Monday, August 10, 2009

What defines a definition????

What defines a definition?

How do you tell when a Shrimp becomes a Jumbo Shrimp? Isn't it still just a shrimp?

If "AIN'T" ain't a word, how come I can spell it, write it, and use it in a sentence?

Is it really GOOD, just because it says Smucker's on the label? Smucker's doesn't sound so good to me. It sounds too much like Shmuck.........Shmucker's some, you idiot.

Why do some people have more friends online than in real life? Is their typing that much prettier to look at? Are they just nicer with their fingers than their mouths?.....moving on....

Why do hairs that you pluck, wax, laser, and cut grow back; while hairs that you wash, brush, or comb fall out? Maybe women should brush under their arms, and guys should wax their scalps.

Why is it called a children's book if YOU have to read it to them? "Tonight, Daddy is going to read you the magical story titled HOW TO HANG DRYWALL, which was written by Bob Veelah. It goes: Once upon a time, in This Old House, there was a man wearing flannel............."

This one isn't mine, but it's good: Why do store bought cookies start out hard and get soft when they go stale; but homemade cookies start out soft, and get hard when they are stale?

Why do some people spend so much time talking, when they should be spending more time thinking first? After all, don't they get tired of the taste of their shoes?

What happens to your burp or fart after it comes out? I mean, after it finds your neighbors ears and nose.

Why do Mondays take so long, while Saturdays go so quick? Shouldn't we work Saturday and have Monday off then? I guess that would make Thursday "hump day", which would totally throw off my TV schedule, so never mind.

If LOL means Laughs Out Loud, does that mean CKQ means Chuckles Kinda Quietly?
What would the abbreviation for "Amused Silent Smirk" be then? And why is Abbreviation so freaking long?

Should the phrase "Open Ended Question" really just mean you forgot your question mark?
If a question mark could ask a question, would it be "Who am I" or "Why do I look this way"? If I was one, that's what I would ask.

If a bird flies, it's call Graceful, but if I do it, it's called Falling.

Why do women spend so much time "getting ready"? Are they leaving the atmosphere? NASA preps the shuttle quicker. And why does she say she is "putting her face on"? What the heck was the thing she was wearing when she went in there? Maybe that's why it takes so long, she's having surgery. "Putting her face on"? Really? Who's in there helping, Jim Henson and George Lucas? Shouldn't she look different when she comes out, besides a little makeup? Maybe have a third eye, mouth on forehead, or an upside down nose.

I am done for today. I took a little time away from blogging to give my brain and readers a rest, but I'll probably be back tomorrow with more unanswered questions.


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