Thursday, July 8, 2010

Late Night TV Can Make Your Penis Bigger!

So, I’m watching TV the other night and one of those “natural male enhancement” commercials comes one.

At first, I was like… "Where’s that dude that’s always smiling?"

You know, Smiling Bob.

He’s that guy that’s always smiling and getting woman to sit on his lap.

Turns out, that’s Enzyte.

Enzyte is being sued for 2.5 million dollars for saying they could cue erectile dysfunction.

Bob’s not smiling anymore.

No…

This commercial was for Extenze.

The OTHER company with “enz” in its name that sells snakeoil natural male enhancement.

Their commercials talk more about making men “bigger”, and often feature couples with the guy saying, “It made me bigger!”, and the woman saying, “He’s bigger!”

It’s implied by their lack of using midget couples that they are not talking about height. Unless they are all midget couples and the shit works REALLY good.

Congrats buddy! You’re on national television telling everybody you have a tiny penis.

Entenze also likes to point out how they have sold “over a billion capsules”, like it’s cheeseburgers at McDonald’s or something.

But that’s not the best part.

Now they have Extenze for WOMEN!!!

WTF!

If you have something down there that you want to extenze, you’re probably not a woman.

If you are a women, you really shouldn’t be trying to make things “bigger” down there. Especially, if your man is in need of Extenze.

That’s just counterproductive.

(Update: Now they even sell a liquid Extenze energy formula. Like a Viagra+5hr Energy Drink cocktail. Guess Extense makes you so big that you need an extra energy boost to whip it out at the urinal.)

11 comments:

Matty said...

Bottom line is.....Sex sells.

Coffeypot said...

I'm already so big that if I get fully extended, it takes so much blood drained from my head that I get dizzy and pass out. I don’t need the stuff. I need blood transfusions before sex.

kate said...

There's some comercial that they play on the radio around here all of the time that's all "hey, guys, it's not the length that matters, it's the size! Women like men who are thick and girthy!" and all I can think is "what if it's only, like, an inch and a half long? It doesn't do me any good if it's as thick as a telephone pole if it's still just a stubby little thing..."

Hillbilly Duhn said...

LOL@Kate

Oh my goodness, I forgot what I was going to say... One, hey like the new look!

You know, I don't think it would be wise to extend anything down there. Guy or Gal. Simply find a partner that fits. That's why sluts do it - right??? Try on partners?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

This makes the real meaning of the saying "Just the tip" make sense. Because if you just have a tip, you clearly need Extenz, tiny cock.

And by "you" I DEFINITELY mean you.

Your wife told me.

The Blue Zoo said...

LOL That totally reminds me of something...... My dad didnt get what Smiling Bob was actually smiling about. He didnt pay enough attention to the commercial I guess. And he told several people that he needed the medicine that was making Smiling Bob so happy.

I actually had to explain WHY Bob was so happy now! LOL And that he basically had been telling people that his penis wasnt working right!

yourwife said...

The Vegetable Assassin is a liar. I don't talk to her. I also am getting tired of her references to your anatomy in her attempts to be funny. A line has been crossed. *This is me marking my bitch territory*

Mrsblogalot said...

LOL! ...counterproductive!

One day someone is going to take a combination of all the wrong pills come up with a whole new breed of mutant concave/convex body parts.

There has got to be an X-Men movie in here someplace.

aladdinsane12 said...

so the extenze for women makes your...it actually...what???

i totally want to be the person who gets to name all of these prescription drugs. how fun would that be? i'd make an ED pill called Stifcocra.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Wait a minute.......for women? Uhhhhhh...no thanks! Most of us are trying to do the opposite!!

Daffy said...

Oooh! Looks like things are heating up between 'yourwife' and veggie. We gonna witness a good cat fight?!

Bout damn time someone else hog the drama....just know I'm willing to buy a front row ticket.

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