Don't get me wrong, I care about our planet. I do my part to help by recycling, not littering, buying goods made from recycled stuff, trying to reuse things, driving moderately fuel-efficient vehicles, etc. My electric Golf Cart gets GREAT mpg!
Still, global warming doesn't sound to bad. I mean, yeah, if you're a polar bear it's a bummer, but I'm not. I live in a colder part of the United States. The winters cause my joints to hurt. I prefer nice weather. I say, a little global warming could be a good thing! It's the perfect solution to my problem, as I always wanted to live in the tropics, I just didn't want to move there.
Think about it. Older people wouldn't have to head south in the winter anymore. Places like Florida would then have more room to put all the illegal immigrants that flood our shores. See, Global Warming could fix the immigration and overcrowding problems. Maybe California could even send some of their illegals to Florida, which would then help free up the strain on California's budget and get them out of the red.
They say that Global Warming effects other stuff, like more severe storms and such. That's too bad, if you live in areas effected by hurricanes and rising sea-levels, which I don't. So bring it on baby! I mean, we have tornadoes occasionally, but not like they do in Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, or Iowa. Plus, that's only really a concern if you live in a trailer, as we all know those things are magnets for tornadoes. I live in a mostly brick house, so huff & puff away Mr. Wolf!
Supposedly, Global Warming has already caused the temperature to rise a little. I haven't noticed. In fact, this summer has been cooler than most, and last winter was just as cold as ever. Maybe it's just been warmer around Al Gore's house. He seems the only one running around with the "THE END IS NEAR" signs right now. I bet he lives on the coast....below sea level.....in a trailer.
I really don't trust him anyway. He's the same guy who claimed he "won" the popular election for the Presidency. Well, the Supreme Court called his bluff on that. I'm gonna call his bluff on the Global Warming thing, but I'll still recycle.
That's too bad though, I wish he was right. I think my area could use a little warming up. He should have made that his campaign promise, "Vote for Me! I'll CAUSE Global Warming!".....I would have voted for him.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I am Seriously hardly ever Serious.........Seriously!
I spend most of my awake hours, which is about 21 each day, in a constant state of jest. It's how I make it though life. Everything is funny to me. If it's not, then I make it so. Maybe I am just walking around in a sleep deprived drunken state. Kind of like when an aged boxer is said to be "punch drunk", except mine doesn't come from being hit too much in the head. It's from my head not hitting the pillow enough.
Truth be told, rarely do I say anything I mean seriously. Usually, I will say or do things purely for the reaction they get. I form of SHOCK comedy, if you will. Not that I want attention. That's not it in the least. I mainly just want to make other people happy, smile, and feel good. Just so happens that I might sometimes have to make fun of them to achieve that.
See, when I can make someone else forget about their problems and stop taking everything so seriously, even if it's just temporarily, that's when I feel good. I get enjoyment from other peoples enjoyment. It's the same reason I will forward a funny e-mail. Just to know that I brought a smile or chuckle to someone who was so tightly wrapped in their own world and issues, that makes my day. The more messed up they are, the better their laughing makes me feel. "Laugh, you little homeless one-legged midget orphan, Laugh!" Brah, Ha, ha!
Granted, I may have issues myself. I have been called mean, a smarta**, insensitive, a jerk, and many other fitting names. However, the way I see it, just because your grandma died, that doesn't mean you can't laugh. Okay, maybe positioning her hand to give the casket viewers the finger was a little in poor taste. But, seeing your mom shoot water out of her nose when she saw her dead mom flying the bird, that was priceless. Nah, I didn't really do that, but I would. Let me know when the old hag croaks, I'll be there with my bag of tricks to liven the party.
See, laughing is serious business. It can ease tension, alleviate stress, soften pain, and just feels good. Unless its with a broken rib or right after open-heart surgery, then you should keep it to a chuckle. So much of life sucks though, I say you shouldn't prevent yourself from laughing at it. Friend losses job in the current economy, call and ask them to come mow your yard since they have so much time on their hands. Kid gets the chicken pox, throw a slumber party and just consider it neighborhood immunizationing (like that?I just made up another word). Attending a funeral, mention this little nugget to all your fellow attendees, "Well, it sucks they're gone, but at least now I don't have to pay back that loan they gave me, so that's kind of awesome."
The Bible says, "Who among you can add a single day to your life by worrying?" Summarized nicely by Bobby McFerrin, "Don't Worry, Be happy" Of course, Bobby's idea probably involved the burning of a little green plant rolled in paper.
Truth be told, rarely do I say anything I mean seriously. Usually, I will say or do things purely for the reaction they get. I form of SHOCK comedy, if you will. Not that I want attention. That's not it in the least. I mainly just want to make other people happy, smile, and feel good. Just so happens that I might sometimes have to make fun of them to achieve that.
See, when I can make someone else forget about their problems and stop taking everything so seriously, even if it's just temporarily, that's when I feel good. I get enjoyment from other peoples enjoyment. It's the same reason I will forward a funny e-mail. Just to know that I brought a smile or chuckle to someone who was so tightly wrapped in their own world and issues, that makes my day. The more messed up they are, the better their laughing makes me feel. "Laugh, you little homeless one-legged midget orphan, Laugh!" Brah, Ha, ha!
