Friday, October 16, 2009

Fridays Funnies....

I've got pneumonia. Yay me!
Or Bronchitis.
The nurse practitioner wasn't exactly sure which it was, but decided to treat both.
I guess X-rays were beyond her scope of training.
Of course, the wife knew all along. She has been telling me for two weeks to go to the doctor.
I guess her Elementary Education Degree came with an honorary MD.

Interesting fact: Fosters may actually be Australian for Beer.
Seems they have a history for naming things incorrectly. According to my 10 yr old animal expert and his library book, when the first Australian settlers inquired about the strange animals hopping around the landscape to the local Aborigine people, they were told Kangaroo.
Unfortunately, Kangaroo in the native Aboriginal language means, "I don't understand your question."
Next time you're at your local zoo, make sure to check out the I don't understand your questions and their little Joeys......(which probably means "lazy free-loader").

So, yesterday, I planned to go for a ride in this silver homemade balloon to see if I could spot some over-weight ex-Ralph Lauren models.
But instead, I just hid in the garage attic until Rush Limbaugh decided not to buy the Rams.
Turns out, that was a big waste of time. The group buying the Rams had already decided that Rush wouldn't play well with others. I hear now they are looking to add Don Imus to their group.

If I was a potato, could I make my own fries?
How would that work?
Would anyone even want those fries?
Could I eat them myself, or would that be a form of self-cannibalism?
Is there a form of fries that comes from the couch variety? Cause I have a lock on that already.
Come to think of it, there is. Occasionally, I will find some fries in between the cushions.
Although, those don't taste all that good.

Remember to spay and neuter your children.


Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am laughing!! I had mine spayed yesterday.

Semky said...

Oh yeah, you're sick. Your usual funny is still recognizable, but it's also got delirium written all over it. Get better quick but keep writing in the meantime ... we might get some real gems!

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

Poor Poor Ed. I hope you feel better soon.

The balloon thing was nuts. I was so worried for that boy! I actually live near 104th Avenue and the thing went down around 160th Ave which was not too far from my place.

That family is looking nuttier by the minute...

I had to restrain from blogging about it to make way for Drabby to Fabby. Your wife looks Ah-Maze-ing btw!

Pastor David said...

That honorary MD degree you think your wife has is called motherhood. They can spot an infection a mile away cause they know they will be dealing with the consequences.

And thanks a bunch after you post I know have the Fifth Dimension's Beautiful Balloon tune and lyrics running through my head. Hopefully you do now, too!

CK Lunchbox said...

Dude! I'm glad you got to the Dr - that's how that Swine Flu crap gets you.

Can Rush be sayed & neutered?

And holy crap! That comment you left me... I don't know where to begin. Tom? Really.

Travis said...

"If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself? I would. I'd be delicious." Done in my best Harry Carey voice.

Feel better, asshat.

adrienzgirl said...

So, you give us Hot Doc Lady.

Questions from "Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?

Rush, Imus and Wife swap rejects.

And then....tag lines from The Price is Right.

I want to have my children's voice boxes removed instead of their reproductive organs...does that count?

BTW-hope you feel better soon! Have some chicken soup, it has healing properties!

Daffy said...

LOL ASSHAT! Theres that word again (typed in a sing-songy voice). Sorry you're not feeling well. Just remember - YOUR WIFE IS ALWAYS RIGHT

kyslp said...

Wives don't need an MD. We just know everything.

Feel better soon.

Secretia said...

Get it healed, I hate bronchitis, it's painful and unconfortable and contagious. Take care,Ed


Phillipia said...

Feel better Ed....or stay in bed with Vick's until you do...

A lil chicken rice soup never hurts either.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

If you were a potato, you couldn't eat yourself because (watch out...clever pun ahead) potatoes have EYES, but no mouths. HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Sigh. I shouldn't comment when I have to pee so bad.

Mb said...

The potato comment made me think of Harry Caray, "if you were a potato, would you eat yourself?" Haha.

I blame the baby that you are sick. Feel better.

phairhead said...

cannibal potatoes and neutered kids!!! huzzah!


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