Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Wednesday......WYR & Whatnot

Would You Rather:


Have the opportunity to interview Jesus?


OR


Have the opportunity to interview Hitler?

Things to consider:

Are you Jewish?

Are you a Christian?

Given their current status, you most likely would have to die to do the interview.

Given their current permanent locations, one interview setting might be significantly more comfortable than the other.


Also, regardless of who you choose, what would be the first question you would ask?


Whatnot:


I found this odd pic of Hillary.



Damn, that’s a sexy man woman.

I’m trying to figure something out though.

Is she endorsing Subway’s $5 footlong campaign?

Or is she explaining to the press what Michelle Obama finds so attractive about our President?



Our dog threw up in the kitchen last night, while we were making dinner. I had given her a piece of hotdog that fell on the floor. Mixed in with the pile of Purina vomit, was the completely un-chewed piece of Hot Dog, which the 10 yr old asked if HE could have. The wife thought it not wise to let the 10 yr old have a freshly upchucked piece of hotdog. I just assumed it was because dinner was almost ready and she didn’t want to fill him up.

I’m still not sure why the dog threw up. Did she choke on the hotdog? Was the hotdog bad? I hope not, because we ate them. Maybe she ate her dog food too fast, which happens. She had been to the vet earlier, maybe it was something she picked up there. You know, besides fleas.

Speaking of the vet, I noticed on the Heartworm Pill box it says, “Federal Law prohibits dispensing without prescription from licensed veterinarian.” Is that really necessary? Seriously. These aren’t Vicodin! Are people illegally preventing their animals from heartworm infection and death? Is that really the most important issue in our country? Maybe heartworm meds contain something important that the methheads could use to make illicit drugs, if ONLY they had easier access.

Regardless, I cleaned up the puke, which normally is part of the wife’s assigned tasks. I’m a good husband though. Plus, there’s the whole upcoming anniversary and all. I will say, the vomit was very warm and squishy. But it tasted alright to me.

25 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

That's actually a photo of the Hilary Clinton "Real Doll" limited edition. She is demonstrating the size of Bill Clinton's "cigar".

Travis said...

I'm gonna interview Jesus.

My first question? What's the deal with airplane peanuts??

Bill and Hillary ran this country. I'm not a democrat, but I loved em for it. They gave it tha bidness.

Of course, he gave everyone but her the bidness.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

I'm gonna say interview Jesus. And I'd ask him, how the heck did he brainwash a bunch of backwoods hillbillies to follow him across the desert and all that other jazz doing is work while he just stood around getting free wine.

I'd say Hilary was describing the size of Clinton's shlong, letting the world know, that secretly she knows why interns can't resist him, really she does, she just can't choke that shit down anymore. Too big.

carissajaded said...

Jesus. and I'd probably ask if I could have some wine. to calm my nerves and all...

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

After you cleaned it up for her, did you show her the pukey paper towel and say "Happy Anniversary Honey," and kiss her on the cheek? Cause that would've been a romantic gesture.

Charisse and Holly said...

Super odd picture of Hillary. Her head looks like it was photoshopped onto her body. Either that or it's her wax figure. Love you captions about her! I think Hitler would creep me out...so I pick Jesus. Although I hope to interview Him for all eternity! I'm new to dog barf. Only having a dog for two months and counting now. In those two months I've watched him eat poo, walk in poo, get covered in sap, lick his manhood...even after part of it was taken from him, diarrhea on our carpet...complete with blood, throw up twice in the house, pee on every surface in the house, sleep in his own feces...the list goes on and on. Dogs are gross...why do we love them so?! Great post. Thanks for stopping by and sticking with my insanely long post. So sweet of you. Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

Daffy said...

Jesus...cause that's the way I roll.

Hilary is Vogueing for the camera...strike a pose...

Dog vomit...yup describes you well

adrienzgirl said...

Well, I'd like to say Jesus, but let's face it, there isn't a shot in hell that's where I'm going. So I guess I'll be interviewing the short fat balding Jewish bastard that convinced a nation full of tall, white, blonde/blue eyed people that they were superior all of whom blindly followed said short fat bald beady eyed little rat bastard.

Obviously question numero uno would be "HOW THE HELL DID YOU PULL THAT OFF?"

Does anyone really care what Hillary is saying?

I can't believe you incorporated a puke story. TOMORROW is TMI!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'd interview Jesus.

First question? Do you really kill kittens every time I masturbate?

I think Hillary's showing us the distance on fourth down.

Ed Adams said...

Veggie Killer: That sounds like inside info. How did you come about such news?

Travis: Really? Airplane peanuts? That's your first question for our Lord and Saviour?

