Coworker: “Are you having as busy a day as I am?”
Me: “I’m having one of those days where there’s just not enough ammo in the clip.”
Coworker: “This day is so busy, I wish someone would just come in and kill me.”
Me: “I’m so busy, I’m ready to shoot myself in the face.”
Coworker: “I’m even more busy, so I’m going to slit my wrists with a paperclip and end it.”
Me: “I’m the busiest, which is why I keep an emergency cyanide capsule in my desk, just like a spy, for days like this.”
Coworker: “I’m ready to walk out in front of a semi.”
Me: “I’m ready for a rabid chimpanzee to tear my face off.”
Coworker: “I’m not sure that would do the trick.”
Me: “But afterwards, he would leave me lying faceless and bloody in the Lions cage at feeding time.”
Coworker: “…..”
Me: “And after a couple of hours, the zoo keeper would take whatever was left and run it through a wood chipper.”
Coworker: “That might do it.”
Me: “AND THEN spread THAT in the shark tank.”
Coworker: “You win.”
Me: “YES! I win at dying!”
16 comments:
The chimpanzee thing will actually get you face time on Oprah.
Well..non-face time.
You know death is a very very serious topic and you really shouldn't joke about it....
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm just kidding, go ahead and shoot yourself!
hey if you are gonna do it-do it right. Moooooog is right-Oprah loves chimp attack survivors--too bad you don't intend on surviving.
I'm not sure that you did win at the dying game. Your co-work seemed to start dying part way through your conversation when you started slaughtering him….
Dude. NO ONE wins at dying. *Serious face*
The chimp thing, however, sounds like an interesting experiment...
dude, i totally thought your co-worker had you beat, until you had your wood-chipped remains spread through the shark tank.
YES you win
heee
make sure to vlog it up on here
write your obit in advance..
I had more to say, but I am so busy here that........
that is all
Hey, everyone should be a winner at something, right?
Before you decide to shoot yourself, remember to include me in your will.
My tax dollars at work. I'm so proud. Why I would kill both of you for wasting my money. Then put your bodies in an acid tank.
I think Coffeypot has the answer, government cheese. :) Hope you weren't wasting any more of our time and money on your personal email, gchat, phone, or daydreaming...
Famous words...
Two things are certain...taxes and dying.
I've had a few days like these.
i think you might need a therapist. or, an addiction. either will do.
You're never too busy to punch someone in the heart.
Congrats on winning at dying ;)
Hey, because if you can't win at dying, why try at all right?
ficklecattle.blogspot.com
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