Wacky Weird News Wednesday: Even More Stupider

Activists catch Yvonne the runaway cow in Germany

BERLIN (Reuters) - German animal rights activists captured a runaway dairy cow named Yvonne on Friday, three months after her escape from the farm where she was to be slaughtered captured nationwide attention.

The bovine had become a media star, with helicopters and infrared used in a search across the southern state of Bavaria after she bolted in front of a police car.

Authorities from Muehldorf, the town near the farm where she broke through an electric fence, had deemed Yvonne a security risk after her encounter with the squad car and had given hunters permission to gun her down.

Activists from the Gut Aiderbichl animal sanctuary had tried to lure Yvonne from a forest where she was holed up with a variety of enticements -- including one of her calves at one point and a breeding bull named Ernst.

Capturing the cow was not easy -- she bucked in the air and required a double dose of tranquilisers when cornered in a field on Friday by a team accompanied by a vet with a blowgun. Now she is in a pen at Gut Aiderbichl.

"In the future she will be out in the fields with the other cows," said farm employee Hans Wintersteller.

Das vill to liff dis strong wiff dis von, yah?

Forgotten mooncakes spark Taiwan station bomb scare

TAIPEI (Reuters) - Police in the southern Taiwan city of Kaohsiung mobilised the bomb squad after a suspicious package was found in a subway station toilet, only to find it contained nothing more dangerous than mooncakes.

A cleaner called police to report the package left on top of a waste bin on Saturday. Part of the station, known for its stained glass ceiling, was cordoned off and explosives experts were called in.

TV pictures showed a police officer in a full protective suit entering the toilet carrying specialist equipment while other officers waited outside with more gear.

The officer then emerged carrying a bright blue cardboard box full of mooncakes, pastries with sweet fillings traditionally eaten at the Mid-Autumn Festival.

"It was x-rayed first to see what it was and whether there was any chemical or electrical reaction," local police station chief Cheng Ming-chung told TV.

"Someone must have put it down to use the toilet and forgotten it when they left," he said, adding that the police would continue to investigate.

5 yen says the evidence "disappears".

Vampire fans to sail off Alaska coast next year

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) - Hundreds of vampire enthusiasts will sail Alaska's fabled Inside Passage in a summer 2012 cruise tailored to their interests that combines gazing at glaciers with a late-night costume ball, organizers said on Thursday.

The "Vamps at Sea" cruise is scheduled for late June, which is a time of near-constant daylight in the far north.

"They've got curtains and they can block everything out -- so it can be as dark as we want it," said organizer Linda Wolf, president of Los Angeles-based agency Cruises Cruises Cruises Inc, who is herself a fan of the vampire genre.

The group will sail on a Holland America ship, the Zuiderdam, and will hit the usual ports of call such as Juneau, Glacier Bay and Ketchikan.

But there will be other special features, including a late-night costume ball, a scavenger hunt and a vampire talent show, Wolf said. There is also a literary angle to the cruise, with vampire-genre authors scheduled to speak, including a relative of the late "Dracula" writer Bram Stoker, according to the cruise website.

Of course. Because Vampires LOVE "near-constant daylight".

Do they NOT watch True Blood?!Geesh!

Freaks!

Republican gun raffle in Giffords' county draws criticism

TUCSON, Ariz (Reuters) - The Republican Party in Representative Gabrielle Giffords' home county is raising eyebrows by raffling off a Glock handgun -- the same brand handgun with which Giffords, a Democrat, was shot through the head in January.

"When I first heard about this last week in an email, I said 'That's a joke, a sick joke. Nobody could be doing that,'" said Pima County Democratic Party Chairman Jeff Rogers.

"This is like tearing the scab off a wound. This community is still healing."

The county Republican organization announced the fund-raiser in its online newsletter, Tracks, on August 26.

"Get yourself a new Glock 23 .40 cal handgun for just 10 bucks -- if your name is drawn," the newsletter reads.

A picture of the handgun, being raffled with three 12-round magazines and a case, also appears in the newsletter. The Republicans are selling 125 tickets.

Jared Lee Loughner, 22, who has since been diagnosed with schizophrenia, is charged with shooting Giffords and 18 others with a Glock 19 handgun during a shopping center meet-and-greet January 8.

Six people died in the rampage before bystanders tackled Loughner, preventing him from reloading.

I, for one, like a good sick joke. Hahahaha

Thai Authorities Arrest Man in Apparent Animal Smuggling Case

VOA NEWS- A man was arrested at Thailand's international airport Friday after he was caught trying to smuggle wild animals out of the country.
The man, identified as a citizen of the United Arab Emirates, was trying to board a flight to Dubai when investigators found a baby bear, two leopards, two panthers and at least two monkeys stuffed in his luggage.
The anti-trafficking group FREELAND, whose members were present during the arrest, says the man is believed to be part of a far-reaching animal trafficking network.

Noah? Is that you?

Seriously people, haven't you even heard of a Traveling Zoo?

Logger says cut off toes to free himself

DENVER (Reuters) - A western Colorado logger said on Wednesday that he amputated all the toes on his right foot with a pocket knife to free himself after a 7-ton trailer landed on his foot, trapping him in an isolated forest.

Jon Hutt, 61, of Montrose, Colorado, said he's "on the mend" after the harrowing August 19 incident.