HB Duhn: Come on. Never ending wine supply. That's too easy.
And how do you know she not referring to the size of hers?

carrisajaded: I'm sure he could do that for you without the wine. That sounds a lot dirtier that I meant for it too. I was talking miracle-wise.

Steamy: Actually, I opened my mouth and regurgitated some and fed her a little, momma to baby bird style. Now we both have worms.

Holly: That's a real pic, pulled from Yahoo News today. Dogs are great, aren't they. Much better than cats. Not a good as Jesus though. He's THE man...err...God.

Daffy: I too roll with Jesus. Although, sometimes he makes me sit in the backseat. As for Hillary, you might be right. I didn't think about that. Of course, that would mean Bill's in the background playing his saxophone...err....intern. And don't act like you've never tried Dog Vomit!

adrienzgirl: I find it ironic that you said "not a shot in Hell" then implied that's where you were going. As for my vomit story.....I'm just THAT good. Don't be jealous.

mjenks: That kitten thing is an old wives tell that is supposed to keep our hands where people can see them. Otherwise, there'd be dead kittens everywhere, like confetti at a parade or illegals in front of a Home Depot. And that would be just because of me.
As for Hillary, you may be right. Depending on who your team is. Go Colts!

ScoMan said...

I think I'd like to interview both and ask them "How did you get so many people to follow you?"

I've tried. Once. And after one idea didn't work within 10 minutes I went back to my Xbox.

Maybe the dog heartworm tablets are a powerful mind control pill and thats why they're so special.

JennyMac said...

Damn, that’s a sexy (man) woman is hysterical. And true.

Stacie's Madness said...

I think I just puked a little, thanks.

Tricia said...

BAHAHAHAHA. You're ridic.

GingerMandy said...

hitler, no doubt. who WOULDN'T wanna interview hitler? i'd ask him about the stache.

and omg. hillary. i was disappointed when i saw you put the $5 footlong and not a sexual reference, but you redeemed yourself. congrats.

Coffeypot said...

I don’t think I could interview either of them because I don’t speak German or Hebrew. And I don’t see myself dying just for the possibility of a Pulitzer. But I would give a tip of the cap to Jesus for dying for all of us and stuff.

I guess, if I got past the language thing, I would ask Jesus how he stayed clean as a baby. Being as he would bob to the surface every time she let go of him. Just wondering…

Jeney Peney said...

I'd interview Jesus and ask him what he thinks about "Touchdown Jesus" and other such depictions of him. I want to see if he has a sense of humor...

kys said...

Can I interview Hillary instead?

Ed Adams said...

ScoMan: That's too easy. One did it with Love, the other with fear and threats. I do believe you're right about the Heartworm meds though.

JennyMac: Thanks. It's most likely why Bill strayed.

Stacie's Madness: Save me the Hotdog pieces!

Tricia: Thanks. You're derful!

GingerMandy: Aww, yes. The stache. Inspiring millions of pubic trim jobs since 1945.
As for the reference...You had to know I wouldn't let you down.

Coffeypot: Actually, Jesus probably spoke mostly Syriac, in addition to Hebrew and a little Greek. At least according to Mel Gibson.
It took me a minute to get the second half of your comment. What can I say, I'm slow.

Jeney Peney: I'm pretty sure he has a sense of humor. I doubt he's too thrilled with our depictions of him though. Probably that whole "don't make idols or images of idols" thingy.

kys: Nope. Sorry. No one really cares what she has to say. You can pretend though, if you want.

Lauren said...

I pick Jesus. I would ask him if he'd let me walk on water for a second. What? It's Jesus! Like I'm ever going to get the chance again!

Also, if I WERE to interview Hitler, I'd ask him, "Dude! Why you be hatin? And what's so great about blondes anyway?" (No offense to the blonds out there...I'm just sayin.)

Secretia said...

Hillary is talking about Ms Lewinsky there.

Moooooog35 said...

I would totally do Hillary Clinton.

Then I'd interview Jesus and ask him what the fuck is WRONG WITH ME?!

CK Lunchbox said...

Between the hotdog and the dog puke (two of my least favorite things) I'm suppressing my gag reflex as I type.


Jesus or Hitler? Hmmm... could I pretend to be Jon Daily?

Ed Adams said...

Lauren: 5 million Blonde Christians were just killed in your honor.

Secretia: Which part? Oh, wait. That's nasty. LOL

Moooooog35: That's probably even something He wouldn't know.

CK Lunchbox: You could, but I'm not sure eith of them would talk to Jon Daily.

The Mother said...

Considering Jesus probably wasn't even real, I guess I'd be stuck with Hitler.

And since just saying that probably ends me up in the same place, that's probably fortuitous.

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