Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Rant By Comic Strip, Facebook Follies, And Some Funny FAIL Pics

When a guy goes to the restroom in a public place/business, he expects to comfortably do his business and get out quickly, with as little mess as possible.

Since guys can stand to pee, our restrooms aren't as crowded and trips aren't as involved as when women go.

When we go, we expect to assume the normal position, as such:


Or...


Because urinals USUALLY are installed in ONLY two height ranges. USUALLY!

So, imagine my surprise, when I went in expecting the normal/average height urinal like such...


Only to discover that this establishment had invented a NEW installation height...


Now granted, I'm not the dashingly tall Greek Adonis that I once was.

It's true, I have lost about 4 inches in height since High School.

But I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person to use this restroom only to find the bottom lip of the urinal even with my NIPPLES.

Was I confused? Maybe it's not a urinal. Maybe it's some sort of face washing fixture?

I resisted the temptation to try.

It might not have been as bad, IF this hadn't been the ONLY urinal, AND the toilet was currently occupied.


Thankfully, what God took from me in height, He more than blessed me with *eyebrow waggle* in length, so I didn't need to ask for a step ladder.  

I just unrolled my junk, slung it up and over, and started my whiz biz. 


That's when things got worse.


The normal spray, splash, or blow-back that might hit your thighs or tops of your shoes at a NORMAL size urinal was now hitting me IN.THE.FACE.

It was like riding a jet-ski into the crest of a wave, repeatedly.

I needed I bib & goggles.

 

 Or a Welder's Mask!


SERIOUSLY, if a restaurant is going to be racist against average height people, they should be required to post the following warning on the door.

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I rarely get on The Facebook any more.

I can't help it I lead an exciting and envied lifestyle.

But when I do, I enjoy letting people know what I think.

Here's what you are missing by not being my Friend.

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And now, just some pictures I saw and wanted you to see.



5 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

I feel your pain.

Sadly for me, though, that happens at the kiddie urinals.

Coffeypot said...

Steve Job’s genius was that he hired the smart people to conceptualize, develop and build the things from Apple. He was genius enough to hire the smart people to market his shit and the factory workers to put it all together. He just had a big desk and comfortable chair when he wasn’t giving speeches all over the country about what his people were developing. He is no more involved with Apple than Bill Gates is with Micro Soft. And I am man enough to reach the MAN’S URINAL. I have never pissed in my face, though I did date a girl once who like for me to…well…she liked showers. We didn’t date long. She wanted me to kiss her.

Sarah Pearson said...

I'm glad you men have your own share of bathroom woes. And yay for The Highlander reference :-)

Pat said...

So, is your voice real deep 'cause you're hung like a horse or what?

This was funny, btw.

And, oh, did your wife read this? (your post, not my comments.)

I'd like to see her comments.

Dorn said...

Back when I worked in cubicle land the guy beside me changed my restroom habits forever!

He said he always uses the kiddie urinal because he noticed he kept getting little spots on his watch face. He'd clean it off and they'd reappear and he had no clue what it was. One day he made the connection after cleaning he noticed they were back immediately after using the bathroom.

Shorties splatter your shins, not your wrists. Now you know!

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