Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Blind People Are Getting Screwed!

Wife: “Can you get this in there?”
Me: “I can try.”
Me: “I don’t think it fits.”
Wife: “Do you need a bigger one?”
Me: “NO! It’s already too big for the hole. If anything, I need a smaller one.”
Wife: “Are you sure you’re putting it in the right hole?”
Me: “I’ve done this enough, I think I know which one it goes in.”
Wife: “Can’t you get it in the hole?”
Me: “I’m trying, DAMNIT! This might be easier if there was some hair around the hole.”
Wife: “Har Har. Just let me do it.” *reaches*
Me: “Do NOT touch my tool! I am DOING this!”
Wife: “Can I at least help you?”
Me: “Fine. You pull this out and hold it, while I screw it in.”
Me: “Hold it! Hold it! It’s almost in!”
Me: “THERE!”
Wife: “You did it! Good job honey!”

We had that conversation while trying to fix the 2 yr olds glasses.


That particular time it was replacing a missing screw that holds the springy side earpiece on.

It’s always something. Both my 2 & 6 yr old have glasses. One pair gets broken in some sort at least once a week. The people at the eyeglasses place know us on a first name basis (probably a few choice names behind our back too.)

My kids don’t play rough or any rougher than other kids their age.

We have always been good about making sure glasses are put up when taken off, or taking them off before certain play activities that don’t require eyesight and which might damage them.

We also pay extra for the extra protection and the extra bendy unbreakable glasses/frames. (Which HAS to be a racket. The freaking technician guy broke a pair while showing us how unbreakable they were. “These frames are so flexible, they won’t break even if they do this…*break*…ooops. Never seen them do that before.”)

Still, my kids find a way to destroy the invincible, it seems.

This current time, there was no home repairing.

So, I took them to the place on my lunch hour today.

As I walk up with broken glasses in hand, I see a sign on the door that says, “Our Office Is Closed for Lunch. We will reopen at 2:20”.



WTF eye doctor?

Who takes lunch at that time? Why come back at 2:20? Hell, why even come back at all, at that point in the day.

But twenty minutes after two? Seriously? Not 2:15? Or 2:30?

I’m guessing this was based on appt times or something. Oh well, I’ll just drop them off after work.

I hope I can make it there before they close at 6:13pm.


Matty said...

I had a pretty good idea reading this, that it had nothing to do with the obvious. My problem with glasses isn't breaking them, it's sitting on them. Or better yet, looking for them while they're sitting on top of my head.

And that's not very good customer service when you close your store when people might want to come in.

Kimi said...

It's true. It totally blows to be blind!

SurferWife said...

You really should have just ended this blog after the conversation with your wife and let us try to figure out what was going on.

Clearly we knew what was not going on when you were claiming it was 'too big' you know?

Kimi said...

Except...that when I take my glasses off at night I can totally convince myself I look like a supermodel. It's like having a few drinks at the bar. Everyone gets prettier.

Momma Fargo said...

LMAO. Knew you were on a roll with something other than the obvious. Funny.

justsomethoughts... said...

i have no vested interest
only that i have gotten many a pair from them and any issues are resolved in short order


Brutalism said...

This post title has the same title as one of my favorite adult movies.

What are the chances?

dbs said...

I absolutely hate those signs "Be back at whatever." Just add an extra 15 minutes every time. Bastards.

Coffeypot said...

I knew it wasn't the obvious, too. Not from you. But I have that conversation all the time. The only difference is I let her help me put it in.

Anonymous said...

I was gonna write pretty much the exact same thing SurferWife wrote. lol

WhisperingWriter said...

The Eye Office has the same hours as some military buildings. It's so frustrating to walk in and see the sign saying that they are gone for lunch...and it's after 2. It's like, "How long are they taking lunch for?"

carissajaded said...

Wil you take mine in too? I sat on my glasses about 4 months ago and am too lazy to get them fixed. Now I'm just blind. and always confusing holes.

ScoMan said...

I've never seen anyone close at 2:20 but I've seen plenty of places close at 4:20.. BOOM!

Annabelle said...

2:20 definitely qualifies as Linner.

Erin said...

Both my hubs and I wear contacts/glasses, so we're keeping a close eye (pun intended) on the kids...I'm sure both of them will eventually require correction. And I'm dreading it. My little brother was always breaking his, although I was pretty good with mine.

On another note---lunch ending at 2:20? wtf? and even more, not fair that they're closed at lunch period when that's the only time some people can get there. can't they lunch in shifts? sheesh!

JennyMac said...

HAHAHAHA...and more laughter reading SurferWife's comment.

And I am going to a party Friday that listed the start time as 7:49 pm. I think it must be your Eye Doc.

Miss Yvonne said...

Those dang eyeglass screws. So tiny and non-hairy.

Pat said...

It's a racket all right. And what can you do? You need to see, right?

hiphophippie.com said...

Being blind is the worst. Well, I guess barfing is the worst, but being blind is second. And annoying doctors' hours are right up there.


once i read this line:

Me: “NO! It’s already too big for the hole. If anything, I need a smaller one.”

i knew you weren't referring to fornication. at least not any that you were participating in.

Boonsong said...

At least you didn't make a spectacle of yourself.
Thanks for an amusing post.

All the best, Boonsong

Tiffany said...

"activities that don't involve eyesight"...i'm looking for a job that doesn't involve eyesight *or* consciousness. can you get paid for sleeping?

or work from 10:12 to 11: 46?

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

So it's obvious that convo between you and the wife was not about anything pervy...but after all that hanky panky talk I am sure you tried to score shortly afterwards.

My oldest broke his glasses about 3 months ago. We had a Super Target in Denver. No such thing as a Super Target here in nowheresville so we are pretty much screwed.

Thanks for reminding me to set up an eye appt for him though!

Anonymous said...

Your eyedoctor is clearly adhering to the european union rule that a siesta comes after the food.
Ohhh, those must be your kids I see running around the playground and smashing into the swing set. Let them wear their glasses.

Kate@AndThenIWasaMom.com said...

I don't know...there's something to be said about extreme precision.

I'm forwarding this post to my dentist, doctor, and hairdresser. That'll show 'em.

Alex said...

Don't the cool kids parents just use white tape to repair glasses? That's what my parents always did.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I have no comment. Just wanted to let you know I was here. I went to the doctor to get him to try to fix my lameness, but they were closed.


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