I haven't blogged this story before. Although, most of my close friends have probably heard it since my wife LOVES telling it. Here goes:
At one time, I worked at Lowe's. You know, the home improvement store. Anyway, I had been doing inventory. Inventory was done at nights, for a week straight. Needless to say, my sleep schedule was a little off. *I should also mention that I am somewhat of a heavy sleeper as I grew up in a house next to a train track.........plus getting to sleep has never come easy, so when I do finally go out, I am REALLY out*.
My wife was the church secretary. When I was at work, she would stay home with our son who was probably 1 1/2. Then, on my days off, she would go in and I would stay home with the boy.
Well, since inventory was at night, this meant all my days were "off" that week.
This particular day, the wife went in while I got the boy his breakfast. After breakfast, he assumed his normal position in front of the TV (don't judge me) for a little time with Elmo and Barney. We actually do limit our kids watching TV, but PBS in the mornings is usually OK.
Being worn out from a night of moving heavy stuff, I laid down on the couch to watch a little Sesame too.
At some point, I went out.
Next thing I know, I am awakened by something cold and wet covering my face.......and the sound of a maniacal toddler laughing. I open my eyes to pitch blackness. Confused and disoriented, and begin to sit up. It's then that I realize that my innocent and normally docile little name sake.......................... has placed the toilet plunger on my face!
Did I mention it was wet?!....................Do I have to spell out how it probably came to be that way?
As soon as I sat up, the boy who had only been walking for a few months, SPRINTED into the next room....................laughing all the way. I immediately started cussing....Hey, I had a potty mouth, literally. I mean, talk about being Shizfaced!...Okay,okay.....So, I hoped up, ran and washed my face. Then I called the Mrs. to tell her what happened and how it was her fault.
She promptly laughed in my ear. Hysterically!
After I hung up, I went to find my little plumber. I didn't kill him, but the thought of a baby swirly did cross my mind.