Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I DID IT! I'm Officially A Standup Comic.


Folks, I rarely get nervous.

Like EVER!

My wife even said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you nervous before.”

But after I found out yesterday that my mom wasn’t well enough to attend the show, I started worrying.

She was my inspiration for trying this. Of course, I had always thought about and wanted to try it, but when mom found out she had cancer, that’s when I decided that there was no time like the present. She had always been there to support and encourage me in everything I’ve done, and I wanted to do this while she was able to see it. My whole bit was in tribute to my mom.

Basically, I was....going to.....bust on her for having cancer.

I know that sounds cruel, but you’d have to know my mom. She is where I get my sick & twisted sense of humor and wit from.

It’s just how we deal with the uncomfortable----we poke it with a stick.

And after focusing all my efforts on getting my routine delivery just right, the idea of writing new stuff at the last minute scared the crap out of me.

If it hadn’t been for you folks supporting and counting on me, I probably would have backed out at that point.

Big props to Mr. Travis Sloat.

I text/gchatted him at my moment of utmost panic, and explained to him my dilemma. He, being the more experienced standup comic (by two shows), told me not to freak. He reminded me that it was ONLY 3 minutes. He also offered me tips on how to save my material, and even gave me a new opening (DUDE, I totally blew that delivery. So that line bombed. But it was still a good line.)

After reworking my bit, I started cramming the material and polishing the delivery. By the time we left early for Indy, I was feeling pretty confident.

630pm We arrived in Indy. I wasn’t due to check in until 745, or 730 at the earliest. So the wife and I grabbed dinner at MCL (aka. The Land Of The Walking Dead). However, this MCL was populated by college kids and area rich people. And the food and service was AWESOME!

715pm We headed to the club. Seeing how we were still early, we walked around Broad Ripple village, which is near Butler University. Go BULLDOGS!!! (They ALMOST beat Travis’ DUKE in the Finals of the NCAAs last year)
The village is like any other college “village”. Lot’s of clubs and bars and shops.

Except this one had an over abundance of smoke shacks, record stores, and shoe repair places.

HOW do these places stay in business? I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a fleet of chain-smoking & barefoot college DJ’s running around Butler.

Seriously, shoe repair? The wife pointed out that new shoes would be cheaper than getting old ones repaired, and that shoes nowadays aren’t even REAL shoes that you WOULD repair.

I think they should just call it what it is….a GLUE STORE.

It’s not like there’s a bunch of midget cobblers inside hammering away on some Jordans.

730pm We hit the club and my heart instantly starts racing. I check in and wait.

745pm The preshow meeting starts and I’m still not even sure if I’ll get to perform, since I have no idea about my 5 required guests. But I meet some of the other comedians and that’s cool and somewhat calming. Comedians are GREAT people, even if they seem like a dick onstage. The Club people go through the rules (Red warning light when you have 1 minute left & which you must acknowledge with a point or a nod, white light when you are out of time & don’t you dare start a new joke, and lastly no EFF bombs). Afterwards, everybody pulls out their notes and starts going over their material one last time.

800pm The crowd is let in. About 100 people. Mostly college kids. Then music starts pumping, which is supposed to fire up the crowd.

815pm They tell everybody to grab a slip of paper and write their intro for the MC Comic.

WHAT?!! I had no idea there would be a written portion of the test! I was so unprepared.

I asked the MC what kind of stuff he wanted. Just my name---thinking he would use his talents around that? Or should we come up with our own blurb? He said name was important, but it was also to set the crowd up FOR me. Basically, to get them excited and give them some idea of what to expect FROM me.

I chewed on that for awhile. I thought of how I was about to make fun of my cancer-stricken mother who wasn’t even there. I wrote something short and quick, which later came out of the MC’s mouth like this:

"This next comic is a humor blogger turn standup comic. He describes himself as a life-long smartass and all around dick. Give it up for Ed Adams."

820pm We get the final set list. I have been moved from 3rd to 1st. FML.

The original list set list had about 17 comics, of which I was 3rd. AND one of 5 new comics.

The final set list had 11. No show-ers and non-performers, I hated you at that point. I had been moved to 1st. And NOW, the only new comics were me and some deaf guy. He went next to last.

If I knew how to sign, I would have orchestrated a trade.

825pm Wife texts me. “Should I try to record?” Crap, I was planning on having her record with her phone while getting the good camera from her before the show to ask another comedian to record for me, since you were only allowed to record from the comedians area. I replied, “Sure. Fuck’em.” She sent back, “I’m not sure I want to do THAT. I’m also not pulling out the big camera. Let me use your phone.” So after locating her seat, I passed her my phone on the way to the staging area.

830pm Show starts.

To be continue…. :)


Pat said...

OMG, my heart was beating SO FAST, like I was right next to you going through this! You've got cahones the size of Texas, man! And I didn't even hear that from your wife! I'm sure you killed them! Can't wait to read part 2!

Yankee Girl said...

Holy BALLS! This is amazing! What a trip that must have been!

Mrsblogalot said...

I'm out of breath reading that! Wow!

Anonymous said...

Cant wait to hear the rest!!

Trooper Thorn said...

Way to go! I do amateur stand up too and it's the most fun thing ever!

Momma Fargo said...

So far sounds exciting. Not real funny to leave us in a cliffhanger tho...just sayin.' Some of us work nights and sleep days. How are we supposed to cope?

Coffeypot said...

Damn, dude. You know I hate foreplay. Get on with the show.

WhisperingWriter said...

Wait, you can't keep us waiting like that!!

Matty said...

A teaser post? You sly devil. Atta boy Ed. Keep em coming back for more.

The Queen said...

WTF!!!! the rest of the story dude!!!

Barb said...

Dude! I'm with the rest of them! Give it up! We NEED to know the rest of the story!
PS. don't forget that you know me when you're rich and famous. We did spend one fabulous night together! (along with Travis, his wife, Kid Rock (or something) Coffeypot, Rxbambi and Ducky):)

Barb said...

Dude! I'm with the rest of them! Give it up! We NEED to know the rest of the story!
PS. don't forget that you know me when you're rich and famous. We did spend one fabulous night together! (along with Travis, his wife, Kid Rock (or something) Coffeypot, Rxbambi and Ducky):)

Brittany said...

New to your blog..

and I really want to read the rest of this!

You better believe i'll be sticking around! :))


carissajade said...

Dude... I could totally relate. I still get a little nervous before I perform, not gonna lie... and ive been doing this shit for over 5 yrs. But I remember that first time. The hot sweats.

I'm sooo proud of you though! I cannot wait to hear about the rest!

kate said...

I'm sorry, but it's seriously badass of you to show up in the first place (unlike the pussies that no-showed). I would've been hyperventalating in a corner. said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Can't wait to hear the rest!

otherworldlyone said...

What?! NO, damn it! Get back here with the rest of the story!

P.S. - I think it's wonderful that your mom and you have that sort of relationship.


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