Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Just One Of Those Days....Perfect For Dying

Coworker: “Are you having as busy a day as I am?”
Me: “I’m having one of those days where there’s just not enough ammo in the clip.”
Coworker: “This day is so busy, I wish someone would just come in and kill me.”
Me: “I’m so busy, I’m ready to shoot myself in the face.”
Coworker: “I’m even more busy, so I’m going to slit my wrists with a paperclip and end it.”
Me: “I’m the busiest, which is why I keep an emergency cyanide capsule in my desk, just like a spy, for days like this.”
Coworker: “I’m ready to walk out in front of a semi.”
Me:I’m ready for a rabid chimpanzee to tear my face off.”
Coworker: “I’m not sure that would do the trick.”
Me: “But afterwards, he would leave me lying faceless and bloody in the Lions cage at feeding time.”
Coworker: “…..”
Me: “And after a couple of hours, the zoo keeper would take whatever was left and run it through a wood chipper.”
Coworker: “That might do it.”
Me: “AND THEN spread THAT in the shark tank.”
Coworker: “You win.”
Me: “YES! I win at dying!”

16 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

The chimpanzee thing will actually get you face time on Oprah.

Well..non-face time.

Busted Kate said...

You know death is a very very serious topic and you really shouldn't joke about it....


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm just kidding, go ahead and shoot yourself!

Jewels said...

hey if you are gonna do it-do it right. Moooooog is right-Oprah loves chimp attack survivors--too bad you don't intend on surviving.

BlackLOG said...

I'm not sure that you did win at the dying game. Your co-work seemed to start dying part way through your conversation when you started slaughtering him….

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Dude. NO ONE wins at dying. *Serious face*

The chimp thing, however, sounds like an interesting experiment...

Kage said...

dude, i totally thought your co-worker had you beat, until you had your wood-chipped remains spread through the shark tank.

PBJdreamer said...

YES you win

heee

make sure to vlog it up on here

write your obit in advance..

I had more to say, but I am so busy here that........

that is all

Miss Yvonne said...

Hey, everyone should be a winner at something, right?

JG said...

Before you decide to shoot yourself, remember to include me in your will.

Coffeypot said...

My tax dollars at work. I'm so proud. Why I would kill both of you for wasting my money. Then put your bodies in an acid tank.

Momma Fargo said...

I think Coffeypot has the answer, government cheese. :) Hope you weren't wasting any more of our time and money on your personal email, gchat, phone, or daydreaming...

Famous words...
Two things are certain...taxes and dying.

Matty said...

I've had a few days like these.

Tiffany said...

i think you might need a therapist. or, an addiction. either will do.

Trooper Thorn said...

You're never too busy to punch someone in the heart.

WhisperingWriter said...

Congrats on winning at dying ;)

Fickle Cattle said...

Hey, because if you can't win at dying, why try at all right?

ficklecattle.blogspot.com

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