Thursday, February 4, 2010

Day 4...I'm STILL WINNING!!!!!

Day 4 of the Nice Online Persona Challenge

Despite the best efforts of The Princess of Sarcasm and Surferwife, and even though my wife tries to PRETEND that I’ve failed the challenge, I am still refusing to admit defeat WINNING!

Case in point:

<----------That Lovely Blog character created by my Lovely Wife to compliment this Lovely Niceiousity themed challenge.

Awwwww…..look at the cute kitty, and butterflies, and hearts, and rainbows, and flowereyes, and peace sign.

So even if her comments say FAIL, her creative juices say “You are the most handsomest, nicest, friendliest, wonderfullest, kindest to dwarvesiest, and beautifulliest on the insidest person in the world, regardless of what those bitches say.”

Or something like that.

Yes, she may have felt my pain offered to let me out of the challenge early, BUT I’m sure that this was only for a couple possible reasons:

1. She is secretly admitting her defeat.
2. She is testing me, to see how committed I am to winning.
3. She wanted to see how long it would take before I started adding “est” to the end of words.
4. She loves me, but still doesn’t want sexy time.

Whatever the reasons, I KNOW she wants me to succeed.

This is all part of her plan of positive reinforcement.

Just like when you beat a dog, but do it in a loving way, like with newspapers and stuff, instead of the usual baseball bat, so that in the long run it won’t do that squaty cowery thing every time you raise your hand, but instead will fetch your beer the FIRST time you ask it.

Just like Pavlov.

It’s science, don’t fight it.

But our case, it’s LOVE.

I’m still a dog though.

23 comments:

Crystal said...

I hope disappointing thousands of people is worth the sex.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Based on my "conversation" with her last night...I would guess it's #4. Which means you are the definite loser. And I think she put the rainbow on the picture more because you're gay...not nice. Just sayin'....

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You know it's love if, when you're beating their skull in with a rock, you shed a tear...

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Apparently I am a dpg, too since I was referenced as a bitch.

The flowereyes are fantastic. Almost. ALMOST makes up for the ostrich self portrait comment.

Tony said...

I bet your wife IS testing you. Women do that. Just like when I asked my lady what she wanted for Valentine's Day, she said, "You don't have to get me anything." Yeah, right. It's a test, Ed. You WILL win!

Cassie said...

Well I was with you so far but after "Niceiousity" it kind of all goes downhill from there.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Dude, is it really winning though when we can all hear you smiling through your gritted teeth? :)

Nancy C said...

I agree that the flower eyes are killer!

Moooooog35 said...

WTF.

Dude. You're almost dead to me at this point.

Almost.

There's still time to go back! There's still time to go back!

Coffeypot said...

Your are sooooo PW. Are you a man or a mouse? Squeek up!

June said...

Why don't you ask the wife to help you "Find your Smile"?

Tracie said...

You'd better get some extra-bendy sex out of this.

Tgoette said...

I think it's intervention time, Ed! Okay yeah I can tolerate your new nice smiley persona a little while longer but your new blog character? The flower eyes and hearts and kittie are all good, but what's with the rainbow? Something you're not telling us?

adrienzgirl said...

There is something very very wrong with the picture your wifey poo decorated for you. Perhaps it's the hearts. I don't know. It might be the rainbow. Possibly the butterfly. The cat has a whole other vibe....strange. Very curious.

Daffy said...

Did your head get bigger?

TWSS...or in your case TWSDS (That's what she didn't say cause you ain't gettin' none)

Sigh....I'm not either so simmer down.

The Office Scribe said...

That's a kitten?

I thought you had dropped something.

Like a deuce.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Will you tell your wife to come over and train my husband like she is training you?

ScoMan said...

I didn't hit my dog with a newspaper. I just drew a heart on the baseball bat, I thought that was enough positive reinforcement.

Mad Woman said...

I'm feeling so let down. I was promised infinite amounts of sarcasm and wit and even nastiness. And all I get is you being nice with purty pictures of you and rainbows?

Humph!

jeff said...

even your comments on my blog have been sweet and sunny! i'm worried man, this is shifting the way i perceive the universe

Aleta said...

Does a dog house come along with it?

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

The picture is ok but I really think you need to be farting out sunshine or some sh*t.

Or you can put a big steamy pile of crap next to you and paint some nice heart shaped sunglasses on it or something...

I also think you need some lipstick to perk up your pout...something that matches the red in the Rainbow.

Captain Dumbass said...

Does she hit you with a rolled up paper?

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