Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Monday Part 2......belated

So, I promised you a second post yesterday and totally forgot.

Apologies.

In my defense, I would like to provide you with a LIST of what I was doing instead. Here goes:

First, I never actually “promised” anyway.
#2, I M lzy
Thirdlies, I forget stuff. This happens when you have a real life. Maybe you’ll learn that someday.
D., I was busy reading your posts and comments. Okay, not really, but it was worth a shot.
E., I was busy chatting on the gchat and had no interest in doing anything else…..except work (whew)
VI, I figured I would just make it up to you today and tell you about my recent trip to the ER.

This past Saturday night, before the big bunny came delivering colored chicken eggs to let everyone know that Jesus rose from the dead because that is how you let people know, my middle kid Sammy wakes up and vomits.

I did not hear this because I was watching a movie on the laptop with my earbuds. My wife, who had been ill with a migraine (yes, named Ed) was sleeping on the couch and hears it. She goes in to check, and discovers that Sammy’s face is swollen and bright red on the sides of his mouth. Thinking he is having a food allergy, she comes to me because I am obviously a giant antihistamine.

We decided that the boy did not look like the Joker from Batman when he went to bed 3 hrs prior, and that a trip to the ER is warranted. The best time to go to the ER is ALWAYS 130am. It’s a wonderful land of sick kids and crackheads. Like DisneyWorld, but cheaper.

So we check in. They got us back pretty quick, probably cause they think they can just wipe off my kids clown makeup and send us on our way. It’s called TRIAGE, people!

We get back there, they do their thing, check this and that, asking tons of questions, and finally the doc comes in. She does the check over thing. Decides she wants pee, blood, and x-rays. She has obviously seen my insurance card.

We do all that stuff. Wait, wait, wait, and wait. Whole time, my kid is a trooper. Didn’t cry or freak out about anything, even the blood draw and x-ray machine. Meanwhile, the wife is at home freaking out for him. Doctor comes back in, says everything came back fine, and that if he can drink some sprite without vomiting, we can leave.

I ask about the mouth, cause that was the MAIN REASON I brought him in. She wasn’t sure what caused it and said maybe he wretched so hard that he busted blood vessels around his mouth like a bruise. GREAT! Thanks for the wonderful info. That was something you just pulled out of your ass because you didn’t know. He even told you that it just “came up”. He didn’t have to heave or wretch. And I could have done the sprite test at home. I’ll just take my Joker and go now.

While waiting to be discharged, this mom who had came in with a very sick kid the same time we did, was leaving with her son. She walks over and hands Sammy a $5 bill and says Happy Easter. He was so overjoyed and excited that he totaled forgot about being sick. Meanwhile, I was thinking “WTF!!!!!!!!! WHO DOES THAT!!!! YOUR KID HAS THE DAMN PLAGUE PRACTICALLY AND YOU GIVE MY KID YOUR FILTHY BILLS?! THERE IS A STRICT NO TOUCHING POLICY IN THE ER BY NON-MEDICAL PEOPLE!”, while trying to smile and spit thank yous.

How was your weekend?

8 comments:

Daffy said...

I wanna hang with Sammy!

I only get money when I flash people.....

Travis said...

You should have smelled it.

That could apply to anything mentioned in this post.

That oughta keep you busy.

Moooooog35 said...

You lost me at the Roman Numerals.

V = 5?

WTF is that shit?

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

My son walked right up to the sign in desk on his first trip to the ER and licked the desk. No lie. I almost puked. But it moved him up the list to most urgent. <---lie. We were there all freakin night.

After that trip, a good friend of mine from HS said, Why the heck didn't you call me?! (She's a nurse in the same pediatric ER.) Guess who I called on my way to the ER the next time?! Yep. We were in and out and nobody got hurt....or licked an infectious disease desk....

Mad Woman said...

Oh to be a kid gain, i haven't been just randomly handed money since my bar hopping, boob flashing days!

ScoMan said...

First, I like your use of all the different methods of numbering your points.

Second, does it pain you think if you'd just given the kid a fiver at home, he would've been fine and you could've rolled over and gone back to sleep and saved a trip to the ER?

Money is the best medicine.

Pat said...

What - you AREN'T a big antihistamine? I'm SO disappointed.

Glad you're kid is okay.

Phillipia said...

My weekend was better than yours - thanks for asking...

Hope the family is all better by now...

BlogCatalog

Humor & Funny Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory