Monday, July 19, 2010

Memoir Monday: My EXP Had More Headjobs Than Me.

It's Memoir Monday Time at Travis'. Read mine, then go check out the others.

Travis wrote a Memoir post today about getting smacked in his first car.

After reading it, I quickly realized that he wasn’t talking about getting high on heroin, and it completely changed my idea of where the story was heading.

Turns out, he was slapped by a girlfriend for cursing in front of her.

Evidently, he was dating his mom.

It was the south.

(Kidding Trav. I know your mom’s a saint)

Anyway, this got me thinking about whether or not I had ever been slapped by a girl when I was younger.

I honestly don’t remember a particular instance.

Oh, I am sure I probably deserved it on occasion.

But I was a pretty nice and shy boy when dealing with the opposite sex. I wasn’t prone to pinching butts or making sexual comments to girls’ faces.

I do remember my first real car though.

One that was specifically bought for me.

It was a solid black ’85 Ford EXP.

It had a 4 speed manual transmission.

It also had an engine that the geniuses at Ford created by pairing a cast iron block with an aluminum head.

So, the iron block would heat to a billion degrees, and the aluminum head would instantly warp.

The head gasket was always blown. Maybe that’s why it was called a “head” gasket.

Helpful tip: Motor oil is NOT supposed to look like Miracle Whip.

I spent more time pushing that car than I did driving it.

It spent for time in the repair shop than on the road.

I’m not sure it ever ran right.

I can’t remember if I ever actually had a girl in that car, but if I did, it was probably to hold the steering wheel straight while I pushed.

I remember a couple times when it was running and drivable.

Like the time me and my buddy, J.T. (he had a Mercury Lynx-basically the same car), raced each other around my yard like it was the Daytona 500.

Not sure how I explained all the oval tracks in the yard encircling the house to my parents, but that may explain the blown gasket problem.


Travis said...

See? I told you my 97 Ford Escort was more dependable!

But seriously, if someone told me I'd blown my head gasket, I'd spend the next ten minutes explaining that I'm not that flexible.

Kimberly said...

This reminds me of a story. Not my first car, but of a story. I might have to share it next memoir monday. If I remember. I'll leave myself a note...

Coffeypot said...

Yeah! In high school a girl was always good for stearing the car while you pushed. So at what age did you decide you weren't gay?

I always thought girls were good for pushing, pumping and humping in or out of the car.

Beta Dad said...

My parents made the mistake of letting me drive the family's '79 Customized Chevy Van in high school. I was not a nice boy, and my friends and I called it the "Fuck Truck." Nice.

Pat said...

Geez, I feel funny being the first girl to comment on here. Is this a guys-only post or what?

If a guy told me about a blown head gasket I probably would have slapped him!

I'm still laughing over Travis' remark!

My first car was a '66 Buick Skylark!

Shut Up! You know you guys are jealous!

carissajade said...

My first car was an 89 Cutlass Supreme. It almost never worked. BUt it was awesome.


Humor & Funny Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory