Tuesday, July 6, 2010

What Is It With Screamers?

What is it with screamers?

Okay

I know what you’re thinking, because I am thinking it too, but this post is not about people who are noisy dance partners while doing the horizontal mambo.

No matter how much we wish it was.

No, I am talking about those people that insist on yelling or screaming stuff from their car as they drive by you.

You could be on a bike, or walking, or maybe just standing peacefully in your yard.

Maybe you’re watering the flowers.

Maybe you’re watering the neighbor’s flowers.

Maybe you’re watering the neighbor's flowers with your piss.

The details are trivial.

My point is, if yelling stuff from a moving vehicle is the only way those people can find courage, what happens when they’re in the woods on foot and see a bear?

Do they sit down and pretend to be driving while they yell obscenities at the bear?

Do they run away quietly because they’re out of their courageous element?

I understand that it makes them feel a sense of freedom to yell curse words out their window and not have to be there to face the consequences of their actions.

Or maybe they do it to try and startle you.

Like “Fuck You!” is the NEW “Booo!”

And you don’t hear the sound of their car, because cars are sneaky.

I’m just saying that they could at least slow down if they want to be heard clearly.

Driving by at 40 mph while yelling “FUCK YOU!” only makes them sound retarded.

All the person they’re yelling at hears is “…uuuUUUUUuuuuucc…” which we can all agree is just missing the drool on the shirt and a padded helmet from earning them a ticket to ride the short bus.

16 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

My theory is they had a brain accident or deficiency in infancy and their humour only developed far enough to find yelling random things funny. Which as you and I know, is actually only funny if yelled by someone who looks really professional but who has that rare form of Tourette's that makes you swear. SHIT ON YOUR PISS! FUCK! FUCKTITS!

That kind of thing.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

P.S. I'm surprised and impressed you actually KNOW about the other kind of screamer.

Oh snap!

hiphophippie.com said...

Those people totally piss me off. I hope one time when that happens I randomly have an egg in my hand that I huck at them and get them squarely in the forehead. Unlikely yes, but a girl can dream.

June said...

Wasn't me!

But I might have a few words for you if you was pissing in my flowerbed!

SurferWife said...

I just got in my car and drove by this blog yelling obscenities.

Did you hear them?

Coffeypot said...

Turn the waterhose, or you dick, on them.

The Blue Zoo said...

maybe you should just stop pissing off random people.... ?? Just a thought.

Coffeypot said...

I really hate the screamers when I hear them yell, 'That's it? That's all you have? AND YOU ARE THROUGH?' It's tough man.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Maybe they are warning you of something over head a nice caution to look out. -Or- do you have a nice statue of a goose they could be confusing WITH a DUCK?? I'm just saying, people are fundamentally good right??!!! (cough)...

ScoMan said...

I used to be one of those people that yelled random shit from moving vehicles.. mostly just to confuse people.

Stuff like "You're not my real dad!"

But then I'm a coward, and that's obvious.

Mrsblogalot said...

Remember cars that had built in ashtrays?

Nothing like emptying out a full ashtray at 65 mph into someones open window.

Something's are more effective than screaming.

Don'tcha think?

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

Sounds like a horny bastard to me.

Pat said...

Did you ever see a correlation to the people yelling at you and YOUR DRIVING SKILLS? Just saying.....

Daffy said...

There is a reason I keep a tray full of pennies in my car.

Some people just aren't so good at listening.

JennyMac said...

one more reason you are hilarious:

Maybe you’re watering the neighbor's flowers with your piss.

The details are trivial.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

You didn't see my license tags did you?

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