Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wednesday.....the real post

The Weird:

Make sure you check out Yahoo's Odd News Today. There's some good stories in there.

Like:

Some old lady called the cops because thieves stole her marijuana plants.
Some poor school girl lost her fingers in an art project gone array.
A Dead dude was nominated to serve on some panel in Alabama.
Some wacko was busted for sleeping with a corpse in a closet.
Some old ladies got in a fight over a cat in Georgia.

The best by far comes from Portland, OR. This guy went all Martin Lawrence-naked-in-the-freeway crazy and not only beat his girlfriend but then knifed her fish. Serious mental issues. Evidently, the girl wanted to get one of the memorial Tattoos of the fish, and make him pay for it, but the judge said nope. Seems he wasn't the only one with issues.
Go check it out, if nothing else, then to see this dudes Mug shot.

Wednesday Would You Rather:

Be the poor sap Michael Jordan flew out for his Hall Of Fame speech only to publicly humiliate?

OR

Be the runner up for the Nobel Peace Prize and loose to someone not even nominated?

The Wacky:

I love wacky names. You know what I'm talking about. The kind that when you hear them, you think, "Those parents should be shot. Then ran over. Then shot again. Then buried for a week, only to be dug up and shot again!"...........over kill?

I saw where Oklahoma's basketball team has a guy named "Tiny Gallon".
His parents must have been fans of Little House on the Prairie.

There used to be a baseball player in the 40's or 50's whose name was "Happy Fellow".
Seriously, look it up.

We've all heard "Dick Butts"....or...."Harry Butts"........or....."Nice Butt"...(No? that one must just be me).

My mom used to work for an insurance company, and she had lots of good names of customers. The one I remember her saying most was "Herb Erb III (the Third)".

I see lots of good names at work, but sadly won't be sharing them with you. (HIPAA)

All this brings me to this......

Story Time:

gather round kids......

As you know by now, I was in the Navy. The Navy's enlisted ranks start as follows:
Seaman Recruit
Seaman Apprentice
Seaman
Petty Officer Third Class
blah, blah, blah

Some people went in with advanced rank because of college or ROTC or signing up friends or sexual favors to the recruiter or whatever.

I had a friend who was in ROTC and came in as an E-3 named Richard Poole.

When we were in Corpsmen School, we had an instructor that was very.........Metro.........err..........Flamboyantly..........err...........village peoplely..........err.........."Don't ask Don't tell" protected, named Petty Officer Flannigan. (There may be future posts on this wonderful character, so stay tuned)

Anyway, Flannigan spoke with a queer, I mean, lisp. He loved calling out people who weren't paying attention to see if they had the answer.

It never failed to put the class into hysterics (the cause of which was totally oblivious to Flannigan), when he would, in his feminine lispy tone say:

Seaman Rich Poole!

16 comments:

kyslp said...

That old lady must have been high when she called the cops.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

LOL! I can just imagine the guy saying that! My first husband last name was Rudy. We didn't have kids but if we did I would have named my son Doody and my daughter Toody.

adrienzgirl said...

Ah...someone ripped off Granny's glaucoma meds...that's just a poor pathetic excuse for a thief! Bastards!

I would rather be runner up for that which I did not deserve, qualify or ask for. Mr. Jordan is a douchebag! I may still be bitter about him publicly announcing his retirement, and publicly stating that he was not doing so to play baseball, only to turn right around don a baseball uniform and fail miserably at it. Honesty people, it is a Novel concept I know.

adrienzgirl said...

Oh...and I went to school with a girl named Candy Cane.

Her parents probably stole Granny's stash!

Jeff said...

knife a fish? man, that takes talent.
memorial tattoo of a fish? ....the hell? sounds like the universe did something right by making these two people meet each other

Alison said...

The universe indeed....let's hope they did not breed!!
And I went to school with a Bilbo...can you imagine the jokes there?

Travis said...

I suppose it's lame if I bring up Dick Head again... So sad.

I knife fish hundreds of times a year.

I will now be gettin memorials of them all.

Travis said...

Oh. And I would kick MJ in the nuts, that's what I would do.

Fuckin UNC bahstahd.

Pastor David said...

Give me the runner up in the Nobel Peace prize cause at least I could know I did something that made a difference in the world even if it wasn't recognized!

moooooog35 said...

I would rather be the MJ guy because, seriously, Michael Jordon talked about me!

I need friends.

Very Top Five said...

Hahaha, win! "Anyway, Flannigan spoke with a queer, I mean, lisp."

I LOLed.

I found out about your blog through http://imnotbenny.blogspot.com/ and I'm totally glad.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

the girl who shared my locker in 10th grade was named

DIANA DICKOFF

no shit

Jay Ferris said...

I would have rather been runner-up for the Nobel; at least then I would have (likely) made a viable contribution to society, as opposed to being party to the outing of MJ for the douche he truly is.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

We knew a Dick Hyman years ago.

And a woman, Eileen Downs, and her brother Ben Downs. Swear.

Ed Adams said...

These were some Great names.

And by Great names, I mean sucks ass.

Their parents truly hated their offspring, and quite possibly themselves.

I was also shocked to find out that mine own wife(she of the TV Land knowledge keeper)even missed the Little House on the Prairie reference.

This was meant to associate the relation between the Basketball player "Tiny Gallon" and Laura Ingall's nickname of "Half Pint".

I see now that was a FAIL.

Ed Adams said...

And Mine own wife should have read My own wife.

BlogCatalog

Humor & Funny Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory