Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tuesday's Quickies

Other bird stories I was reminded of over the weekend.

This also happened to me....

A few years back, we were on a family trip to Chicago. It was winter time and we were walking along the street in downtown. Just as we crossed under the E-tran track, a pigeon pooped on my glove. It was a huge load and I ended up having to toss my glove in trash, which made walking in downtown Chicago in the middle of winter very fun.

And my favorite....

One time, when I worked as a sales associate at Lowe’s Home Improvement Warehouse during college, I was helping a customer find some patio pavers in the outside lawn & garden area. The pallet on the ground was empty. Everyone who works at, or shops at, a warehouse type store knows if the self is empty, you look up, since that is where excess stock is stored. It’s called “top stock”. Anyway, upon seeing that the shelf was empty, the first thing the customer did was look up. As soon as he did, a bird shit in his eye. Bullseye. Boy, was that guy pissed. I was just glad it wasn’t me.

***Stay tuned!****Inspired by Travis' post today, I am going to swallow my pride, and post some before and after diet/exercise pics of myself. If I don't chicken out, it will probably be up sometime between now and Friday.***

******Warning: The Before pic illicted the following response from the missus..."You shouldn't post this. You look disgusting!"********.....Love you too honey.

********The pics may or may not contain nudity, but probably not*******

14 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

Thanks for the warning about the pictures.

Off to buy a spork to go scoop my eyes out now.

adrienzgirl said...

I would have totally started laughing at the guy who got shat on by the bird. I would not have been able to contain it. :D

Travis said...

Aww. I'm inspiring! HEYO! I suppose I owe you a link back now. Well, only if there are some quality ball shots.

You know, just...ahem...send me those privately.

Momma Fargo said...

I hope you put those square censor thingys where they need to go on your pics.

The Blue Zoo said...

Bird shit in the eye!!?? EW! Gross and freaking hilarious!

Glad you probably wont be nude. That would be all I need, to have the hubs all pissy cause I was checking out naked guys on the net!

Coffeypot said...

It amazes me that birds shit in two colors, green and white, and they are not mixed together. Two distinct colors. Like egg white and the yolk. Think we are eating a form of bird shit for breakfast.

June said...

Ward has been shat on by a passing bird...right on his head. Of course I laughed.

If the wife is telling you it's not a good idea, you should definitely post it.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Did you tell her to start calling you shitleg?

Pat said...

Re: pigeon shit in Chicago - think of it as a little token of our appreciation for visiting our great city!

re: shit in the eye - the bird obviously missed his target - you!

Can't wait to see the before and after pics. But please, keep Big Jim and the twins in the pants.

carissajaded said...

My senior year of college formal.. I was all dressed up and a bird pooped on my head. I had a hair full of hairspray and there was really no getting it off... So yeah, shit happens...

I can't wait to see your pics.. I've posted a few myself but it's been a while. I'm not a fan of my before's and I've almost erased them all from existing...

Shamrock said...

As a little girl my loving sister (Daffy)and I found a birds nest in the backyard. Oh two little girls looking at the eggs so cute! NOT!! Daffy took the egg through at me and then started shouting you killed a baby bird!
Gotta love the sis!

Daffy said...

WHATEVER *eye roll* I smashed that blue egg in your hand. As you ran around in circles screaming like the little pansy you were I told you that was baby bird guts dripping through your finger.

SNITCH

Oh..yeah...way to avoid the bird shit big Ed. Totally post the pics. Anytime a spouse says don't, you should....

Cassie said...

I once got hit in the head with the bird poo. Coincidentally I was also hit in the head with an egg on Halloween. This may or may not be a vendetta.

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

You know what they say "A bird in the hand equals sticky white stuff on your glove..."

Oh. Wait. That doesn't sound right...

"A bird in the sky...shoots sticky white stuff in your eye.."

Shit. Hang on...

"A bird in the hand is worth two in your bush..?"

Hmmm

Speaking of bush...I'm hoping you'll leave yours out of your sexay piccies!

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