They say knowing is half the battle. That happens to be the half I like most, mainly because I know everything. So no matter what the other half of the battle involves, I already have a 50/50 chance of WIN.
Ever seen somebody that you thought you knew, but you weren’t sure where from? And so you’re staring at them intently trying to figure it out. And then they catch you staring at them, but with this real intent look on your face, like you want to do them harm. And then you realize that they see you looking at them, so you try to pass it off with a smile or by looking away. But it’s too late, because now they are giving you the stinkeye. And that pisses you off, and you just want to punch them in the face. But instead, you turn away from the mirror. Mirrors are assholes, is my point.
So I have been losing weight at a Karen Carpenter pace lately. I figure, another midget worth or two, and I’ll go on a maintenance food plan. But right now, I’m still gearing towards another show down with that smartass WiiFit.
Sometimes, while mowing, I like to pretend my lawn is a giant Chia. Like an Earth Chia Pet. I need to be more creative though. Right now, when my neighbors ask why I left the one big strip down the middle, and if it’s because I ran out of gas, I tell them it’s just my lawn’s Mohawk. Or Lawnhawk.