Thursday, September 17, 2009

TMI Thursday: The Christmas PAP

Here we go again. LiLu says it's TMI Thursday again.


When I was a Medical Assistant, occasionally I would be called upon to assist the doctor with a woman's yearly visit. This was rare and only happened when there weren't any female assistants available, or when the doc thought a certain patient was overly attractive (HOT) and pulled me into the room (kicking and screaming, I swear honey).
On this particular occasion, it was the prior. Trust me! Anyway, I assumed my normal position up by the patient's head, while the doctor and patient assumed......well.....their normal positions. Also, I must add, it was Christmas time.
The doc gloved up, grabbed the speculum from the warming tray, dabbed some lube on it, flipped up the patient's gown & blanket covering and said the following:

Doc: "Holy Cow!" (which I'm sure is just what the lady with her butt up in his face wanted to hear)
"Is this my Christmas present?!" (Now I thinking, I am sooooo going to be testifying in court)
"You even gift-wrapped it for me!" (The patient looks as if she might pass out)

Up stands the doc, with a very long piece of Tinsel. Even the patient starts laughing.

Let that be a lesson to you, LADIES!.................DON'T decorate your Christmas Tree in the nude!

17 comments:

LiLu said...

Oh my gaw.

It would have been SO much better if she'd done it on purpose.

Filing that away...

Travis said...

Wow. Ed, I gotta tell ya buddy, I'd have walked smooth out. Either that or looked down there. I mean, ridin the fence worked out for you pretty well, so good decision. I'm sure I'd have been fired.

The Demigoddess said...

Tinsel? I'd expect a woman wanted something harder than tinsel inside her vajayjay..Or maybe not.

**whistles while walking away**

Angela said...

Hahaha that's a good one. I wish she HAD done that on purpose!

Andhari said...

OUCH. That's just...ouch.

Sebastian said...

Hah.

I ain't done it with tinsel... but glitter and the like...

I know there was on time I got glitter all over my face from a particular girlfriend -- I then kissed her, and she got glitter all over me later...

Big Mama Cass said...

Wait... you mean we aren't supposed to wear bows and tinsel to all our gyno appt's?? So thaaaaaats why they always give me a funny look!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

adrienzgirl said...

Everything looks better with "bling"!
:D

XO, J said...

fantastic...that's all.

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

Um wow. I can't believe the Dr asked her vagina if the tinsel was his Christmas gift. Ewww

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

Oh and I posted about one of my OBGYN Appts a while ago. maybe you can take a read and let me know if what I was thinking is valid or not...?

http://proudtobecheap.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-dirty-mind.html

Christina_the_wench said...

How the hell do you not know you have tinsel down there? Was she mentally challenged?

spleeness said...

haha, I love "I am SO going to be testifying in court for this"!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Maybe Santa had left her a gift-wrapped battery powered device.

shine said...

That? Is the most awesome thing I've read all day.

Hahahaha. I just peed myself a little.

lacochran said...

It's so hard to find the right accessory.

Miss_Nobody said...

LOL.One of the best TMIs ever!
Thanks for the visit!

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