Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Tuesdays Quickies........the late edition

THIS JUST IN!!

IT'S UNANIMOUS!

I'm an Ass. :O <--fake shocked face

Yep. (_*_) That's me. I'm the guy who says what no one else will because he doesn't care what people think.

My family calls it mean. Bunch of whiners is all they are.

Others call me an ass......I don't mind.........I've heard it so many times, I've embraced it........I'm thinking of having shirts made.........On the front, they'll say........."ASS".......on the back....."YES I AM".......Or maybe they'll just have a big picture of a Butt.........I wonder if they're available in turd brown.

And the crowd says, "No! Say it isn't soooo!"

I can dream can't I.

Hopefully you've made your way around and visited the winners of my funny award. Who ,I might add, just love the new nicknames I've given them. So, make sure to call them by it.

Remember I told you about my fondness for Yahoo's Odd News?

It was right after that part where you said you wanted to....you know....and I said I would but only if.......remember? Wait, maybe that was somebody else....Anyway....

I can't make up stuff this good. Check out some of today's headlines:

Police: Pa. woman put stolen check in church plate

Biting pupil pried from Ohio teacher's arm

Md. driving lesson ends with minivan in bedroom

Neb. woman accused of throwing dog at officer

Police: Pa. man nabbed for DUI used brother's ID

Irish school asks pupils to bring own toilet roll

Bra which doubles as gas mask wins whacky Ig Nobel

There's Darwin Award winners in there, I can just feel it.

P.S. Some people missed out on my Funny Award because of minor technicalities. These people are in the running for my Almost Funny Award. Second place is first losers.

6 comments:

Mr. Apron said...

That school in Ireland must not have been a Catholic school.

There, they're required to bring their own lube.

Sally-Sal said...

My brother, sister and I are all dicks. It makes family gatherings that much more enjoyable.

Ducky said...

I can't believe you posted the awards in your side bar, ya ass.

What do people expect? They should know by now that you put the ass in classy, babe.

Ed said...

Mr. Apron: That's sick. I am definitely checking out your blog.

Sally-Sal: Ha. We should all get together. You bring the dicks, I'll bring the ass and...........wait, what?

Daffy: Yeah. Some people. I mean, what would classy be without the ass.....just cly....and that ain't even a word.
My wife just told me ain't ain't a word either. Dang it.

Amy Gabbard said...

I get told that I am an ass all of the time, Ed. At my ex-husband's family gatherings, half of them hated me because I would say things like: "I will give everyone 5 dollars if they NOT talk about their health problems for the rest of this get together" or "If you hate the preacher of your church so much, then go to another one-there are like 127 churches in our county!"

Sally-Sal said...

Sodomy at Christmas has a nice ring to it.

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