Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dr. Dragonlady and How I Got FIRED.

Dear Dr. Dragonlady,

I must say, when you first got me FIRED, I actually planned your death and destruction. See, I was so shocked when it happened. Not that I didn’t expect it, nor that I didn’t deserve it. I was shocked that every other physician in the practice caved to your demands. Seems I was the ONLY one willing to put you in your place. That’s what shocked me the most. How everybody else could be so terrified of you, is beyond me, but just proves what a nasty bitch you were. I really thought someone would have taken my side.

Let’s see:
*Cherub (Office Manager)= Nope……even though two days prior to carrying out the firing, she put down on my 90-day review, that I was the best, most knowledgeable, and friendliest Medical Assistant that the practice ever had.

*Dr. Russianjew (Practice owner/Head Dermatologist) = Nope…..even though he always requested that I work with him on your off days.

*Dr. Airheadhotness (Outpost Dermatologist) = Nope….even though she always made a point of telling me how pleased she was with my work.

*Dr. NoBalls (aka Mr. Dragonlady) = Not a chance…..Even though I was probably the closest thing to a friend your husband’s ever had. At least since he’s been married to you and therefore you’ve kept his balls in your purse, that is.

*The four Female Medical Assistants that were also part of our “team” = Not a one (bitches)…..even though they would talk everyday at lunch about how much they hated you and wanted to quit and wished you were dead and how many times that day you had made them cry.

In fact, when Cherub broke the news, she apologized profusely to me. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to feed my family. But I’m thankful NOW.
See, I had never been let go from anywhere before this. In fact, when I would leave a place, they would usually beg me to stay. Cause I’m AWESOME!
I know you were a newer physician, but that gives you NO excuse to treat your staff like shit. I think you actually got off on seeing how mean you could be, and how many times you could make the girls cry in a day. I came closer to punching you than I ever have to a woman in my life. Even your patients noticed you being a bitch, and would often ask your staff if they were “Alright?” after you left the room.
Not only that, but you sucked. Your hands were too damn shaky to be doing all those Derm surgeries. That’s why we had to use so much numbing on every patient. You cut all over the damn place. Good thing your Plastic Surgery trained husband was there to cover your ass and clean up your messes. That’s probably why you married him. That, and his lack of a spine. What a team you made. You’d cut, he’d close . Good thing too, cause your sutures looked like shit. I’ve seen better needle work in a Home Ec class. Is that how they taught you at Duke. Probably, cause Duke sucks.
I am interested to know exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.
Was it cause I told you that, we didn’t like being force to listen to your David Sedaris books on tape while riding for hours in your car on the way to clinics? Sorry, not everybody wants to hear about his homosexual exploits.
Was it because I asked your husband, Dr. NoBalls, if he was a Sadist? I was just trying to figure out why he put up with so much of your abuse.
Was it because I told you that I didn’t want to work with you, and put in for that other job in the office? That must have been it, because that’s what Cherub mentioned. She said when you made your case to the other docs, you said that I shouldn’t be the stationary office medical assistant if I was willing to work with ALL the physicians, since all the physicians had days working in the office.

Whatever. They all got theirs in the end.

Two days after I was fired, you announced you were leaving to take an internship in San Diego. The practice lost all that money they invested in the equipment for “your” special procedure, not to mention having to pick up all yours and Dr. NoBalls’ patients. All of the two-faces bitches of medical assistants that worked for you were let go, since they were no longer needed.

I should actually thank you. If I would have been there until you left, I would have totally missed the posting deadline for my VA job. You actually did me a solid. I went from working a suckass job making $9.25 an hour, to getting a sweet government job for about $38,000 a year, plus kicking benefits.

So, thanks, Dr. Dragonlady.

Love,
Ed

P.S. You totally wanted me too. Don’t think I didn’t catch you checking out my ass. Plus, you were always “accidentally” rubbing up against me.

*names have been changed to protect the guilty, and to avoid potential lawsuit*

27 comments:

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Karma, Ed. It will bite her in the ass someday.

Travis said...

I love letters to people.

She'll get what she's got coming.

Hell, we should look her up.

We can totally be the agents of Karma.

Cool costumes and urrything.

Secret Agent K said...

I hate people like that

Biotch

If you want you tell me where she lives and I can go kick her in the cooter?

Throwin that out there for ya

ScoMan said...

Sounds like she was on a real power trip. I work with someone like that, but luckily mine doesn't have any real power. It's all in her head and she tries using it to push others around.

Your situation could be a case of the worst person you've ever known helping you to the best job you've ever had. Imagine that.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Remind me to never fire you. This is why I have no education...women in power...they suck.

adrienzgirl said...

Dude, I would rather work for a man any day of the week and twice on Sunday than work for a woman. SERIOUSLY!

Women make terrible bosses. That's real!

Coffeypot said...

