Monday, April 11, 2011

Hire A Better Lookout.

I have an embarrassing story.

The level of funny you find in it, will be directly proportional and opposite to the level of disgust you find in it.

I was in the drive-up at Culver's Frozen Custard the other day.

The gave me my drink, a number placard to hang on my window, and asked me to pull up till the girl brought my food up.

Just like they always do.

I pulled up behind another car that was waiting for their food.

I see the little girl come out with the food for the car in front of me.

But also at that moment, I coughed up some thick nasty leftover of the cold I am recovering from.

I thought, “I can't hawk it out the window in front of this chic.”

I decide I will wait until she heads back in and spit it after she passes back by, so she won't see it or have to step over it.

She passes by, and I shot it out my window.

Only to catch sight in my peripheral vision of the SECOND girl bringing my food out.

TWO?!?! WTF?!?! They've never had TWO food runners BEFORE.

Immediately, I was like “Awe, crap.”

I just shot a neon green loogie out my window right in front of this kid.

But then I thought, “It was quick. Maybe she didn't see it.”

Judging by the disgusted look on her face......AND the 10 foot distance she kept from my car window while stretch-reaching me my food.......she probably did.

Maybe.

Oh well. That's what she gets for being second place.

What's that old saying? “Second place is first loser.”?

Or would that be “Loogier”?

9 comments:

Jewels said...

I am cringing here but only because my father does this all the freaking time while driving and has occasionally caught a motorcyclist or passing car with an open window unawares. Yuck. That being said, you're sick and you can't re-swallow that shit...you have no choice but to spit it out. Yuck yuck yuck though.

Momma Fargo said...

A girl views loogies as the boogie man...we run...we cringe...we hurl...we gag. A little like something else...we run from when it gets shot out. Did I say that? Oy.

Busted Kate said...

I have yet to manage the loogie spit. Is this a male thing? Or am I just missing some gene or something? You should give lessons.

Greg said...

Apparently the wind wasn't blowing in her direction, otherwise it could have been even more embarrassing.

Coffeypot said...

Fuck her, you won't ever see her again. If you do, say, "Hey! Remember me? Loogie Man?"

The Blue Zoo said...

You better hope she doesnt spit in your food next time. LMAO!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Aaaaand, there goes my chocolate craving, THANKS DUDE! :) Haha. Gross.

Mystic Diva said...

this is kinda weird...

Mystic Diva
something THEY call life

BlackLOG said...

I once saw someone attempt a loogie clearance on a ship, only they didn't take into account the wind direction....Think Alien, but a couple of scenes before the famous bursting forth from John Hurts stomach….

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