Monday, March 21, 2011

Some girls are looking for Mr. Right, while others are looking for Mr. Next.

*This was originally an idea for a stand-up bit. I figured it might play good to the college aged crowd that frequents the comedy club*


I recently watched that movie starring Emma Stone called "Easy A".

There's this girl who lies about sleeping with all these guys in order to IMPROVE her reputation.

Basically, she says she has slept with all these guys when she really hasn't.

Talk about role reversal. Saying you've slept with more people than you have in order to make yourself look good? That's something guys do.

In fact, I'm not even sure it works to improve your reputation unless you ARE A GUY.

Don't get me wrong, we all know girls lie about it.

But it's usually in order to DECREASE the number of guys they have slept with.

Right guys? What's that old rule we all learn when we're younger?

"However many guys a girl says she has slept with, times that number by 2, and add 10 to get the real number."

And if she refuses to discuss how many lovers she has had, it really means that she's either had so many she can't remember, or she sucks at Math and can't do the above problem in reverse before telling you.

So...how do you tell which one of those two possibilities it is?

Well guys, if your girl has so many notches in her bedpost that she's practically sleeping in a hammock....then its probably the first one.

If she has so many notches in her belt that she's basically holding up her pants with window screen...then its probably the first one.

Of course.....she IS a girl, so the Math one is a real possibility too.

Regardless, whatever the number, try not to judge her. Everybody has made mistakes.

And her propensity for making mistakes might just play in your favor.

13 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

The thing is, in 'Easy A' she finds out pretty fast that it has the opposite effect because boys obviously want her for one reason and girls think she's the biggest slut and her reputation is shredded. I have to admit though that movie made me laugh. And fuck, double standards suck. It's a little unfair guys are applauded for putting it around while girls are sluts.

Also, girls and guys probably sleep around equally. I don't know any girl who's slept with nearly as many people as you seem to think there, perv. :)

The Blue Zoo said...

Well, holy hell. No wonder my husbands eyes nearly popped out of his head when I told him my number. I actually told him the real number. Which if you follow your formula would seem like a lot.

I actually liked that movie too. It wasnt the best movie ever made, but I liked it.

Kage said...

i liked that movie too.

and i just tell a guy not to ask, and that i don't want to know his number either. all you're gonna do is judge each other, what's the point?

i'm curious to hear how this goes down with the college crowd...:)

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

My number is 1. And do NOT believe what the other 50 ex-boyfriends or dudes at the bar say. They are all liars...

Bitchzilla On the Loose said...

Kage- college crowd?? You've got no idea how's its in college.


lol. in highschool too you can hear "my score's 20 dude, next friday, i am gonna make it 21"

:P :)


Bitchzilla on The loose.

Sex'n'Fries said...

Great stuff and we stole stuff thanks

Pat said...

Unfortunately, my number isn't very high. But I like the idea of blaming it on math because I DO consider math to be a four-letter word, if you get my drift!

Alex said...

Ha. That is all. And my husband can continue to live in fantasy land.

Momma Fargo said...

I heard that you can erase all the ones before 40 and start over again...

Something for you young whipper snappers to look forward to.

Trooper Thorn said...

You want a girl with some experience. That's why the whole "79 virgins" thing wouldn't appeal to me at all.

The Offended Blogger said...

I told the hubs that practice made perfect and he agrees. :)

Christina_the_wench said...

SHHHH! I am counting.

("one, two, three, forty, forty one, ...")

Mike said...

As long as you can still scrape wall you're all good.

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