Remember my buddy J.T.? He’s the one in Afghanistan fighting for our freedom right now! If not, go back and read this post. Or this one.
Well, J.T.’s parents used to go out of town occasionally.
And when teenager’s parents go out of town and leave them on their own, everybody knows that said teenager will immediately call some of his buddies to come over and have many adult beverages.
I’m not totally sure that was J.T.’s original intent this time. If memory serves me, he was much more interested in using this time to pursue that forbidden fruit that his girlfriend of the time had been hiding under her clothing
However, his buddies still showed up, with Little Kings in tow, and promising not to disturb the fruit sampling.
These “buddies” were Me, Carl, and Rosie.
Now, before you say anything, YES, Rosie sounds like a girl’s name. BUT not in this case.
Nope, Rosie was a friend of ours from another town that would occasionally stay the weekend at Carl’s house. Carl used to go to Rosie’s school, before moving to ours, and they were best friends. Rosie was a really cool dude.
A side note: You know how people joke about being the “mailman’s kid”. Well, Rosie WAS the UPS man’s kid. True story. His parents were white as white can be. Rosie was born needing a green card and nursing on salsa…….It didn’t take his dad long to realize that mom had been getting too many special deliveries from the Mexican UPS man……..Guess he found out What Brown Can Do For You……….It will screw your wife while you’re at work……Anyway, dad split.
Back to the party.
So, the “buddies” originally honored their promise to respect the young couple’s privacy and just be content with their Little Kings.
After polishing off several packs of Little Kings, that promise was a little harder to remember.
The boys became a little more unruly with each empty bottle.
After J.T. threatened to put an end to their festivities, the boys moved on.
J.T.’s mom had a really nice tanning bed in their house, which the boys decided to use.
Carl, being the most light-skinned of the 3, went first……Rosie would be going last, of course.
About 10 mins into his session, Carl fell asleep/passed out.
Ed and Rosie decided to turn the timer back all the way.
It is unclear how many times this occurred until Carl finally awoke, resembling the signature item on Red Lobster’s menu.
The boys took great pleasure in smacking Carl on the chest and back the next day.