Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Dear God,
       Please don't let me suck.

(Ironic. I used that same prayer daily back in prison.)

Today is the day!

And I’m already sweating bullets.

Not because I am nervous I’ll forget my material.

I might. I mean, I have run through it so many times that I know it better than Russell Brand knows Katy Perry’s naughty bits (which is almost as well as Elmo does.)

But stage fright can be a sneaky devil.


What I’m most worried about is the material itself.

I’m worried it won’t be funny enough.

I always hate the stuff I write. It never seems funny to me.

Plus, since I hate rehashing things over and over, just like I hate eating leftovers (fresh is best), the material is basically dead to me at this point.

Regardless, stand-up is all in the delivery.

You could be serving up hot turd stew, but as long as you nail the delivery, people will eat it with a smile on their faces.

If all else fails, it’s only three minutes.

Here’s hoping that my three minutes aren’t pure hell, and that the crowd eats my turds.

P.S. If you plan on attending (PLEASE DO!), the show starts at 830pm. I’m up 3rd. You do need to call for reservations AND mention my name, if you want the discounted price.

P.P.S. For those in Blogland not able to attend, I will try to have it recorded to post here ASAP. Also, I plan on some serious anxiety tweeting.

P.P.S.S. For those on Facebook, most of you live close, so you have no excuse for not attending.


Travis said...

I like that even in your nervousness, you can stay topical.

Did you see that shirt she had on when she was on SNL?


I jizzed in my pants.

otherworldlyone said...

Break a leg, dude.

Is that appropriate? I'm not really sure. Either way, fingers crossed for you. I can't wait to hear how it goes!

Brutalism said...

Have fun and go out there and kill. (Though not literally...that is not funny at all.)

Beta Dad said...

Uggh...makes me nervous just to read about your impending debut. Not that YOU should be nervous. You'll kill. I know it. But if it were me, I would be having panic shits all day. But you shouldn't. Because you'll kill! Break a leg!

Miss Yvonne said...

Good luck! Can't wait to hear the recording...

Mrsblogalot said...

Go get 'em!!!! You're going to be great!

Get that video recorder ready!!

Pat said...

Knock 'em dead, kid!

Coffeypot said...

I guess you three minutes are over by now. You still wanna do stand up now?

BeckEye said...

Don't eat anything beforehand. Better to dry heave than yak on the audience.

Dorn said...

Well it looks like it's over now. Hopefully you survived. Scratch that. Hopefully you killed it. (That's a good thing in this context)

Matty said...

It's all in the delivery. Break a leg.


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