Monday, September 21, 2009

Mondays are Fundays?

I'm not in a good mood today. This Monday sucks. Fall is starting. I hate Fall. It's raining. I hate rain. I forgot my caffeine. I hate no caffeine. No bread for my sandwich. I hate naked sandwiches. The squirrel I hit last week is still in the middle of the road. I hate guilt inducing suicidal squirrels who don't bury themselves. My co-worker keeps asking me questions about his personal PC. I hate being mistaken for an 12 yr/old Indian named "John" or "Alex" who works for Dell tech support. Noisy co-workers keep stopping by and asking me to say something funny. I hate punching people on the clock. I had to park really far away because there was no parking spaces. I hate not having a lug wrench to fit all the different sized lug nuts of the cars that were parked closer than mine. The IT guy keeps speeding by my office in his electric wheelchair. I hate that my lug wrench doesn't fit his wheel chair wheels either. The new TV season starts this week. I hate that I have to decide between Heroes/Castle and MNF Colts vs. Dolphins.

Mondays suck!

Maybe I should have taken a mental health day.

14 comments:

Lily said...

Nice to meet you.
Marry me...

adrienzgirl said...

My favorite funny blog buddy is in a foul disposition today. I hate when I don't get my funnies! :) This Monday does suck!

Ed said...

Lily: I'll ask the wife, but I have a feeling she'll say "Please take him. Just leave his paycheck."

adrienzgirl: Thanks. You made me smile. But just one corner of my mouth, like a stroke victim. Also, all deposits on the funnies are nonrefundable.

Travis said...

A marriage proposal. That's classy. I sure hope she'll stop by my blog too! Isn't it like one day away from you being a featured friend?!?! So exciting!

P.S. I've got some lug wrenches. Get me the gas to come up, and we'll take care of mister "holier than thou" wheelchair man.

Geez. Was that wrong?

(Word verification was "gerap." Definition: The noise the wheelchair will make with no lug nuts.)

Hänni said...

I know you hate Mondays, but they make for great blog fodder, right? Funny post!

Sally-Sal said...

I love rain. And caffeine.

Anonymous said...

Your immense capacity for hate is hilarious to me.

Ed said...

Travis: I just unplugged his battery pack. Same diff.

Hanni: Yes they do, but so can VD, and I wouldn't like that either.

Sally-Sal: Thanks for sharing. I'll be sure to save mine for you.

Imnotbenny: I hate you.

Anonymous said...

Hurray for negativity! Gotta love it!

Ed said...

Doof: Not really. That's too positive.

Skippy said...

wow..so much hate, so little time. It made me laugh out loud though.

Ron said...

Or you could been that huge-ass spider I found and killed with a freshly used toilet plunger. Talk about a shitty way to go... and on a Monday no less. Poor bastard never even made it to Heroes.

Ed said...

Skippy: I'm glad my pain assumed you. Feel free to stick forks in my eyes while you're here.

p.s.I love your peanut butter.

CK Lunchbox: I knew there were reasons why I liked you dude.You really are superman in my book. I hate spiders.

Big Mama Cass said...

Gotta get a Tivo :)

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