Monday, January 3, 2011

First Post Of The New Year And It's An A La Carte Post

First, let me say...

What is the deal with everything taking AAA batteries now?

I believe it’s a conspiracy between battery and toy manufacturers to drive up sales of AAA batteries, which for years have been neglected for their beefier cousins, the AA.  

It’s like they said, “Now that everybody is fully vested in AA’s, and may have even gone so far as buying rechargeable AA’s with several chargers, we’ll switch things up a bit.”

It’s also not cool that AAA batteries typically come in packs of 2 or 4, but most toys require 3 or 5.

They obviously got this sales ploy from the hot dogs and buns manufacturers.

So...

I used to think working for the government was AWESOME because we got 10 paid holidays a year.
Then I spent 2  3-day weekends in a row with my kids. 
Work IS my vacation.
Meanwhile...
I took the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese’s over the weekend.
(If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know how that went.)
We were smart enough to skip eating the crappy Flu pizza they serve there and just went for the games and overhyped plastic junk prizes. 
For lunch, we stopped at Long John’s on the way.
It was the nastiest place I’ve been in since your mom.
There were tons of homeless-looking people in there who smelled and were visibly dirty with barely fitting clothes.
And that was just us.
There was trash and food everywhere too.
 Evidently they deep-fried the janitor.
We may have missed the Flu pizza at Chuck-E-Cheese’s, but we were served a healthy dose of plague Flounder at Long Johns.
And I’m pretty sure it was Ass Day at L.J.’s too.
I saw some of the BIGGEST asses I have ever seen in my life. Your mom included.
I’m talking Shelf-like asses.
Like they could have been servers and carried trays back there.
One lady had on brown pants and bent over in front of me. I assume she had dropped a deep-fried crispy  and it was running for its life.
I felt like I was about to be backed over by a UPS truck.
We made it to Chuck-E-Cheese's finally, where my 6 yr old proceeded to hit, not once but TWICE, the 150 ticket jackpot. After that, he was followed around by Chuckie Security who suspected him of cheating.
Which worked as a great distraction, as I tried hip bumping a coin machine that the wife had dumped tons of tokens into to see if I could get the pile that were precariously balanced on the edge to drop, thereby releasing a tidalwave of tickets.
The only thing I managed to do was set off an alarm and run away quickly.
The 6 yr olds tally was 390 tickets. Which the girl at the prize counter said qualified him to choose any prize in the glass case, or any of the $1.99 prizes on the wall.
$1.99 PRIZES?!?!
For 390 tickets?!?!
Since he started out about 40 tokens, which Chuckie charges about $0.25 for individually, that means he spent 10 dollars for a $1.99 prize.
And $8.01 for fun.
I'm not a Math Expert, but Chuckie is screwing my kid.
Finally...
I was informed over the weekend that I've been mispronouncing Snooki's name.
Seems her moniker is pronounced "Snuck-E".
I say this makes her even MORE retarded because Charlie Brown didn't call his dog "Snuppie".

7 comments:

Coffeypot said...

All the bumbs people you saw use to have full time jobs on the AA battery line. Sad story, them. And the happiest day of my life was when the grandkids said UpChuckie Cheese was stupid and for little kids. Brought tears to my eyes that I would never have to go in that place again.

middle child said...

Yup. I'm with ya on the batteries. It is a government plot to overthrow my sanity!

The Blue Zoo said...

We never eat at Chuck E Cheese either! Blech. We usually hit up Jack In The Crack. (thats what my husband calls it.) And they are totally screwing kids over!

Have you ever sat through an episode of Jersey Shore? I think her name should be changed to Snuppie.. lol

jules said...

I've noticed an increase in triple A's myself. it is odd.

jules said...

I've noticed an increase in triple A's myself. it is odd.

Momma Fargo said...

If you think toys and remotes are taking 3 to 5 batteries and the cost is outrageous, try supporting a girl's habit for her toys. I'm broke. It's a conspiracy. Just sayin'.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Dude.....stop talking about my ass. It totally hurts my feelings.

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