My Truck is a DINOSAUR.......RRAAWWWRRRR!!!

I had to post this, because I'm pretty sure my truck is secretly a dinosaur, and I wanted there to be photographic evidence before it's too late and it eats someone like in the movie Christine.

The last couple of days, my truck has had some wicked looking teeth. I'm pretty sure these are for eating slow drivers and hitchhiking babies.

I know this all sounds crazy, which not only means it's most likely true, but seeing how I've only had this truck about a year, and it's quite possible that it's a Transformer like Bumblebee, but meaner and T-Rex-ier.

Maybe it's a Decepticon.

All I know is that it's good at hiding its vicious fangs in the summer, but come winter, it's feeding time.

I can't help feeling sorry for all those blue-haired Sunday drivers and wondering hobo infants.

See for yourself.

Case closed.

Tuesday Quickie...

Welcome to my Funnies, all you new people. Make sure you go back and read some of my old stuff. Some of it is decent. It's your job to find the decent stuff mixed with all the indecent...wait....undecent....err....nondecent.......screw it, I'm AWESOME. Go see for yourself.

And now some quickies:

Conversation over Christmas weekend @ my house between the Wife and ME while watching White Christmas:

Me: “I read somewhere that Danny Kay wasn’t Bing Crosby’s first choice to play opposite him.” (because I’m full of useless knowledge)

Wife: “Nuh-uh. Really?” (said doubtfully, cause she knows I’m usually trying to dupe her)

Me: “Yeah, he wanted Fred Astaire, since they played together in Holiday Inn. Fred was his first choice. But Fred declined, because he thought he was getting too old. Then he wanted some other old dead dude, but that guy had a prior engagement on another project.”

Wife: “Was it Van Johnson?”

Me: “That sounds about right.”

Wife: “It probably was because he was big around that time.”

Me: “Yeah, so Danny Kay was option 3. And I guess he was pissed when he found out.”

Wife: “Poor guy. But he wasn’t known for dancing. He was more of a comic.”

Me: “I know, but I like Danny Kay. He’s funny. And they had good chemistry onscreen. And he’s a good guy, what with starting St.Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital and all.”

Wife: “That was Danny Thomas.”

Me: “Right! Danny Kay Thomas.”

Wife: “No, just Danny Thomas. He was a different actor.”

Me: "I think that’s probably incorrect.”

Wife: “I think YOU’RE incorrect. Maybe you should look it up online.”

Me: “Nah, I prefer to remember it my way. Since that’s the correct version.”

Wife: “Wrong version, you mean.”

Me: “Well, maybe Danny Kay started Riley Children’s Hospital.”

Wife: “That was James Whitcomb Riley.”

Me: “Geez, why does everything have to be so factual with you. A boy can dream, can’t he?!”


Today, while helping Old Guy Office Mate take a photo to put on a dating website:

Me: “So, what kind of pose are you going with? You want just a standard headshot?”

OGOM: “Yeah! Give me a Headshot! Headshot!”

Me: “Calm down tiger, save it for the ladies…….I said Headshot………….HeadSHOT……………SHOT……..S-H-O-T…..not….J-O-B.”

OGOM: “Just take a close up.”

Me: "Okay. How much physique do you want showing? Gut? No Gut?"

OGOM: “Most of the women on the site post from here (points to chest) up, so you can see some of their breasts.”

Me: “Is that what you want? You want them to see your breasts?”

OGOM: “F@*# You, asshole!” (said while laughing hysterically)

Here's your commercial Lee...

Right up front, I want to say that I have received nothing for doing this, and will accept nothing in return.

I don't do product placement, for reasons I have mentioned previously.

This was a fun project intended to make people laugh, improve my movie making skills, provide some free publicity for a friend, and give me another chance to show off my AWESOME MS Paint skills.

First, I want to think Lee at Headaches, Hotflashes, and Hormones for letting me poke fun at her products.
Lee, feel free to steal my idea at the end of the video.

Secondly, I want to thank Travis for encouraging me not to just mail it in.

Thirdly, and Most Importantly, I want to thank the Wife for allowing me the time to finish this, and offering your constructive criticism. It definitely would not have happened without you.
(i.e. you talked me into killing the first vlog idea of me masturbating in the shower; and you kept the kids entertained all Monday evening while I finished this, even though you were ready to kill me.)


Without further ado, I give you this.....