Wednesday, November 10, 2010

It Is DEFINITELY Wrong To Beat Up Gay People, Even When They Mess Up Classic Song Lyrics.

I learned something from GLEE last night.
And that is…….Gay’s are people too.
Even if they are racist against people who are prejudice of their lifestyle, and secretly desire to be kissed by straight people, that doesn’t give you the right to shove them into their locker.
I also learned that, Gay’s may be really great singers & dancers, but meshing 2 or more songs into one just messes with everybody’s head and should never be done by anyone.
Gay or straight, leave Stairway to Heaven alone.
You might think I’m prejudice for saying all this, and you might be right because you’re gay and like buttsex, which just proves my point.
There is a difference between hating the peterpuffing and hating the peterpuffer.
And CLEARLY that difference is “ing” and “er”. DUH!
I don’t hate gays anymore than I hate midgets, illegal Mexicans, or those little plastic garbage-bag ties they use to secure toys in the packaging.
Their all equal in my eyes.
It’s the actions that I have a problem with.
Whether you say you were “born that way” or “made that way”, it doesn’t matter to me.
Nature may have dealt you a shitty hand, but it’s up to you what kind of strip-poker you play.
Midgets are born small, and yet they choose to wrestle or scare people with their freakish stature and tiny hands.
Mexicans are born south of the border, and they choose to sneak across illegally in the back of a truck packed 60 deep.
Plastic garbage bag ties are born to tie garbage bags, and yet they choose to make Christmas and birthdays hell by holding toys hostage in their packaging…..Wirey little criminals.
My point is, have your pride parades and civil unions and keen fashion sense and musical/dancing ability all you want, but don’t go messing with the lyrics to a classic song.
Unless you like being pushed into lockers.


19lt70 said...

I really shouldn't be laughing - Ed, you're so mean - but this is a funny post! I love the line about the wirey little criminals holding toys hostage. I have 6 daughters and I can't tell you how many umpteen boxes of Barbies I've had to heroically and painfully set free from those #@$% wires! And those fashion sense gay people who are "racist against people who are prejudice of their lifestyle" - oh, that's hilarious!

Coffeypot said...

You have to be gay to watch Glee!

Dorn said...


The Office Scribe said...

And it's posts like this that make me want to meet you in person...

I think there is still one of those metal twist ties and a hint of cardboard on the giant Maglite I keep next to my bed.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Okay, I realize I'm a bit late to the party on this one, but I HAVE to agree about the merging of the wrong songs thing. (I missed the Tues. night airing, and am catching up on Hulu now.) I'm only about 30 seconds into the girls' rendition of frickin' "Livin' on a Prayer" and "Start Me Up" and I had to stop to comment here. I'm just so ULTIMATELY confused and I've got whiplash from trying to keep up. It sounds like more of this is in store for me. (Stairway? Plus what else?! God help me.) I may have to hang myself the wrong way.

Anonymous said...

Okay, not Stairway...but still. Whiplash injury #2. Done. Holy crap.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I love that you refuse to be politically correct. I almost named my blog the Politically Incorrect Princess. I hate politically incorrect rules. It has RUINED the funny. However, I do love the gays. But I agree. Stairway to Heaven is owned by the straights. They should leave it alone. They've got all those songs by the Bee Gees and Lady Gaga. They're just getting greedy now...

Fred Miller said...

For may years, I thought "Stairway to Heaven" was, in fact, two different songs.

Anonymous said...


Im just surprised you admit to watching Glee.... Im thinking that makes you a little bit gay.

otherworldlyone said...

I gotta agree on the messing with classic song lyrics. But man, I love Glee.

If that makes me gay...oh well.

P.S. - For future reference, am I allowed to use the word "pussy" on this blog? What about used with the phrase "face down"?

WhisperingWriter said...

I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't watch Glee.

19lt70 said...

@whispering writer: I don't watch Glee, but my teenage daughters do. You're not the only one missing out on the youth culture's choice of television entertainment.

19lt70 said...

@whispering writer: I don't watch Glee, but my teenage daughters do. You're not the only one missing out on the youth culture's choice of television entertainment.

carissajade said...

I like glee because I like gay guys. Like "like" them like them. Like that gay teacher is so hot I might let him pretend I'm a dude.

Only you're totally right about the songs. It's complete bullshit. But since they've created so much freaking good musical theater- I have to forgive them. Not all of them. I'll never forgive Perez Hilton for when he used to be an asshole.


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