FACEBOOK Fun: Here's What You've Missed.

Although I haven't done much blogging lately, I still check in on Facebook and occasionally dispense my own brand of funny.

Here's what you might have missed if we aren't FB friends.

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Here's a poster I made for Facebook.

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Back to the posts.

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There's Nothing Funny About Firefighting Training

As most of you know, I started Firefighter training earlier this month.

Let me just say, there is a LOT more to being a fireman than calendars and parades.

Like Tenderloin frys. AND Pancake Breakfasts.

But seriously, I never thought there would be more to learn than which way to point the hose when spraying water.

Example: The other night we learned there are about 50 different types of electrical meters. You have to know the differences and how to pull each one, unless you want to be electrocuted.

Who knew?

There has been a lot of that kind of stuff.

Basically, we sit in class each night and learn all the potential ways we can die.

And if that's not enough, they show us videos of it happening to reinforce the death factor.

Sure, we learn cool stuff too, like how the leading cause of Arson fires is from friction.

It's generated by the mortgage papers rubbing against the insurance policy.

But seriously, there is a lot of mental stuff to this.

AND there is the physical stuff too.

Which brings me to this past Saturday. Saturday was our first experience working in our "Turnout" or "Bunker" gear (i.e. Fireman suit)
-Pants
-Rubber Boots
-Coat
-Nomex hood
-Helmet
-Gloves
-SCBA (Self Contained Breathing Apparatus) Mask & Air tank

About 25-30 pounds of life-saving fire-resistant layers & gear that make up the Firefighters personal protection equipment.

Our first task was to build confidence in our equipment by completing the SCBA Confidence Course.

Basically, we had to crawl around on all fours following a hose line, while wearing all that shit and breathing a limited air supply, to complete various tasks and overcome obstacles.

Did I mention we were basically blindfolded?

Yeah, they had us put our Nomex hoods on backwards. Couldn't see shit.

It sucked.

Here is a video of the exact course I completed. See for yourself:



Paul Thompson from the video is the same instructor I had. Great guy.

I'm not sure I built much confidence in my gear though. My SCBA malfunctioned, causing me to lose all my air and not be able to breathe. Twice. The first time right in the middle, and they made me fix it and start over. Thankfully, the second malfunction happened after I completed it the second time, because I would not have been able to do it a third time. I was BEAT!

However, I did build confidence in myself for not giving up and for completing the course, which is something several of the more experienced guys in the class were not able to do.

Funny News & FAILS

My comments in BLUE, as always.

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop arrested

MADISON, Wis. (AP) — A Madison man with an unusual name is in jail after police said he violated his bail conditions from a previous run-in with the law.

Thirty-year-old Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop is tentatively charged with carrying a concealed knife, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a probation violation after his arrest Thursday.

He was arrested after residents complained of excessive drinking and drug use near Reynolds Park.

He legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop in October. Court records show his previous name was Jeffrey Drew Wilschke.

Jeffrey must be a Hanson fan.

Papa John's apologizes for racial slur on receipt

NEW YORK (AP) — Papa John's Pizza is apologizing after an employee typed a racial slur on a receipt to a customer at one of its New York City locations.

Customer Minhee Cho posted a message on Twitter along with an image of the receipt from a Manhattan location describing her as "lady chinky eyes." ßHahahaha

Several hours later after the message had gone viral, the Louisville, Ky.-based company formally apologized on its Facebook and Twitter pages for Cho's experience.

The company says the employee was dismissed.

'If Fred Got Two Beatings Per Day…' Homework Asks

Christopher Braxton told ABC News affiliate WSB-TV in Atlanta that he couldn't believe the assignment his 8-year-old son brought home from of Beaver Ridge Elementary school in Norcross.

"It kind of blew me away," Braxton said. "Do you see what I see? Do you really see what I see? He's not answering this question."

The question read, "Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?" ---7?

Another math problem read, "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?" ---14?

Another question asked how many baskets of cotton Frederick filled. ---What kind of question is that? That story problem is incomplete!
"I was furious at that point," Braxton said. ---Me too! It’s impossible to answer!
"This outrages me because it just lets me know that there's still racists," said Stephanie Jones. Oh…guess I missed that part.
"Something like that shouldn't be imbedded into a kid of the third, fourth, fifth, any grade," parent Terrance Barnett told WSB-TV. "I'm having to explain to my 8-year-old why slavery or slaves or beatings are in a math problem. That hurts." ---As if Math isn’t confusing enough!

"In this one, the teachers were trying to do a cross-curricular activity," Gwinnett County school district spokeswoman Sloan Roach said.

Roach said the teachers were attempting to incorporate social studies into math problems. ---GENIUS!

"We understand that there are concerns about these questions, and we agree that these questions were not appropriate," she said. ---You think?

Utah woman uses fake mustache to rob neighbors

A 31-year-old woman in Salt Lake City has been charged with two counts of burglary after she allegedly used a fake mustache to disguise her appearance as she robbed her neighbors.

The Salt Lake Tribune reports that the unnamed woman's neighbors first noticed that several thousand dollars were missing from a security box inside their home. A later review of the box revealed that an additional $9,000 was missing.

In response, the neighbors then decided to set up a trap for the repeat robber, placing cash out as bait and setting up security cameras to catch it all on tape. That's when a woman, dressed in a "very large men's suit," a beanie hat and fake mustache was caught on tape using a key to enter the house and steal the cash.

Pretty much the only thing she wasn't doing in the video was twirling the fake mustache in sinister fashion while standing next to a set of train tracks. ßHahahahaha

The neighbors instantly recognized the assailant as their neighbor, who had in her possession a spare set of their housekeys to look after their home when they went on vacation. Police searched the woman's home and found the disguise inside.

Now, some funny stuff from the nets.

R.I.P. Mom