Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Tuesday Quickie....My Brain Thoughts in Five Seconds

Ever have one of those days where you think, “Boy, it’s a good thing gas is so expensive. Otherwise, I’d have more money to spend on ammo at Walmart.”?

Or

You ever wonder if the guy who said, “If life gives you lemons, then make lemonade”, owned stock in the juice industry? He obviously never had someone hold him down and pour lemon juice in his eyes. You don’t make profound statements after something like that. That stuff burns. Trust me; I’ve done it several times to the neighbor kids. They make lots of noise, but never say anything I would consider profound.

Or

What about the mattress in the pool prank? Who thought of that? Was it some redneck trying to use it for a pool float? Or maybe they just didn’t understand the concept of what a waterbed was?

Or

When they say, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”, are they taking into account whether there IS a fence? And if there is, what if you’re standing on the fence? I mean, cause then, no matter which way you look, the grass is greener. What if one side has better sun and moisture drainage and therefore IS greener? I forgot what my point was.

19 comments:

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

That took longer than 5 seconds.

Working Mommy said...

AMEN ON THE AMMO!!!!!!!!!! I am with you, man!! Following now :)

WM

Alison said...

Ammo is good....

Coffeypot said...

You are so right, Ed. The grass IS greener outside the ammo desk at Wal Mart while enjoying a lemonade bought with the money you saved by not wasting gas driving over to the pool to test out the redneck waterbed.

Daffy said...

Even when in the the most heartbreaking of moods you make me smile.

What happens if you're color blind though? Is the grass green at all?

I'm totally trying that lemon juice thing in the eyes. That is a GRAND idea.

Momma Fargo said...

Men are never good at measuring time...or anything for that matter. [sigh] On another note, I am so glad to see someone else's brain rambles and loses the point.:)

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

If there's a greener side, what if you're ON the greener side and you just don't know it? That would be depressing.

Vic said...

Once, in college, some guys broke into our apartment and stole all the mattresses. They didn't put them in the pool, but they did leave maxi pads in their place with a note about shrinkage.

Tony said...

The mattress in the pool prank was probably thought up of by drunk frat guys. Or hurricane victims...do mattresses float? I'm going to give a wild guess and say that they float. So yeah...

adrienzgirl said...

I don't know if it was just my mood tonight or what? But seriously, you had me crying with the lemons in the neighbor kids eyes! OMG! This was your best form EVER!

*standing ovation* Bravo!

Mad Woman said...

I worry about your brain.

carissajaded said...

Oh Ed I heart you so much. I have often wandered about where the origin of the lemonade statement... but I think you're right. He was out to get something...

ScoMan said...

I went and saw Arj Barkers show the other night and he made a very good point. That point was, the price of gas never changes.

Once a week I go into my servo and I tell them "Give me $20" on number four. It's been that way for years, $20 and not a cent more.

Sometimes I have to go in a few times a week, but the price is still the same. $20.

Lily said...

Wanna know my thoughts in 5 seconds? here ya go:

.....


(My thoughts in 10 seconds, 60 seconds, and 1 hour look surprisingly similar)

Lily said...

Wanna know my thoughts in 5 seconds? here ya go:

.....


(My thoughts in 10 seconds, 60 seconds, and 1 hour look surprisingly similar)

Lily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Moooooog35 said...

You're like a mystic Oracle except nothing like one. Nothing like one AT ALL.

Pat said...

You are LMAO funny. Those are my thoughts. Finito

The Blue Zoo said...

you crack me up!

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