Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wacky News Wednesdays

Did you hear about the guy in Utah that paid his medical bill in pennies?
He was disputing the charge of $25, and when they wouldn’t remove it, he paid with 2,500 pennies.
My guess is he had been watching Diary of a Shopaholic.
Anyway, the cops were called, because medical people are racist against pennies.
Everyone HATES the penny.
The popo wrote the poor guy a ticket for disorderly conduct or some trumped up crap.
Now the ticket is going to cost him $140.
I think he should pay the ticket in pennies.
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Italy stopped the smuggling of tap shoes into North Korea.
Evidently Kim Jung Il has happy feet.
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A Japanese Astronaut is planning to grow space cucumbers while at the space station.
There’s an app for that?
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New study says women fake orgasms, NOT to protect their partners delicate egos, but because of their own feelings of inadequacy.
They want to make themselves look good.
I love being a guy.
We don’t have to fake it.
And to look good, we just have to show up.
“Up” being the key word.
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Texas Bus system refuses rides to saggy pants riders.
Teenagers and old people are PISSED!
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Australia’s Military reported they lost their UFO/X-files, and were unable to locate them in order to comply with a Freedom of Information request from the press.
This obviously means the files were abducted by aliens.
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The “Mullet Bandit” robbed another bank on Monday. That makes four Ohio banks that he has hit.
This proves 2 things:
  1. The price of haircuts in Ohio must be ridiculous!
  2. He is getting his money’s worth out of the "Business in the front", cause bank robbing ain’t no party.
                (the "party in the rear" will come when his gets to prison)
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Ford Motor Company announced it would boost sales by 50% over the next 4 years.
Have the F*@K are they going to do that?
Start selling Hondas?

11 comments:

Coffeypot said...

‘A Japanese Astronaut is planning to grow space cucumbers while at the space station.’ Interesting to see how he is gonna water them…and who he is gonna use them on.
‘This obviously means the files were abducted by aliens.’ Or those Westborough Baptist Church fuckers.

Mrs. Pickle said...

He should wipe his ass with every single penny and then pay the fucking ticket! People are such assholes

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Firstly, pennies are stupid, Secondly, they are, however, LEGAL tender, meaning legally you shouldn't be ABLE to refuse someone a payment in pennies. I don't understand the law. It's whatever they want it to be. If they won't let a dude pay in pennies, no matter how protesty he's being, you have to make the penny illegal. Simple. WHY AM I NOT PRESIDENT? Apart from the whole not being American and not wanting to be, thing.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Um, having reread my comment there I should point out I meant "not wanting to be PRESIDENT" not American. :) Haha, jeeze what a spaz.

Joshua said...

He should have paid it in 2,500 installments. Pay one penny, leave, pay another penny, leave, etc.

Brutalism said...

Can you imagine getting thrown in the brig for smuggling tap shoes? There's something I wouldn't want to admit to my murderous cellmates.

That's like going to rehab for an addiction to wine coolers.

Travis said...

The joke about faking orgasms. Is that a anthony weiner joke?

Jewels said...

I busted out with a loud ass "Bwahahaha" over the mullet joke. I LOVE a good mullet joke. hahaha.

These were great. Now I keep picturing Kim Jung as a dancing penguin. :D

Momma Fargo said...

I admire the penny dude's style. All worth the trouble.

Johnny Virgil said...

The funniest part about the mullet bandit -- he robbed another bank and tucked his mullet up under his baseball cap so they weren't sure it was him. There's an actual quote from an FBI agent that says "This guy is tricky."

hotpants™ said...

He got a ticket? Fuck that. I'd pay those bastards in Monopoly money.

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