Monday, June 13, 2011

The Adams' Family Does Springfield. My Kids Kicked Lincoln's A**.

Took the Family to Springfield, Illinois this past weekend.
My youngest son is fascinated with Presidents, and with Springfield being Abraham Lincoln’s hometown, we decided to surprise the kids with a weekend roadtrip.
Me, the Wife, and my 3 kids.
4 ½ hours one-way.
9 hours in the car total.
*punches self in face*
Springfield is cool.
Tons of history…..I LOVE history….. Old buildings and houses.
I’m pretty sure I was born in the wrong era.
I just googled “era” on my cellphone to make sure I used that right.
And yes, I see the irony.
The kids loved it.
The wife did to, regardless of when she exclaimed, “Springfield is the trashiest big city I have ever been to. Don’t they own a streetsweeping machine?”
I explained to her that Abe gave people their Freedom to Litter.
That’s why he wrote that Emancipation Unsanitation.
We took a tour of his Law Office, led by an ancient lady who knew EVERYTHING about Abe.
I think they went to grade school together or something.
We got to stand on the very same hardwood floors where Abe stood.
Then we went to the Old State Capital building across the street.
Honest Abe spent lots of time in there.
I could almost feel his presence, but he wouldn’t hold still.
Turns out it was an impersonator, and he was not pleased at having his “presence” felt.
Then we walked down to the Lincoln house.
They’ve preserved the entire neighborhood and the only home Lincoln ever owned.
And his crapper. Dude had 3 johns in his outdoor “reading room”.
The kids got their picture touching the same banister that Lincoln touched.
I’m pretty sure that qualifies them to be Presidents now.
Or at the very least, free an entire race of people.
Then we headed to the tomb of Lincoln.
There's a bronze bust of Lincoln on a pedestal, and the nose is shiney from people rubbing it over the years for luck.
I lifted my daughter up so she could touch ole Abe's nose, and she proceeded to try and pick it.
Then she scaled the fence and climbed up the monument, which was closed at the time.
I informed her of her criminal acts, rounded her up before she could knock down the granite monument, and loaded her into the van.
I think that means I habored a felon.
Before we left town, we stopped at the Cozy Dog restaurant on old Route 66.
My kids LOVE the Disney/Pixar movie Cars, and Route 66 is a big part of that.
It’s the old cross-country route from Chicago to L.A.
The Cozy Dog is an original fixture from the road, and where the first Corndog was invented.
While there, we were panhandled by a black man from Alabama.
Mr. Lincoln would be so proud.

7 comments:

Coffeypot said...

If it is on their qualifications now, they will be a Democratic President.
If the country keeps on its present path, they will need to be Republicans.

Pat said...

I sure hope you took the time to visit Lincoln's Library because that was THE coolest thing in Springfield, IMHO.

We, too, stopped and ate at the Cozy Dog.

I, too, rubbed Lincoln's, uh, NOSE, and quickly washed my hands afterwards so as not to get any germs from the thousands of people who touched the same spot before me that didn't wash their hands after peeing and picking their nose. Just saying...

Jewels said...

What a cool trip for the family...but you are insane. Road trips with kids are hellish. I know because I used to be the kid on them and we were never easy on my mother. Where was my father you ask? He FLEW to Florida and my mother drove the Suburban with all 4 girls down to meet him. Yup, he's kinda pimp like that. haha. Then again...they were some of my fondest memories. Glad you had fun and managed to escape actual arrest for your daughter...I mean scaling a monument AND picked the Pres' nose....ballsy!

Alex said...

Our next family holiday is going to involve a 6 hour road trip, both ways.
Think I'll google some cheapo airfares like Jewel's dad and let the husband suffer.

The Office Scribe said...

WHO LET YOU IN MY STATE???

(BTW - You can let your wife know that the city does have street sweepers. When I was in Springfield for my aunt's swearing in - she's a Senator - one awoke us at 4:30 in the morning. I thought it was a plow, it being January and all, but nope. It was a street sweeper. Sweeping the street. In the snow. God my state is backwards...)

Joshua said...

Growing up north of Chicago, we made class trips to Springfield every year from 6-9 grade. It was great the first time, but unnecessary the other years. The downfall to being in a small junior high.

The Blue Zoo said...

And not one family picture? Wth?

BlogCatalog

Humor & Funny Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory