Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Walmart update.

UPDATE

Even though my wife swears that our Walmart has always had that sign up, I was sent the following by a co-worker, which was posted in the local paper:

"A Marion man filed a lawsuit against Wal-Mart after his nose was cut off by a piece of machinery at the city's store. Stanley "Scott" Enochs tried to go through the shopping carts-only area parallel with the food center entrance and he hit a device that took his nose off, said Samuel Jacobs, Enochs' Indianapolis attorney. The Grant Superior Court 2 filing asks for damages to be paid."

Supposedly, this happened at our local store after the remodel, and before the sign was placed above the cart door.

This genius decided to duck under the cart door, and ripped off part of his face in the process.

Since the sign wasn't up yet, he got a big fat settlement from Wally World.

That sounds like the people who sue McDonald's for the coffee being hot or the food making them fat.

"THE UNITED STATES LEGAL SYSTEM---Making Stupid People Millionaires Since 1776"

27 comments:

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Yep. You can't fix stupid. But I'll bet you could marry him and take all his money if you were hot enough!

Unfortunately for me...my husband is street smart, he's not wealthy, and I'm not hot enough to pull it off even if he WAS rich and stupid. :(

Tony said...

Honestly, it sounds like something I would do. Naw, not really. What a douchebag. But if I ever want to make fast money, I know what to do now.

MJenks said...

Well, Marion never was known for their smarts.

Unless, of course, you live in Marion, and if so, well, uh...man, the Giants look pretty good this year. Solid stuff, man. Solid stuff...

hotpants™ said...

I'm not surprised, but then again I am. Why would someone use that as a door? The real doors are automatic and open for you WITHOUT ANY DUCKING!

Just Another Momma said...

This stuff really pisses me off. The dumbass does something he knows he shouldn't and then becomes rich just like the coffee lady. But I wouldn't become an instant millionaire by spilling coffee on myself . . .

Love the "Making Stupid People Millionaires Since 1776" though. LMAO!! But it's the sad truth.

Travis said...

Dude, "Law Abiding Citizen" is kind of about that. Shit is crazy.

But yeah. Ducking under the cart door. When I pushed carts, we didn't have no fancy door to push them in. We pushed them in the front.

I pushed 74 carts one time. Shit was EPIC.

kate said...

Really, how hard would you need to drill your face into a door in order to rip part of it off?! Was this guy running an Olympic-speed 100 meter dash where the Wal-Mart cart door was the finish line?? I'm baffled here...

Lizzy and Elle said...

I have stopped MacD's from making me any fatter....

btw we took stuff

Momma Fargo said...

By the wise words of Forrest Gump's mother...Stupid is as Stupid does...Who is STUPIDER...the dude or Walmart for paying the dude. And yes, STUPIDER is a word!

Coffeypot said...

But with his nose gone, how's he gonna enjoy the smell of all that money? I hope it drives him crazy.

♥Georgie♥ said...

you are kidding me...right??? insane!!!

Nancy C said...

It would be a shame if Wal-Mart had to go out of business because of this litigation. Target isn't nearly as mockable.

The Blue Zoo said...

What a moron. I cant believe they gave him money!! Thats just not fair.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am cracking up...his nose got cut off to spite his face!

JennyMac said...

WHY are some people stupid? And why do lawyers take these cases?

And what Lee said. LOL.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

You have got to be kidding me. Wow. Just wow.

Cassie said...

Further proof that while all the people who shop at Walmart are not stupid, all the stupid people do shop at Walmart.

Lily said...

If they're so stupid, then why are they mega-rich while me and my dumb B.A. in English are barely scraping by?

Oh yeah, that's right.
because I quit my job.

Still...
Stupid and rich is starting to sound preferable to smart and poor.

Daffy said...

Meh....he just wanted to go as Michael Jackson for Halloween....helluva way to authenticate your costume

adrienzgirl said...

Well, it's just like the warning labels that you read. You know the ones that make you think, WTF? who would do that?

Yeah, the warning labels are there cause some dumbass already tried it.

Future of America....whew!

Tgoette said...

Wow, that's so wrong. You know if our government rewards stupid people for being stupid like that, they will only breed more stupid people.

Don't we have enough Tea Partiers?

Great blog!

Captain Dumbass said...

Speaking as a representative for the "rest of the world," your legal system is nothing if not entertaining.

carissajaded said...

hmmm looks like i need to get my ass out there and find some tiny door or hot coffee and try to get something in the works...

ScoMan said...

Is this why people hate lawyers?

Usually I just hate the plantiff, but I guess it's the lawyers fault too.

Bastards.

Moooooog35 said...

Im nmy nefense, dere shnould ave een a sign dere.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

WOW just WOW. I need to find a place that doesn't have a sign and rip a part of my body off there and get me some free money! Okay, I don't want money that bad!

Ed Adams said...

P.O.S.: Sucks to be you then.

Tony: Is it really worth a nose?

MJenks: Look at you, knowing your local shit. Ha. Guess you didn't spend all your Indiana time in South Bend.

hotpants: Maybe you missed the part about him being a genius.

Just Another Momma: You're preaching to the choir. Thanks though.

Travis: I love that movie! And 74 is like a Geinus Record or some shit.

Kate: That's probably what happened. Like reverse hurdles.

Lizzy & Elle: Welcome.

Momma Fargo: I liked it better before I knew it was an actual word.

Coffeypot: It'll drive him crazy all the way to the bank.

heart Georgie heart: I never kid about stupid. Okay, that's a lie.

Nancy C: I agree. I can't even bring myself to shop at Target for blog fodder.

The Blue Zoo: It's never fair. Just like when Ed McMahon would give that check to those old ladies who would die before they had a chance to spend any of that money.

Lee: It was just the nose. He was saving face.

JennyMac: People are stupid because God likes laughing too. And lawyers take these cases because they are greedy bastards.

Surfer: Yep. I am kidding JUST you. Everybody else I was being truthful with.

Cassie: Truer words have never been spoken in this comments section on this blog post.

Lily: At least you have something to show for your efforts. It's called student loans. Hahaha, You thought I was going to say degree.

adrienzgirl: Yep. And when stupid people read labels, they are just looking for their name.

Tgoette: These are the same people wanting free healthcare.

Capt. Dumbass: Thanks. I still blame the Romans and the British, since ours is modeled on theirs.

Carissajaded: Good luck with that. I will be happy to post your story.

ScoMan: Hating lawyers is like hating bad stuff. Which is basically the most awesomest metaphor ever.

Mooooog35: You might want to take your penis out of your mouth before commenting next time. Just a tip. (TWSS)

HillBilly Duhn: Sure you don't. I can see little confederate dollar signs in your eyes.

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