Day 3 Niceness and a plug for my guest post

Day 3 of the Nice Online Persona Challenge laid* down by my wife

I know a lot of you peeps are disappointed in my new positive disposition.

You come here looking for your daily dose of jackassery, only to have me smack you with fluffy kittens instead.

Well, fear not my pessimistic patrons.

Just like Dexter, my Dark Passenger can be put at bay for only so long.

I shall WIN this happy challenge, which will in turn guarantee me lots of sexy time with the Wife (and her ever elusive respect), and then return to my sarcastic roots.

In the meantime, we should all take this as a learning experience.

May we all become better people with brighter personalities.

Maybe even reach out to those around us.

Even give them a squeeze.

Or a playful smack.

Just don’t leave a mark or HR will get involved.

Or better yet, hug a dwarf…..Or midget……Or little person…..Or vertically challenged human, whatever.

Just DON’T pick them up, cause that pisses them off, and this is about positive experiences.

In the meantime, go over to Travis' and check out my guest post** today.



*At least something is getting laid

**I will try and guest post for anybody, if they ask nicely. THIS INCLUDES YOU HILLBILLY DUHN! Yes, you have to actually ask. These things don’t just appear out of my butt hair. And I am NOT boycotting your blog. I just can’t comment on your blog because of the stupid format of your stupid blog’s comments section.

***Wifey, please don’t count that “stupid” talk against my score.

Happy,happy,happy, happy jazz hands.

Day 2 of my wife's Positivity Challenge.

Oh what a glorious day for smiling and laughing.

I'm so happy I could poop sunshine and fart flowers. (Fart Blossom?)

The world is great.

Crime is fun.

The Evening News is child-safe.

Politicians are very trustworthy, monogamous, upstanding role models.

Now that my hair is growing out (see blog character in upper left hand corner), I could probably be on the second season of Jersey Shore.

That's a Classy show!

Yes, life is just grand.

Even the people in Haiti are happy, especially the still alive ones.

Now that everything has calmed down, they can get back to their practicing VooDoo.

Which makes them very giggly.

LOST starts back up tonight! That's AWESOME!

Well, I think this fills my quota for niceness for today.

Day 2=WIN

Memoir Monday: If only I had owned a black leather jacket

Memoir Mondays with Travis.

It’s kind of like Tuesdays with Morrie, only less die-y.



Oh, before I start. My wife has challenged me to be less negative in my “online persona” for a week.

By this, she means I should stop being hateful, negative, dick-y, and mean (i.e. funny).

I have accepted this glorious challenge for self improvement and enlightenment of my followers as she never ruled out the use of sarcasm.


Onward…

The year was……….I don’t remember because I was little and now I’m old so my rememory isn’t as good anymore but it was a longtime ago.

Regardless, the following took place when I was a little guy. Maybe 5.

And just like THIS story, it happened at church.

Now, if you saw my guest post over HERE, then you will remember me telling all about my early stage fright.

Well, every year around Christmas time at the Assemblies of God Church I grew up in, they would give each of the children a verse to memorize.

Then, during the evening church service, the children would parade up onstage and recite our memory verses into the microphone, for the enjoyment of our parents and the elderly folk.

Now, I actually have a photographic memory. Or I used to.

However, I don’t remember what my verse was, which is basically what happened that night.

So, when it was my turn, I stepped up to the mike, looked out into the sea of expectant faces, and gave a double thumbs up while I said:

“Heeeeyyyy, I’m the Fonze!”


Brought.The.House.Down!

What can I say? I loved Happy Days.