathetic!”

Because I care when a friend is hurting and/or misguided.


I even tried making fun of the addiction.

“I used to do that too….when I was in 8th grade!”

“I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe that stuff is even still around!”


Sadly, it didn’t take.

You see, as with most addicts, Amy she can’t help herself.

Amy She can’t stop.

It’s like crack, people!

She’s like a crack ho’.

Except, in Amy her case she’s a Wamp ho’.

Yep.

She’s hooked on The People’s Court.

DVR’s it.

Watches old reruns.

Never misses an episode.

She even knows that Judge Wampner isn’t the judge anymore.

Truly sad.

But it does make me feel better about myself.

So THIS Happened Last Night....FEATURING The STICKMAN Family

Being Midwesterners, and living in Tornado Alley, we are quite used to storms. Rarely do we bat an eye, much less batten down the hatches.

Every year, from early March until about November, you keep an extra eye out for funnel shaped clouds, and an ear out for wind that howls like a train.

But rarely do you duck & cover after leaving Elementary school.

As you get older, you barely pay attention, until they say one is on the ground and headed for your house. Then you hope your friend with the basement is home. Or you get in a bathtub/interior hallway.

Honestly, Midwesterners have become complacent with thunderstorms.

Much like Californians and Earthquakes.

Or Floridians/New Orleanians and Hurricanes.

However, with all that's happened recently in Joplin, MO and Tuscaloosa, AL, we thought we might take more precautions last night when we saw THIS.

So, we gathered the kids together in an interior hallway, which we had lined with mattresses and couch cushions.

And THAT'S when the trouble began.

I shit you not (pun intended), RIGHT after this, the dog came in and farted.

We decided to take our chances with the storm at that point, and evacuated the mattress cave.