Granted, I may have issues myself. I have been called mean, a smarta**, insensitive, a jerk, and many other fitting names. However, the way I see it, just because your grandma died, that doesn't mean you can't laugh. Okay, maybe positioning her hand to give the casket viewers the finger was a little in poor taste. But, seeing your mom shoot water out of her nose when she saw her dead mom flying the bird, that was priceless. Nah, I didn't really do that, but I would. Let me know when the old hag croaks, I'll be there with my bag of tricks to liven the party.
See, laughing is serious business. It can ease tension, alleviate stress, soften pain, and just feels good. Unless its with a broken rib or right after open-heart surgery, then you should keep it to a chuckle. So much of life sucks though, I say you shouldn't prevent yourself from laughing at it. Friend losses job in the current economy, call and ask them to come mow your yard since they have so much time on their hands. Kid gets the chicken pox, throw a slumber party and just consider it neighborhood immunizationing (like that?I just made up another word). Attending a funeral, mention this little nugget to all your fellow attendees, "Well, it sucks they're gone, but at least now I don't have to pay back that loan they gave me, so that's kind of awesome."
The Bible says, "Who among you can add a single day to your life by worrying?" Summarized nicely by Bobby McFerrin, "Don't Worry, Be happy" Of course, Bobby's idea probably involved the burning of a little green plant rolled in paper.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Happy Comic says, "Don't be a Hater!"
I have heard recently that some of my posts were too mean or dark. I'm now offering to change my type color to yellow and surround it by smileys :)
I haven't purposely set out to be negative, mean, or dark. Sometimes, it's just the nature of my humor. Actually, I don't set out to be anything. I'm like the "thought" gate keeper. I will occasionally open the gates. Whatever flows out, so be it. Hopefully its amusing.
If you remember, I never promised to be cheery all the time, or even funny for that matter. Some people enjoy mean humor. Yes, they may be sick individuals, but individuals nonetheless. They need a laugh too, even if it is at someone else's expense.....Expense........WOW!.....That's it!....They want their type of humor free! They are comedy cheapskates!
I prefer to to let my thoughts flow uncensored. Kind of like a movie for "kids". We all know it's sold to kids, but has more jokes in it for the adults watching. Okay, maybe that's a bad example. Heck, that doesn't even make sense!... Similes and Metaphors are not my strong suit. I'm not really sure what is.... Maybe Advance Algorithmic Geometry.... Is that even a subject? I think I just made that up.
I wonder if Picasso had people telling him he couldn't put noses on upside-down or give a women 3 breasts. Like him, not a lot of people get me. Not that I am comparing myself to an artist like Picasso. I don't even paint. Unless the finger-kind counts. And I've never even seen a women with 3 breasts, although I probably wouldn't look away if I did :)
If I were to compare myself to an artist, it would probably be Van Gogh, cause he's my favorite. Like him, my stuff gets kind of fuzzy.....the lines are blurry. Unlike him, nobody wants my stuff. And I have both my ears.
Anyway, if you don't find my humor funny, that's okay. Sometimes I don't either.
Question: Is it still humor if nobody thinks it's funny? Answer: Probably.
Maybe it's not good humor. Maybe the right person just hasn't read it yet. Maybe they have and were laughing too hard to comment. Or, maybe the people who didn't laugh just suck. Either way, there's too many variables.
I haven't purposely set out to be negative, mean, or dark. Sometimes, it's just the nature of my humor. Actually, I don't set out to be anything. I'm like the "thought" gate keeper. I will occasionally open the gates. Whatever flows out, so be it. Hopefully its amusing.
If you remember, I never promised to be cheery all the time, or even funny for that matter. Some people enjoy mean humor. Yes, they may be sick individuals, but individuals nonetheless. They need a laugh too, even if it is at someone else's expense.....Expense........WOW!.....That's it!....They want their type of humor free! They are comedy cheapskates!
I prefer to to let my thoughts flow uncensored. Kind of like a movie for "kids". We all know it's sold to kids, but has more jokes in it for the adults watching. Okay, maybe that's a bad example. Heck, that doesn't even make sense!... Similes and Metaphors are not my strong suit. I'm not really sure what is.... Maybe Advance Algorithmic Geometry.... Is that even a subject? I think I just made that up.
I wonder if Picasso had people telling him he couldn't put noses on upside-down or give a women 3 breasts. Like him, not a lot of people get me. Not that I am comparing myself to an artist like Picasso. I don't even paint. Unless the finger-kind counts. And I've never even seen a women with 3 breasts, although I probably wouldn't look away if I did :)
If I were to compare myself to an artist, it would probably be Van Gogh, cause he's my favorite. Like him, my stuff gets kind of fuzzy.....the lines are blurry. Unlike him, nobody wants my stuff. And I have both my ears.
Anyway, if you don't find my humor funny, that's okay. Sometimes I don't either.
Question: Is it still humor if nobody thinks it's funny? Answer: Probably.
Maybe it's not good humor. Maybe the right person just hasn't read it yet. Maybe they have and were laughing too hard to comment. Or, maybe the people who didn't laugh just suck. Either way, there's too many variables.
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