Friday, December 3, 2010

Becoming A Man

Wife: “You really need to have ‘The Talk’ with M (my almost 12 yr old).”
Me: “Why? Does he know something I don’t?”
Wife: “I just caught him looking at the Victoria Secret catalog again. And he told me that we need to start buying porn magazines because he’s getting to that age.”
Me: “What age exactly is ‘that age’? Are we talking Hugh Heffner, lounge around in pajamas all day, age?”
Wife: *blink,blink*
Me: “And what does he think, I’m made of money or something? NO! He’ll just have to make due the same way I did when I was a kid, National Geographics from the library.”
Wife: “I think you’re missing the point.”
Me: “I thought your point was he stole the Victoria Secret catalog from my bathroom again.”
Wife: “Why do I even bother?”

16 comments:

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Wait....your son asked his mom to buy him porn? He's even more screwed up than you. Did NOT think that was remotely possible. You must be proud...

Moooooog35 said...

Porn magazines?

Kids are so spoiled these days.
You're right, Ed. National Geographic and fantasizing about second cousins..that's the way we did it in the old days.

And in Kentucky.

Pat said...

That's all I gotta say is, "Your poor wife!" So it's true that the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree!"

Pat said...

That's all I gotta say is, "Your poor wife!" So it's true that the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree!"

Coffeypot said...

Damn kids. How can I enjoy my porn mags if all the pages are stuck together. Teach him control instead.

hotpants™ said...

I am so not ready for this... conversation or not.

Barb said...

OMG. My kid (14) told me I should buy him Playboy. Does that mean my kid is like your kid? Or your kid is like my kid? My head hurts.

BeckEye said...

What is the "talk" she wants you to have exactly? Based on his reading and viewing choices, you might want to have the one where you explain how most real women don't look like Adriana Lima nor do they enjoy when men pop one off in their eye.

Momma Fargo said...

LMAO. I hope you had the talk with him at age 2 because that's when boys and girls get naughty with themselves. LOL. Good luck.

WhisperingWriter said...

Ack. My son is 8 so I imagine his time is coming..

...I just hope it's not for a long, long time.

The Blue Zoo said...

If one of my boys EVER asks me to buy him porn Im going to barf.

They can make do with the Victoria Secret catalogs.

Kari said...

Nice. Take the devil's work and make a big funny joke out of it.

SurferWife said...

Good to see you again, Shitleg. Where were you?

Did you see the Victoria Secret Fashion Show? Maybe you can buy tickets for you and your son for next year.

Fickle Cattle said...

Hahahahahaha!

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

otherworldlyone said...

Hell, can't blame the kid. Even *I* look at the VS catalog. Just to look. ;)

Parenting WIN, Ed.

Matty said...

The perfect example of how differently men and women think.

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