Monday, November 2, 2009

Monday Memiors: Fun with dirt bikes...

Travis likes his stories, so here’s another.

Remember I told you about my dirt bikes. If not, go here.

Remember I told you about my neighbor/skating partner? If not, go here.

Okay, well….that same neighbor had a dirt bike also. We used to ride them in this field next to my house.

I’ve included this custom area map for your viewing pleasure. (circa my childhood)

When they were building this subdivision, the genius contractors were just going along, throwing up ranch style houses flippity-flap, when lo & behold, they hit a gas main. Well, this caused their development plans to stop at my house. What was left was a big empty field with the hole for a foundation next door.

Jump to dirt bike days…

We had worn this little dirt bike course through the field.

It started out with a long straightaway, then a series of corners, followed by another straightaway into the foundation, and finished with a jump exiting the foundation and landing in my side yard.

We must have done this a hundred times, for several weeks.


One day, my neighbor gets a little extra speed and air…lands on his back tire…and rides a wheelie into the side of our house.

Thankfully he wasn’t hurt, but the same could not be said for the aluminum siding.

It was hilarious.

Unfortunately, his parents made him pay for the damages out of his McDonald’s paycheck.

He didn’t ride much after that.

Months pass…

Guess what!

I’m flying through the dirt bike course. It’s a new record time. By that, I mean….I was an idiot.
I come out of the foundation like Evil Knievel jumping Snake River Canyon.
I landed about 10 ft from the side of the house…..on my back tire…..with me dangling off the back barely clinging to the handlebars.
I had no way of backing off the throttle without letting go.
Dad had to fix the siding that time, since I was too young to have a job.
I did get grounded from the bike for awhile though, plus a really nice burn on my leg from the exhaust.

When I finally got back on the bike, I took it easy through that foundation.

Here's a bonus story:

I almost killed myself in the corn field across the street.

They had harvested the corn and I was flying through there about 50 mph when I hit a HUGE dirt clump.
The bike came to a complete stop.
I didn’t.
I instantly achieved what the Wright Brothers failed for years to do.

I didn’t even need a plane.

I flew like superman for what seemed like either 100 yards or 5 minutes.

There’s still some debate between my head and my ass.

Regardless, by landing was a graceful head plant. By head plant, I mean my helmet landed first, sunk in the dirt, and my body momentarily stuck straight up like a corn stalk, then fell over.

I lay there for an hour, believing I was either dead, or paralyzed, or both.

Good Times.

I miss that dirt bike. Maybe I should get the boys one.


adrienzgirl said...

Um...I gonna go out on a limb for your wife here and just say NO!

Travis said...

Dude. It beats the hell out of the 3 wheeler we had that couldn't make left hand turns.

I say get your kids one.

carissajaded said...

Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree. I think you and dirt bikes should probably refrain from re-establishing a relationship....

Charisse and Holly said...

"There’s still some debate between my head and my ass." I'd like to see that conversation. LOL Holly at

Moooooog35 said...

My fun dirt bike story is letting my buddy Eddie from the city drive while I sat on the back.

He subsequently drove over every single ditch in the field.

As I finally fell off, impaling my balls on a small tree branch (that was fun to let mom look at), I looked up and watched completely out of control as my falling off threw him off balance...smash directly into a pine tree.

I miss my dirt bike, too.

Heather Leigh said...

It all sounds so logical and appealing at the time, yes? Then reality hits and you're literally flying through the air. Good times. I have many such memories, though with less dirt bikes and more horses.

Coffeypot said...

I use to dirt bike, too. Back in the day there was a huge mall being built on top of a small mountain and it was perfect for hill climbing and racing around the top.

I was also as coordinated as a pregnant pole vaulter.

I had to carry extra brake and clutch handles because I was going to do down - without question - and those handles break like pretzels.

Jay Ferris said...

I couldn't help but laugh at the visual of you sticking out of the ground like a corn stalk. There's got to be a "reap what you sow" joke in there somewhere.

Anonymous said...

I have laughed remembering all this. You boys were dandies in the neighborhood and i have a few stories on you guys myself if you run out of material LOL

ScoMan said...

Dirt bikes were a lot of fun. I never had one myself but would often use my cousins.

There were injuries as well, and damage. But that's what being a kid is all about right?

Anonymous said...

i disagree, I think it means you should not get them one.

kys said...

I will never get my kids dirt bikes. They were hell-on-wheels in their battery powered jeep. I can only imagine what they'd do on a dirt bike.

LiLu said...

I did something similar on a trampoline. After I was told 14,000 times never to do a flip on a trampoline.


Carol said...

Would have love to seen you or friend hitting the side of the house because I would have laughed my ass off even though it would be inappropriate!


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