Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Smiley THIS!

I was making giant pretzels in the kitchen last night with my 6 yr old, when he noticed one of his school papers on the fridge.

He said, “I didn’t realized I missed that many on this paper.”
Having no clue what he was going on about THIS time, I said, “Huh?”

Him: “Geez. Look at all those red X’s! No wonder I only got a minus smiley face!”
Me: *…Blink, blink…* “Minus wha…..? Ummm….shouldn’t that be a frowny face then?”
Him: “No, look.”

Me: “That’s CRAZY! How can it be a minus or negative smiley?! Minus & negative mean the opposite of a smiley. And THAT would be a frowny.”

Him: “Oh man! I even made my ‘P’ backwards!”
Me: “Ahh, it’s an old paper anyway. And that’s probably a ‘Q’.”
Him: “Since when does ‘PIG’ start with ‘Q’?”
Me: *thinking if I know any cops named Quentin*


What are we teaching kids nowadays?!?!

I mean, I know the big thing is to give everybody a trophy just for participating (ex. “Congratulations Loser! You actually showed up every time! Here’s your trophy!”), but it’s no wonder these kids test scores are so low.

The freaking teachers don’t even know their opposites!

What happens when he goes to take the SATs in a bunch of years, and gets the following:

Rise is to Fall, as Succeed is to _________?

Minus Succeed?

Negative Succeed?


Wouldn’t these have been better:

UPDATE: My wife, also an Elementary teacher, explained that it was probably a Minus Zero, and his teacher drew a smiley face in the zero as a way of saying Good Job. I might accept that and feel the need to apologize to all my teacher/readers, IF not for all the red X’s on the paper.

How can they put red X’s AND put a minus zero or Good Job on the paper?

Can the teacher not count?
Were the red X’s some sick educator joke?
Maybe there really is a delicious farm animal named a ‘qig’?

Until then, I am pushing for teachers to be paid at the end of the year with trophies.


Moooooog35 said...

I give this post a negative smiley face with an anti-"have a nice day" symbol.

aladdinsane12 said...

stop. you had me at "giant pretzels." ;)

and yeah, a minus smiley face is the most bullshit grade ever. it's like a heart with a middle finger coming out of it.

Coffeypot said...

Why was the paper in the refrigerator? Hoping the cold would turn the red x’s blue?

And SUCCEED...isn’t that how the bird gets the goop out of the husk?

rxBambi said...

we had the "everybody plays everybody wins" thing when the kids were little. they kept score themselves so it worked out okay.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

I think that aladdinsane said it best!! LOL!

I never did think giving trophy's for participating was cool. You win or you loose baby, suck it up!

That's like saying when my first marriage went down the tube, I shoulda got a badge that said, "Better luck next time!" It's crap I tell you!

Jenny DB said...

AHA... its the minus smileys, and not all the other shit, that explains why kids are so misguided nowadays!! thanks for clarifying ;-)

Sara said...

If I were a teacher, I would write DUMBASS at the top of papers that did badly. And I would make the U into an almost smiley face.

Momma Fargo said...

So were the pretzels good?

Would you give them a positive or negative smiley face or a frowny face?

And stop teaching your son that cops are pigs. We're not. LOL. Maybe if you shared the giant pretzels.

BlackLOG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BlackLOG said...

I used to get "This is rubbish" and "You will never pass your exams". Thank god my teachers did not mark my final papers and that I didn't listen to the teachers anyway. If I'd followed their advice I'm not sure I would have even qualified for unemployment payments ....

The Invisible Seductress said...

dammit,,my brain got stuck at the giant pretzels too... - :(

mepsipax said...

Hi Ed.... that was awesome. Lost your blog for a while. Miss me?

mepsipax said...

And...I fucking hate all this "good job" shit, and thanks for participating. You know what I did when they started this shit? Starting throwing away participation ribbons, that's what.

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom said...

I'm not sure when adults decided kids were so SENSITIVE. When I was wee and picked last for teams in gym, no one gave me a hug while laughing hysterically at my lack of physical prowess. And look at me! I am stronger for it.

(Actually, I'm regularly cowed and still suck at athletics. BUT STILL.)

adrienzgirl said...

The degree of political correctness in this country has GOT TO STOP.

Do you know that the kids aren't allowed to play dodge ball anymore because it encourages feelings of negativity for those who get hit by the ball?

OMG! So when these kids get FIRED for stupidity, excuse me, for not being well suited for the position for which they were hired, what are we going to tell them? You are fired, you just aren't required to show up any longer. Take an extended vacation without pay?

It's ridiculous!

Matty said...

I can so relate to the trophy thing. When I was growing up, not everyone even made the team when they signed up for tryouts. Today, you sign, you play. Heaven forbid we should bruise an ego and upset a parent.

Miss Yvonne said...

I personally like the frowny face with the gun. It says "Do better next time or maybe you'll find a horse head in your bed, capiche?".

P.S. I have no idea how to spell capiche.

SurferWife said...

Angry much?

ScoMan said...

I don't know if it's been pointed out yet because I'm too lazy to read all of those comments, but minus zero is still zero. In fact, it's worse than zero, because it sounds negative.

"You didn't just get zero kid, you got minus zero"
"Isn't that still zero?"
".... For talking back to your teacher, you get minus 5. Wait, no, I can't draw a smiley face in a five. You get minus double zero"
"Can you just put a seven on the end"
"You're 6. Who told you about James Bond?

Dual Mom said...

Ohhhh Ed, nothing gets me on my soap box quicker than this! I HATE that we've become so "politically correct" with our children. People fail....it's what makes success all that much sweeter.

Daffy said...

You were really stretching for a post, weren't ya.

Sometimes less is more....justsayin

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I agree completely. (Who'd a thunk that woulda ever happened?) I wonder what the teacher's test scores were as a student?


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