Day 3 of the Nice Online Persona Challenge laid* down by my wife
I know a lot of you peeps are disappointed in my new positive disposition.
You come here looking for your daily dose of jackassery, only to have me smack you with fluffy kittens instead.
Well, fear not my pessimistic patrons.
Just like Dexter, my Dark Passenger can be put at bay for only so long.
I shall WIN this happy challenge, which will in turn guarantee me lots of sexy time with the Wife (and her ever elusive respect), and then return to my sarcastic roots.
In the meantime, we should all take this as a learning experience.
May we all become better people with brighter personalities.
Maybe even reach out to those around us.
Even give them a squeeze.
Or a playful smack.
Just don’t leave a mark or HR will get involved.
Or better yet, hug a dwarf…..Or midget……Or little person…..Or vertically challenged human, whatever.
Just DON’T pick them up, cause that pisses them off, and this is about positive experiences.
In the meantime, go over to Travis' and check out my guest post** today.
*At least something is getting laid
**I will try and guest post for anybody, if they ask nicely. THIS INCLUDES YOU HILLBILLY DUHN! Yes, you have to actually ask. These things don’t just appear out of my butt hair. And I am NOT boycotting your blog. I just can’t comment on your blog because of the stupid format of your stupid blog’s comments section.
***Wifey, please don’t count that “stupid” talk against my score.
44 comments:
Vertically challenged people scare me. What happens if I hug one of them, and my future child comes out a little person? That means that I'm obligated to love a midget. Those guys are creepy.
HAhahahahahahaha.
Take that POS!
I WIN!
Hahahah....it's ON now!
I got another idea.
Wait for it.
*insert theme song for Jeopardy.*
I have a dark passenger too.
In my butt.
Poop.
*curtsy*
It is done.
Sucks to be you.
Let me know when you find out what it is.
Aha! Ok you've converted me. After reading your post on Travis' blog and then heading over here, I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer live without reading your fluffy kitten snark.
I noticed you're even being nice on your comments. Now I'm off to find out what Princess od Sarcasm did to you. I'm so excited it's scary.
Hahaha...it's not on MY page.
Well, at least my retaliation is not on my page.
I'm afraid it might take your wife a while to find it though. You know...since she's busy tending to the family and such.
*sigh*
You're evil. I will delete you.
Ok. I almost choked on my whiskey when I read "these things just don't appear from my butt hair." You may be my husband's long lost twin.
Now. On to the serious part of my comment. Does your wife know how ass wipey you were on my blog today? Hmmm? Does she? Does she know I posted a pic of an ugly ass ostrich and you asked if that was my self portrait?
Snap.
Ok, heading over there now to read your post!!!
p.s. hope you get the sexy time you're craving! LOL
I just had a glorious fantasy... I was married to a liberal "wonk-eyed", "fat" "dwarf" of every ethnicity....WHO WAS AN ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART!!!!!
Nice Blog Day 3 = Triple Fail
one for the Princess, one for the surfer girl that's not an ostrich, and one for the "vertically challenged" fluffy kitten lovers
This is just too freaky. I can’t stand all this niceness.
I tried it once and everybody started getting friendly and smiley and shit. I got hugs and handshakes and backslaps and other touches. People stared talking to me and asking how I was doing and shit.
Freaked me out. I think they were all Democrats. I shot’em.
jackassery
I love it when you make up words
Apparently your "delete" finger wasn't quick enough....
This is one of those signs of the coming apocalypse isn't it? Dude, don't you have any balls to go with that hairy ass?
This is one of those signs of the coming apocalypse isn't it? Dude, don't you have any balls to go with that hairy ass?
Oh come back Ed! This is too weird even for me. We need your sarcastic wit and bursts of evil whimsy!
The lengths to which men will go to get laid is seriously disturbing. I mean I get shaving your junk. Manscaping is appreciated. Dressing nice, yep every girl's crazy bout a sharp dressed man. Pretty sure they write songs about such.
But altering your personality? We have so crossed the line!!
Hugging dwarves sounds like a good idea.
Actually, for charity I saw an ad today that said we're supposed to hug people in the week before valentines today.
I don't know how that helps charity. I think it just helps lonely old men get their jollies.
Maybe the charity is for lonely old men.
You DID NOT just tell me to touch midgets, dwarfs and the like.
You Are OFFICIALLY on my hit list.
Don't ever forget that your wife checks everything you post!
In my mind, I stapled my coworker to her desk today.
I was really happy.
What's so bad about being happy and optimistic?
I just read this now.
You know, I had NO idea why people were coming up and just randomly hugging me.
I owe you a debt of thanks.
If we are a dwarf, midget or vertically challenged person do we still have to hug someone? cause I think they have enough problems already.
ok that's fine, i just brought a lot of new emo backgrounds in my blog
http://www.emo-backgrounds.info
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