Hutt told Reuters he was gathering a load of firewood for the upcoming winter months in a remote area west of Telluride, Colorado. As he was working on his tractor-trailer, the trailer lurched, became detached and landed on his foot.

"It was like stepping into a bear trap," he said.

Unable to free himself, Hutt said he hollered for help but after 30 minutes realized "no one was coming," and he needed to take drastic action before shock set in.

Utilizing the 3-inch blade on his pocket knife, Hutt cut away his boot and saw that his only option was to cut off all five toes to escape.

"The three smaller toes were easy, but it took some work to cut through the tendons on the two big toes," he said. "Plus, at that point the blade was getting dull."

After the makeshift surgery, Hutt used a shirt as a tourniquet to staunch the bleeding and drove his semi-tractor trailer down a mountain pass until he got into cell phone range.

He then called 911 and an ambulance met him at a reservoir and transported him to an area hospital. Surgeons at Montrose Memorial Hospital could not re-attach the severed digits.

Hospital spokeswoman Leann Tobin said Hutt spent just four days in the facility, and was released on August 22.

DUDE! WTF!

Florida lawmaker hands out belts under saggy pants ban

ORLANDO, Fla (Reuters) - A Florida lawmaker is welcoming students back to school by handing out 200 leather belts to help them comply with a new state law that bans saggy pants on campuses.

Democratic State Senator Gary Siplin of Orlando pushed for six years for the so-called Pull Your Pants Up law, and finally got his wish last spring.

The state legislature voted overwhelmingly to enact the ban at the start of the 2011-12 school year, making Florida and Arkansas the only two states with such a widespread prohibition against saggy pants for students.

"We want our kids to believe they're going to college, and part of that is an attitude, and part of that is being dressed professionally," Siplin told Reuters.

The statewide school dress code bucks a fashion trend with roots in prison attire and the rap and hip-hop music community. Siplin, who admits to sporting an Afro and platform shoes in his youth, grew tired of seeing young men wearing their pants so low their underwear was exposed.

He originally sought to criminalize saggy pants, but the current law instead subjects repeat violators to up to three days of in-school suspension and up to 30 days suspension from extracurricular activities. It also targets low-cut and midriff-exposing shirts on girls.

Siplin fought off objections from the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, which contend the law violates personal freedom and unfairly targets minority students.

But Siplin, who is black, said he had received accolades from constituents for his efforts.

"The parents, the grandmothers, the professional people, they say, 'How can they walk down the street showing their behinds?' It's not civilized," he said.

Early Monday, Siplin handed out a dozen belts donated by a local church to students who showed up with droopy drawers at Oak Ridge High School in Orlando. He left another 25 belts with school administrators to hand out as needed.

Siplin said he also gave away about 100 belts at two other largely minority high schools as students arrived last week for their first week of school.

"I'm not going to hire anyone, white or black, with saggy pants," he said. "I want to make sure our kids qualify."

ONLY a black man could get away with this.

My favorite part was when he said, "We want our kids to believe they're going to college", like even he wasn't sure there was really any hope to that.

Police: Pole-Wielding Grandma Hit Driver, Threatened Granddaughter

Channel 6 News-INDIANAPOLIS -- An Indianapolis grandmother was arrested earlier this week after she used a wooden pole as a weapon in a public tirade, police said.

Ethel Baker was arrested Monday in the 3200 block of Ashford Drive, near Girls School Road and 10th Street on the city's west side.

Indianapolis police investigators said Baker told them her teenage granddaughter disrespected her and that she was going to beat her with the pole.

Police said Baker chased her granddaughter outside the home and that her dog was hit by a car during the chase.

Investigators said Baker then went after the driver as he tried to apologize, striking him with the pole.

Baker faces a battery charge.

Madea? Is that you?

From my own state, of course. You don't be messin' wit mah-mah.

Man found butchering cow in Utah driveway

OGDEN, Utah (AP) — Authorities are considering charges after a Utah man was found butchering a cow in his driveway.

The Standard-Examiner of Ogden reports that authorities received a call Sunday afternoon from an Ogden resident who reported a neighbor cutting up a cow in his driveway. The caller told authorities they heard what sounded like a gunshot shortly before the butchering began.

Police say when officers arrived, the man was removing the cow's head. He denied shooting the animal, and told the officers it had been delivered dead.

Prosecutors are now reviewing the case for potential charges, including possible health code violations.

I don't blame him.

Feeding five wives gets expensive.

'Brat Pack' actor Anthony Michael Hall arrested

LOS ANGELES (TheWrap.com) - Perhaps Anthony Michael Hall was attempting to re-assert his status as a member of the Brat Pack over Labor Day weekend.

The actor -- perhaps best known for such '80s John Hughes fare as "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club" -- was arrested on suspicion of disturbing the peace and taken into custody Monday night, after allegedly engaging in a disturbance at his Playa del Rey, Calif., condominium complex, the Los Angeles Times reports.

The actor, 43, was arrested at approximately 9:50 p.m. after Los Angeles Police Department officers were called to the residence. Hall's neighbor told police that the actor had torn up plants in the common area of the condominium. When confronted, the neighbor claimed, Hall hurled an obscenity and threatened to beat the neighbor "to a pulp."

Hall was transported to the LAPD Pacific Division Jail, where he posted $500 bail and was released.

This could have all been averted if she had just given him her panties.

::shameless 16 candles reference::