You have no friends in a firing. Everyone is afraid to say anything in your support since they could go, too. But in almost every case of a firing, the firee has come out on the better end with a better job. Good for you.

And Special Agent K's comment has be laughing hard. Funny line.

Lily said...

BITCH
(she totally wanted your ass. We all do)

She needs a "flaming bag of dog poo" special...

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I bet writing this post really felt GOOD. I've left a job in the past where I'd have loved to call someone out for all their mishaps. In fact, my old blog was dedicated to work stuff and idiots. It was therapeutic. Oddly enough my nemesis was called Dragonlady too! Here's to better lives without ignorant assholes who make it harder.

Sonrisa said...

Woo! I only hope I can write a letter like this someday. I returned from my honeymoon last week only to be fired by the power hungry bitch who's been gunning for me for the past 3 months. Even though everyone I work with loves me and even though my supervisor spent weeks reassuring me everything would be ok. Supervisor stood right there while Ms Manager did it. Never stood up for me once.

I'm glad Dr. Dragonlady got hers. I hope Ms Manager does, too.

Semky said...

A new, young, hotshot (or so HE thought) president was hired by our corporate overlords. We had a "reduction in force" of ONE person about five months later. It was me because Super Kid didn't know what I brought to the table (business, as it turns out). Corporate let him go a few months later. I HAD to move on, of course, and found out recently that the entire division is closing down and EVERYBODY's out of work. But I'm not! Great letter!!

BlackLOG said...

The only time I have been sacked (so far) was from my school football team. As the team keeper I had a 100% penalty save record (The only penalty I faced the striker hit the ball straight at me and I was not quick enough to get out of the way).

After a season and a half I was thrown off the team - I think the official reason for my sacking was bunny hopping in a built up area with out an appropriate licence during the hours of daylight...I may have jumped over the ball when I thought it was going wide - only for it to end up in the centre of my goal.

I got the last laugh though as the team went onto lose the next four games

16 - 1
21 - o
17 - 2
24 – 4

The team begged me to play for them again after this...I held true to my word though and never set foot on the pitch with them again.

The most I ever let in was 11, It was three years before they registered a win (it was primarily a rugby school). Gosh imagine missing out on all that misery....

Secretia said...

I would probably want that person to get fired too.

spleeness said...

Congratulations! It sounds like the best thing that ever happened to you, being removed from working with a woman like that.

Once when I was in school, I got sick and went to the med clinic. A mean, homely nurse there yelled at one of the other female staffers who left the room in tears. She then turned to me and said, "I hate working with women!" and proceeded to ask me to disrobe. Dayum! I wonder if she left school and is now at your old workplace! lol

kys said...

I hope a snake comes up out of her toilet and bites her on the ass. She deserves it.

PS I like David Sedaris.
PPS It is rude to make everyone listen to your audio books.

Carol said...

Working with women absolutely sucks ass. We are moody, selfish, mean little bitches that know how fake a smile when needed but love to stab each other in the back.

Guys are so much easier to work with. Living with you is a whole other pile of shit.

Moooooog35 said...

Yet another reason why women shouldn't work.

WHO IS BAKING ME PIES IF YOU'RE ALL AT THE OFFICE? WHO?!?!

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

LMAO Moooooooooog

Anyhoo - isn't it great when crappy things happen to you and then later you get to say haha it worked out better anyway?

I have a story I will have to email you about me getting fired and the karma that is coming to the biotch who fired me!

Sally-Sal said...

She totally wanted it.

mepsipax said...

Great post. I laughed. She was such a bitch but it worked out so there is that.

Plus, I am pretty sure bitchiness causes wrinkles and yeast infections.

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

i pray every day on the way to work that I would get fired.

lucky.

The Blue Zoo said...

Im sure she got you fired because you wouldnt put out!

Mike said...

You should have totally just filled up her mouth to shut her up.

GingerJar said...

I used to work agency...and we had a "witch" of a Plastic Surgeon who has a surgical suite at her office. I had never worked surgery and told her so...but the agency could not get another nurse to work for her...and I was a newbie. She had me crawling on the floor trying to fix equipment I had never seen before and was screaming at me. I swore I would never go back..no matter how good the money was, I lied. I worked for her almost 4 miserable weeks while I was waiting for my Contract in Tennessee to get confirmed. After I got to Tennessee I got calls from her office weekly begging me to come and work for her. NOT A CHANCE IN HELL! She still does not have a staff nurse and has to depend on Agency every week, and it's been 3 years!!!!!

Cassie said...

I am a girl, I'll hit her for you.

Tony said...

Hi I came to your page through Idiot's Stew and I have to tell you that I've really enjoyed going through your posts. When I read this one I had to ask myself "did we work together?" because you nailed it - this was just like someplace I worked before. The funny thing is that I'm working for the VA now too

Oh, before I forget thanks for the comments on my post for Ian's Turkey Palooza.

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