All I wanted was 6 chicken legs.
Not for some weird Voodoo ritual. Besides, you use rooster legs for that.
No, I wanted 6 legs for my 3 picky little monsters, who believe the “other” parts aren’t real chicken.
ONE TIME of having dinner at the Dahmer’s house and NOW they’re suspicious of EVERYTHING!
So I pull up to KFC to order the 6 legs.
It’s ALWAYS the question of the day for the minimum wage staff too.
High School Dropout: “You want WHAT?!”
Me: “I said a 6 piece, of JUST legs.”
High School Dropout: “JUST LEGS?! Like in ‘legs ONLY’? You don’t want nuthin’ else?”
Me: “Nope. Just the legs.”
High School Dropout: “No breasts or anything?”
Me: “I’m going to need some more gas if I have to wait in this drive up lane much longer answering your stupid questions.”
High School Dropout: “Hold on, Sir, and let me check to see if we do that.” *yelling to management flunky* “THIS GUY AT THE WINDOW WANTS A SIX PIECE OF LEG ONLY! DO WE DO THAT?”
High School Dropout: “Okay, Sir, we do can do that. BUT unfortunately, we only have 3 legs.”
Me: *blink, blink* “Come again?”
High School Dropout: “We are almost out of legs and only have 3 left.”
Me: “THREE?!...How does THAT even happen?....Has your chicken supplier been selling you amputees?”
High School Dropout: “I’m not sure, Sir. I could ask my manager about that, if you want.”
Me: “GEEZ! Do you even HAVE your GED?”
Me: “It’s not like this is Popeye’s Chicken on some corner in the Hood. You guys are located in the country in INDIANA!”
H.S.D.: *quiet sobbing*
Me: “I mean, seriously, THIS IS KFC!...As in Kentucky Fried CHICKEN!.....How do YOU run out of Chicken?... Isn’t that against the law or something?”
H.S.D.:*silently praying for God to make it stop*
Me: “Do you think McDonald’s ever runs out of FREAKING CHEESEBURGERS?!”
H.S.D.: “I’m really sorry, Sir.”
Me: “Yes. Yes you are.”
H.S.D.: “Do you want the 3 that we have?”
Me: “Of course I do, don’t be silly. And a Family size tub of Mac & Cheese, Please.”
-Ending it in “Please” makes it all better and totally keeps them from spitting in the food.
-You might think I was a tad harsh, but we both know you are an overly sensitive tree hugger type who prefers rainbow and unicorns. Plus this was the SECOND time in a week that has happened to me at that same place.